Today's post will just be a series of status updates, for your sake and mine.
Book status: cut all the "that"s. Turns out there were 10,000 of them. Just kidding.
Newt status: I have officially transferred over to Little Red (My Mac Book. I thought about calling him "mac", but that seems too obvious.)
In a last ditch attempt to grab my attention, Newt went out and got implants. I had to break it to him gently: implants just don't do it for me.
He asked to be cremated, and his ashes spread all over the new Mac Book. I agreed to cremate him, but instead of smothering Little Red, I told Newt he would leave his legacy by causing a small hole in the ozone. (What with the burning plastic and all.)
In fond farewell, he has left you all a message, and I quote: "WHHHHHIIIIIIRRRRRRRRRRR"
(That's the sound of his fan working overtime, to no avail. The darn thing still burned a hole in my blanket).
Sanity status: abandoned ship long ago. Thought of creating an Oedipal complex just for fun, but couldn't find any spare daggers. Anyone have a few windmills I can chase? Speaking of windmills (which I'm sure you all were), I always wanted to marry someone with the last name Quixote. I would have changed my last name for that one. Just say it. Brodi Quixote. Marrying Truman Capote came in a close second. Just random facts to illustrate the sanity status.
Archie the Great: still a tool. But, when he attacked me yesterday, I laid a trap for him. Yes, he killed most of my troops, but my troops took half of his cavalry with them. My soldiers were very brave, and died honorable deaths. The ones who survived have been charged with the task of revising my book. I can't wait to see what they come up with.
Cheap Thrills status: nothing more entertaining right now than the U.S. senate showdown. Here's hoping it turns into an Old West shootout. (A girl can dream, can't she?)
Any more suggestions as to words I can cut, send them along my way.
For those of you still reading, thank you for hanging in there!
This may be the crazy in me talking, but I love you all. Like really really a lot a lot. (I stole that last line from my book. Stellar isn't it?)
"There's nothing to writing. All you do is sit down at a typewriter and open a vein." ~Walter Wellesley "Red" Smith
If I had known Newt was going to get implants, well, I would have totally kept him/her.
ReplyDeleteBrodi Capote is awesome and if you would have agreed to take my last name, I would have changed it to Capote for that reason. Sam and Brodi Capote would have made us the most popular couple in the neighborhood.
If you want to cut words, I suggest to just take out any word that starts with 'D' or 'F'. I am sure that will eliminate many unnecessary words and make it flow well.
Brodi we love you a lot too!!! keep up with all the great work!! i know your book will be great no matter what!!! love ya tons!!
ReplyDeleteSam-
ReplyDeleteIs it too late to agree to take your last name? For the Capote factor?
Also, if I took out the 'D' and 'F' words, what would Lane say when she gets frustrated?
Eliza- I totally love you too!
i want to come pet little red...
ReplyDeletesigh
Yes, Don Quixote! I call people at work that all the time when I can't remember their names! Hang in there, your book will emerge a masterpiece. I can't think of any words to help you cut. I was going to suggest words like love, happy, joy, etc. but then I realized that is just a bitter old hag talking!
ReplyDeleteWith all your status updates, maybe you should start doing them real-time on Twitter (like all the other nerds)
ReplyDeletehttp://twitter.com/MichaelJensen
mike-
ReplyDeleteYou calling me a nerd?
I do hear Twitter is the next step over to the dark (dork) side, but I don't quite get it yet. Maybe I'll have to give it a chance.
Oh my gosh Brodi,
ReplyDeleteMy computer (No name--except maybe That Piece of Crap) speaks the same language as Newt. Seriously--I need to replace him too.
Good luck with all the revisions. It's already great, the revisions will only make it perfect.
Anne
Where did Newt get his implants...my computer might needs some too...just to spice up my life.
ReplyDelete