My stacks of signed books to give away are finally getting smaller. Yay. I will let you know how you can enter (you can even enter twice this week!) at the end of the post... Not because it's some big secret, but because it will make more sense at the end of the post.
Thing 1: Writer Peep Kim Reid (5 out of 6 on our crazy scale... see sidebar) just landed herself an agent. Those of you who are longtime readers of my blog know what a serious accomplishment this is. In my opinion, it's the biggest hurdle in the minefield of hurdles known as the publishing industry. Huzzah Kim!Thing 2:
Do you ever pay attention to the music playing in the grocery store? Neither do I. Because it usually sucks.
So, I'm at the grocery store the other day, and I happen to notice the music. It was actually a pretty good song. I couldn't believe it. I thought maybe they got a new manager. A younger, hipper manager.
Well, it was a song I liked, so he couldn't have been that young or that hip. I digress.
Anyway, then the next song comes on, and it's another song that doesn't make me puke. Imagine my luck.
But the song was one of those ones that requires a "radio edit" in several places.
So I'm picking out my milk, when one of those "radio edit" spots come on... Only there's no edit.
Granted, the music is soft enough for the grocery store, but still loud enough that I can distinctly hear the expletive. Several of them.
I give the woman next to me a shocked look, and she looks at me with an equally disgusted expression.
I'm about to suggest we go alert the employees when the woman looks at my butt. And scowls.
Probably y'all have already figured out the twist to the story, but it took me a good 10 seconds to realize the music was coming from the iPhone blaring in my back pocket.
You see, Sam got me an iPhone player for my car speakers, and I didn't know the music keeps playing even after I unhook it.
And when in my back pocket, my phone's speakers were just muffled enough to sound like the store sound system.
I gave the woman a sheepish smile, and then sprinted for the door. As for why I would have such a song that needs radio edits, what can I say? Some good bands just have potty mouths.
To enter the contest:
1. Leave a comment here, and share an embarrassing moment or blunder of your own so we can commiserate. If you can't think of one, share one from your favorite book.
2. After you've done that, if you want to earn a second entry, you can head on over to Kim's blog and congratulate her in the comments.
Caveat: You have to leave a comment here first, just so I know which ones of Kim's commenters are there from my blog. Does that make sense? Let me know if it doesn't.
My kids are out of school today, because apparently a fissure will erupt in the universe if the kids actually attend all five school days in one week.
Have a great weekend, y'all. Anyone have fun plans? I'm having lunch with Cranberry Fries. I hope she actually brings Cranberry Fries.
Brodi, I can top you. Well, my wife can. Yesterday my wife went in the OB/GYN to get checked up. WHen he started the checkup he gave her a weird look but didn't say anything and proceded with the checkup. It wasn't until she got home that she realized that one of our daughters stickers which she leaves all over the house had somehow made its way onto her pelvis and a little puppy dog was staring up at the doctor as he went to do the exam. We got great guffaws off that one!
ReplyDeleteEric- that is absolutely hilarious! Yes, that tops mine.
ReplyDeleteI think it is safe to say that you have a bunch of naughty songs on your playlist. I will say--I hate it when my bottom starts playing some tunes.
ReplyDeleteI don't think that I have ever had an embarrassing moment. Pretty much smooth sailing for me.
Wow, thanks for all the cheerleading, Brodi! I commented on my own blog. Can I be entered in the contest? jk
ReplyDeleteI'm glad to hear I've cleared the biggest hurdle. Because right now revisions are looking even bigger.
Oh, I forgot about the embarrassing moment. None of mine are very funny. But I love the Janette Rallison book where the girl gets in the wrong car that looks identical to hers. That's a pretty good one, probably based on fact somewhere.
ReplyDeleteThat would totally be me. I have so many songs on my iPod that need the radio edit, but don't have the edit.
ReplyDeleteMy embarrassing moment happened in Vegas when I was about 14. I developed early and kind of kept developing, so I had a rather large chest at the age. Well, my dad and I went to the Vegas water park. I was sliding down one of the rides there and slammed into the water. The next thing I know is that all these guys are staring at me laughing. I have no idea what's going on until I look down. One of my girls had come out of my swimsuit and was just hanging there for the whole world to see. I was mortified. Luckily, though, my dad didn't see.
Um...my best embarrassing moment cannot really be shared in this public forum...because it is THAT bad! My more soft core one was in beauty school...
ReplyDeleteA little old blue haired lady comes in for a perm. I oblige and she is processing at the moment. She excuses herself to the bathroom. In the meantime...my instructor runs up to me laughing and says, "Camille, you will never guess what happened in the bathroom. It's the sickest thing I've ever seen. Someone tried to hover over the seatie and they had the runs and it exploded all over the back of the toilet. Come look." So, we get a whole group of us together to check out the crime scene. I walk up to the bathroom door and kick it open Karate style and who should be hovering over the previous hoverers mess? My poor little blue hair. I have never been so mortified...even though that probably qualifies more as her most embarassing moment than mine but I will still never forget it :)
(After that, now you are REALLY curious what my BAD one was, huh?)
So I can't think of any embarassing moments that are actually funny to anyone but me...
ReplyDeleteI can think of one from a book though. It's from the end of Frannie in Pieces by Delia Ephron. A guy she likes kisses her, and she says thank you... in Italian. :P
That's an okay-ish one... I guess.
I think you should have just let the sucker play. And not just in the grocery store. Your iphone could let you walk around with your own personal life soundtrack! Just imagine... you're running late for something, and you're sprinting there to the music from Mission Impossible or something. You'd look AND sound cool!
ReplyDeleteBy the way, what was the song?
At work this week I made a plane reservation for my boss. It was a great flight--I proudly put it on his desk. Ten minutes later he calls me and tells me I've made the plane reservation with his first name and my last name. I don't even want to go into the Freudian nature of that mistake!
ReplyDeleteThe lady at Delta Airlines thought it was HILARIOUS though!
Wow. Sorry I've been out of commission. Thanks for sharing everyone. I wondered if this one would be too tough!
ReplyDeleteSam- I seem to remember a time when you were badmouthing someone, and that particular someone called, and Carter answered the phone (as a toddler) and brought it into the room where you were badmouthing that particular person, and neither of us realized the phone was on, connected to that exact person...
That wasn't embarrassing?
Kim- of course you are entered.
Jenni- one of the twins escaped? That is hilarious. Well, now it is. Then, it probably sucked.
Cam- that was so bad. Poor woman! Can you email me the other one?
Hannah- that's a great one! I love feeling embarrassment for a character in a book.
Matt- you crack me up! I can just imagine walking into Parent Teacher conferences, with Eye of the Tiger as my background music.
Eden- that is just plain awesome. So so funny!
Oh gosh, that's so funny! I want to know what song it was too!
ReplyDeleteMy most embarrassing moment was in college. I was late to a class and carrying a plate full of cupcakes to one of those "right before your final's we'll make you bring treats & be social" days. In a busy area of campus I was walking up some stairs and tripped. So, in slow motion I'm falling but all I can think about is saving these cupcakes. I belly flopped onto the ground sprawled in front of everyone.I had been so focused on making sure my treats didn't fall I didn't realize my skirt had flown up & was up by my elbows. So, there I was with my lovely pantie clad bum hanging out there for everyone to enjoy. But I didn't manage to save the cupcakes.
All that, and you didn't save the cupcakes? I bet you laughed, though, right?
ReplyDeleteThe song was Bleed it Out by Linkin Park.
I'm embarrassing enough by myself, but my kids like to help me out. I was holding my cute little 18-month-old while waiting for my first-grader to come out of class, and another waiting mom tried to get the baby to say something. Big mistake. He's the youngest of five. His answer, loud and clear: "You passed gas!"
ReplyDeleteElena- Too funny! Yeah, kids are always a good source for embarrassment. My sister's kid, when he was like 18 months, he dropped a plate at my mom's house, and he kept saying, "Oh sit. Oh sit."
ReplyDeleteHe lives with my sister. We figured out what he was saying, and it wasn't about sitting.
Once we took my kids to an touring broadway act and during intermission, my four year old was getting her wiggles out, walking the aisle. I let her get a little too far, and I was about to go catch her when she decided it would be fun to explore the stage. She was center stage entertaining hundreds of people before I caught her. Everyone got a good laugh at our expense. And here in Rexburg, you can't go anywhere with out knowing several people, so I couldn't even embarrass myself in anonymity.
ReplyDeleteKim- that is great. Personally, I'm always entertained when a kid escapes, and makes it on stage. Thanks for sharing!
ReplyDeleteWow, there are a lot of doozies on here. Okay, so when I was in high school and my sis was in jr high, we went clothes shopping with our mom at JC Penney. We were trying on the whole store of course, so my mom was constantly in and out getting different sizes and finding new things. So. When I heard a light knock on the door I stood behind it and opened it right up, thinking my mother would pop in and close it behind her. My sister stood shocked, in bra and panties and screamed at me for a few seconds before I figured out I had exposed her to a clerk and a man (we happened to be in the dressing rooms in the men's section!). :D
ReplyDeleteAlysa- I love embarrassing stories that happen to a sibling, and not to yourself. Those are the best kind!
ReplyDeleteI don't actually remember this... but I think I blocked it out because of the trauma. But everyone else who saw it remembers it. I was 6 years old and in first grade. Supposedly, this boy glued me to my chair, or at least tried to do it by leaving out a puddle of glue. And I sat in it.
ReplyDeleteI'm going to congratulate Kim now...
paradoxrevealed (at) aim (dot) com
Paradox- I only wish I could block out all of my mishaps. I would totally block out that time in 2nd grade when I sneezed during class, and a big boogie landed on my desk...
ReplyDeleteI dont know if I would have been that quick in figuring it out. I would have either a) thought the lady was jealous of my nice looking bottom or b) been ashamed that she was scowling at my large looking bottom. Thats so dang funny!
ReplyDeleteAn embarrassing moment for me...When I was 11 I was giving a talk in church to the other kids. I got to sit up on the stand so when it was my turn to speak I just had to stand up and walk forward to the pulpit. I did my thing and then returned to my seat. The gal next to me leaned over and told me I had my skirt tucked into my tights.
Gosh, the most embarrassing moment (that I haven't suppressed the memory) is not nearly as funny as these. I was at a dance back when I was 14 or so and was dancing with a guy I liked. He said something funny, I laughed (a little too hard) and he ended up with my gum on his face. Yeah, I don't think he liked me much after that.
ReplyDeleteDebbie- So funny. Like the time I went to sixth grade wearing white shorts. At the end of the day, my best friend told me she could see my red-stars underwear through my shorts.
ReplyDeleteMelissa- that is so funny! Better than spitting food, or worse, a booger.
Hey, Brodi. I just wrote about my big blunder for the year over at my blog (http://thesplinteredmind.blogspot.com/2009/06/easy-as-awry-my-adhd-filled-disaster.html). It involves a contract negotiation and an embarrassing absentminded moment.
ReplyDeleteI also replied to the comment you left last month. Hey, it’s only been a month. That’s rapid for me.
Loved your story, btw. Classic moment. You had me laughing out loud. In fact, you inspired me to write what I did today. Thanks.
Part of the problem of being too skinny is that it's tough to find swimsuits that are tight enough (I get the smallest size and it's still loose). I didn't realize how important a tight swimsuit is until this summer at the pool when our frisbee went up on the side. I put my palms on the edge and jumped up, and by the time I locked my elbows (up in the air) I realized my swim bottoms had stayed in the water. But my elbows were locked, so it took WAY too long to get back down and retrieve the bottoms!
ReplyDeleteAnd the pool was crowded that day.
And there was a young, male lifeguard right in front of me.
I'm ridiculous enough, though, that I'm just happy to have a good embarrassing moment story to tell! I went 27 years without one.
Doug- thanks for sharing! I've been known to press "send" before I'm ready too. Then I'm yelling at the computer, trying to snatch my email back. It never works.
ReplyDeleteNikki- how did you make it 27 years without an embarrassing story? I average at least one a week.
Oh, I've embarrassed myself lots of times, but none of those times made a good enough story. Most of mine are episodes like when I was talking to my class about punctuation and said that English teachers know where to stick things. My advice: avoid undefined usage of words like "it" or "thing" in front of students.
ReplyDeleteBoy, I'm having to really sweep the cobwebs out to think of one. I try too hard to forget them all. Next embarrassing moment I have I'm going to label "My Embarrassing Moment Story" and remember it forever for occasions like this...
ReplyDeleteOk, I thought of one. When I was in 5th grade a friend and I were riding our bikes around school (on a Saturday) and we ran across some other jerky kids riding their bikes. One of them teased me about something (can't remember) and I got mad and started chasing this kid on my bike. If I was smart, I would've pulled up next to the kid and reached over and punched him in the face, all Mission Impossible style. My actual plan was to "trip" him by hitting his back tire with my front tire. My actual experience was that the tire-to-tire contact did nothing to his bike, but caused me to fly over my handlebars and land sprawled out on the blacktop like an idiot, warranting more gaffaws. Live and learn. I have never tried to "trip" someone on a bike ever since.
Brodi - doing some back reading on comments. Saw Olivia's invite to you. Are you going to the Thursday midnight New Moon showing in November? So are me and my mom. She's crashing at my house after so she doesn't have to drive alone at 3am. You are more than welcome to drive with us from Lehi and/or crash at my house too if you want. Keep it in mind.
ReplyDeleteNikki- I always say stuff like that. Every time I say encourage someone by saying, "You can do it," I always find the need to follow it up with, "And by 'it' I of course mean..."
ReplyDeleteThey always look at me like "duh, I know."
Heidi- That is so me. If I ever tried to pull a mission impossible on someone, it would definitely lead to road rash.
I am going to Olivia's theater. I was just gonna get a hotel room, but maybe I'll take you up on your offer, if you're serious.
I snore.
I'm afraid that I can't think of any of my own embarrassing moments, but I can remember when I have been embarrassing to others, including my mom.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was young, it was my turn to read a scripture in church. When my mom asked, I told her that I had prepared something all by myself. She didn't question me... she should have. During the meeting I proudly walked up in front of all the other children and read Genesis 39:7-10. I then proudly walked back to my seat and sat. Some teachers were shocked, but a lot were muffling laughter. I think that I must have gotten this reference from "Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat." Actually I think my mom may have been more amused than embarrassed.
Becky- Thanks for sharing, and for teaching me never to leave the scripture choice up to my kids!
ReplyDeleteBrodi- I have to admit that I'm a secret admirer. When I want a really good laugh I read your blog and find myself in a roar. Well, tonight is no different. I'm sitting by Jake right now telling him of your incident at the grocery store. He loved it! You are pure delight! Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteBecky- Thanks so much for reading!
ReplyDeleteStink! I forgot about Free Book Friday! But hey, speaking of stinks, did you ever figure out what's going on in your laundry room? I've had the same problem and we determined it was stagnet water in the drain, or in the pipe that goes to the drain or something...somewhere water gets trapped and then gets that dead rat smell you are talking about.
ReplyDeleteAnd I agree with Kim, Janette Rallison books are GREAT ones for some way funny embarrassing moments.
I poured bleach down the drain, just in case. Do you think that'll help?
ReplyDelete