Kid C came home from school with his shirt off. Tried to convince me Mondays were “Naked Day” at school.
Biggest Brain Dead Moment:
I had to read this headline from the newspaper about 100 times before the sentence sounded right.
“Gmail Outage Deprives Millions of Email”
Anyone else?
One More Notch in the Longest 25 Things About Me Tag in the World.
Since we have a lot of new blog readers, I thought we should make some headway in the “Longest 25 Things about me Tag in the History of the World.”
We are on #17. Here’s a recap for the newbies. (I’ve never consolidated the list before. Looking at it, I wonder why I even bother.)
1-16:
1. I'm a girl.
2. I'm a dork
3. I skipped this one, because I had to brush my teeth.
4. I skipped this one, because I was coming back from brushing my teeth.
5. I beat up Sam in his sleep.
6. Wooo Hoo! Only 845 more to go!
7. I pee, like, 15 times before I go to bed.
8. I'm a hypochondriac.
9. Really, number 8 should count for two, because it's such a big part of my life.
10. I have a very paranoid relationship with food in my fridge.
I found this meat in my freezer on Monday. Date: November 2005. 2005. 2005. 11. I talk to signs. I get angry at them.
12. Ummm…
13. Walked out of “I love you, Man” because I was offended. Saw “Watchmen” instead.
14. Spring forward to #15, for daylight savings.
15. Let me know if we’re in a fight. Otherwise, I’ll never know.
16. I like to drain pus.
Wow. Lame.
Observations from the list so far:
a. I’m not very likable.
b. I’m not very creative.
c. I’m incredibly lazy.
d. I’m kinda gross.
Moving on…
Thing about me #17
My brain is unable to process things, like details.
I know some of you are thinking, “If it can’t process details, WTH does it do?” Which is a very good question. One for a later post.
My friends know this about me, and often say things like, “Don’t worry, I’ll send you an email about it later.”
Segue: Anywho, my good friend Cath has 5 kids ages 4 and under.
Let me repeat. FIVE KIDS ages FOUR AND UNDER!
This wrinkle in the universe was made possible by two sets of twins (2 year olds and newborns).
I’ve been meaning to do something for her for like, forever. But I suck. So after three months of prompting myself, I finally made the effort.
I decided to go to Costco, and pick up whatever she needed. Because I can always find something I need at Costco.
I stopped by, and she told me she needed bacon. Because what young mother doesn’t?
I go to Costco. Find a few baubles for myself. Two hundred dollars later, I’m on my way back to Cath’s house.
2 blocks away, as I’m twisting around so I can pat myself on the back, I make a sinking realization.
No bacon.
All she asked for was bacon. I went to Costco specifically to get the bacon for her. Spent 200 dollars. Forgot the Rakkin Frakkin bacon!
I would’ve gone back, but my warped psyche will not allow me to go shopping twice in one day. (That should totally be #18. I hate shopping!)
Sorry, Cath. We’ll try it again next week, shall we?
Friday Preview: I have way too many books, most of them autographed. So, starting Friday, we will have weekly blog contests. Stay tuned!
I think I have the same problem as you do, except I call it "Mommy brain."
ReplyDeleteI used to be fairly intelligent (if I do say so myself). Since having a baby, my brain has turned to mush. I think the problem is this: as a mom, your brain is required to multitask at all times. Then, in those rare times you have a single task on which to focus (such as "get bacon from Costco"), your brain doesn't know how to handle it. It multitasks of its own accord and, as a consequence, forgets the one task you actually need to complete.
I constantly have a mind full of unfinished tasks because my brain prevents me from focusing on one long enough to finish it.
You better have not thrown away that meat. Meat only improves with age. If that meat was thrown away, a small part of me just died. Few things can drive me to tears and thrown away meat is right up there.
ReplyDeleteAnd Bro, you are very likable and lovable.
Jessica- Exactly. Mommy brain. I function much better when I have too many things to think about, than when I just have one. Know what I mean?
ReplyDeleteSam- The meat is gone. But I think it's still in the trash can, if you want a few moments to say your goodbyes.
ReplyDeleteI totally get all of #17 and could say ditto for myself. Today on the way to preschool I realized we'd forgotten my son's school bag. He said, "We should turn around and get it." I said, "No, I'll bring it when I pick you up." Also, I told myself, "It's a new month; you're going to forget to bring your checkbook when you pick him up, so you should do it now." Is it even necessary to write the end of this story? No bag, and the Sept payment will have to wait until Friday.
ReplyDeleteNikki- That sounds like my life. At least you remembered that you would forget your checkbook. That's gotta be one step closer to actually remembering your checkbook.
ReplyDeleteThe shopping thing must totally be in our genes...I would not be able to go back, either. This may be why several of my current "favorite" shirts actually have holes showing up in them. I. Hate. Shopping.
ReplyDeleteMe too! Me Too! Hate hate hate shopping. Especially for clothes for myself. I feel like I'm the only girl in the world who hates it, so I'm happy to meet another one.
ReplyDeleteI told Sam that's why we never have to budget. Because I simply refuse to go shopping.
Is this reasoning sound?
Woo Hoo, weekly blog contests, yay!
ReplyDeleteSam - I would think that meat from Nov. 2005 would be freezer burned. Or do you prefer it that way?
Ha, I am so with you Brodi, I hate shopping, it's just that necessary evil. I clothing shop at most once a year only when I actually MUST have clothes. And braving Costco...I only go there once a month, more than that and I get twitchy. People are so pushy there, I don't get it. It's like every time I'm in Trader Joe's, all the brain dead people are shopping... you know they just walk into or block isles while standing there drooling and staring at some random item on the shelf. Maybe they are zombies?
a. You're extremely likable.
ReplyDeleteb. Your blog reeks of creativity! Heck, you reek of creativity!
c. Eh, who isn't?
d. I am too. Case in point, I like to pick zits. I used to "attack" my husband all the time before he finally told me I wasn't allowed anymore. The funny thing is that I hated it when my mom did this to me when I was a teenager. My husband thinks I'm a sadist.
So, moral of the story:
"You're good enough. You're smart enough. And, doggonit, people like you!"
Una- your comment reminds me of the beginning of Shaun of the Dead. You've seen it, right? Zombies are taking over the world, and no one notices.
ReplyDeleteI miss Trader Joes.
Jenni- Thanks, girlfriend. Although does "reeking of creativity" mean I smell funny?
Sadly, I haven't seen Shaun of the Dead, I must add that to my netflix list.
ReplyDeleteAs I was typing the "reeking of creativity" part, I was wondering if it would come across as you smelling funny. I need to use better descriptive words. Ha! In my experience, you don't smell funny.
ReplyDeleteShaun of the Dead is hilarious! Corey and I quote that movie all the time. So funny! Every time I hear "Don't Stop Me Now," I think of Sean and his buddies bashing zombies' heads in time. Awesome!
okay, some of those things are simply hilarious.
ReplyDeleteAnd a few of them were pretty gross.
But that's kind of funny too.
Una- you must!
ReplyDeleteJenni- actually, if creativity did smell, it would smell funny. I love the part in Shaun when he denies being Eds boyfriend, and then when Ed hands him a beer Shaun winks and says "thanks babe". So funny!
Tamara- hopefully the funny outweighs the gross!
All I have to say is that I can't tell you how many times I have gotten in the car, driven out of the driveway and can't remember where I was supposed to be going. What is up with that?! I couldn't even remember that I went to Scottland for goodness sakes! I really hope that my memory doesn[t get worse as I get older. I need to start doing brain training...like soduku (or whatever it is).
ReplyDeleteErin- You've been to Scotland? I'm so angry jealous. How come you get to go on all the cool trips? It's so unfair! Life is so unfair!
ReplyDeleteOh, wait. Didn't we go to Scotland together? Nevermind.
This comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDeleteOK Brod (and the rest of you) - here's the true story Brodi neglects to tell in full. She DID remember the Kirkland paper towels I requested. We were completely out and the need was dire! She came through as hero! The bacon? It could wait. (Thanks Sam for picking it up on your way home from work!)
ReplyDeleteBut because Brodi forgot the bacon - she was able to bring it by in the midst of our evening madness (via bike - how did you carry that thing while riding your bike?) and deliver something more urgent - an extra pair of hands! She held a baby, bottle-fed with me, picked up my toddler who fell out of her crib, and changed a diaper! Here's the truth folks. Brodi IS a hypochondriac, she DOES like to drain pus, but don't be fooled, she's very likable and one of the most compassionate people I know. Thanks for all your help Brodi!
PS - Shall I mention yet one more brain dead moment? You left your sunglasses here. (I'll drop them by if I can get out of the house!)
Sorry I deleted my first comment. When I read it back to myself it didn’t sound grammatically correct. It’s intimidating to leave a comment on a blog that will be read by someone who knows how to write. Anyways, maybe “Naked Mondays” aren’t such a bad idea. It would save time shopping for both clothing and food. Because, if I’m going naked on Mondays, I’m not eating another thing!
ReplyDeleteAw, Cath. Thanks, Chica. You always did see the good in me.
ReplyDeleteKaren- What makes you think I can write? And thanks for showing me the benefit of naked mondays: Good diet tool, and no need for fashion sense. It might just be worth it.
SNORT! i always do that at the store, well--go shopping for ME and forget what i went for. (i have YET to drop $200 at one time at Costco)
ReplyDeleteSOOOOOOOOOOOO glad i am not the only one.
p.s. try writing a note to yourself on your hands...my kids tell me that ALWAYS works!
ReplyDeleteAnd I never wash my hands, so I'll try it!
ReplyDeleteYou're recap is almost as similarly funny as the original. Although I'd encourage your newbie readers to go find those posts, cause they're funny!
ReplyDeleteOh good it sounds like a family trait. I hate shopping too! Hate it. Seriously.
Like Jenni every time I hear that song Don't Stop Me Now my hubby and I act out the fighting scene in the bar. Not all of it. Just the slow, on the beat punching. It cracks me up!
Debbie- I also love it when he is demonstrating how to fight the zombies, and he hits himself on the head.
ReplyDeleteOkay, it's funnier if you watch it.
Here's the original post of the first 11 things about me. http://brodiashton.blogspot.com/2009/02/and-this-is-why-nobody-in-their-right.html
Brodi - you never wash your hands? I've found a good substitute for washing your hands is just letting a dog lick them. They have less germs in their mouth..right?
ReplyDeleteUna- you are correct. I would so much rather adopt a dog than waste one more second running my hands under soap and water. Thanks!
ReplyDelete