Howdy, y'all!
I'm out, I'm awake, and my heart is whole again. Yay.
Here's the rundown of the high points from my hospital vacay:
1. The Male Nurse Brigade
I had an inordinate number of male nurses. Which is totally fine. Totally. Except in the pre-op when one male nurse is... um... preparing my... um... nether regions, while the other one is asking me how his writer-wife can get an agent, and I'm trying to answer but all I can think about is the man-nurse at my nethers!
Finally I grabbed the IV in my arm, and I was like, "Do I need to be here for this? Can we put that-" *points to "sleep juice"* "-in here?" *points to head*
them: "Um, that's not how it works-"
me: "JUST GIVE ME THE DRUGS!!"
2. Forgetting Serum
The doctor came in afterward to talk to me and Sam, and he told me the drugs he gave me would make it so I wouldn't remember anything he says. I don't know why, but when this happens, I always feel like I have to prove the doctor wrong.
So, he started rehashing the surgery, and I committed every word to memory.
He talked about this:
And this:
I can't wait to tell him his so-called "memory drug" didn't work.
3. Rockin' Support
I had so many visitors and little gifts. The Ballou's brought me an Edward bookmark and Twilight-themed bandaids.
I put a bandaid over my heart... and the bandaid immediately sucked it dry. Weird.
Emily Wing Smith brought me these:
The socks. Not the feet.
The Duffins (Linda, Heidi and Debbie) sent me this:
They named a balloon after me, thus ensuring my legacy would live on forever and ... Oh, wait. It popped.
It's good to be home. I received many other gifts and food, and it made me want to have heart surgery all over again. Thanks y'all for your kind words of support!
So, what's everyone doing this weekend? I think I might see Eclipse. Anyone seen it yet? Any opinions?
*added:
Totally forgot to mention BFF Bree Despain's super blowout giveaway on her blog. She also has a peek at her trailer for The Dark Divine, so go check it out.
*added:
Totally forgot to mention BFF Bree Despain's super blowout giveaway on her blog. She also has a peek at her trailer for The Dark Divine, so go check it out.
So glad everything went well and that the surgery hasn't harmed your sense of humor.
ReplyDeleteI'd hate for male nurses to be working on my nether regions - I'd be begging for the forget everything drugs too.
Thanks Mary! Personally, I think "forgetting drugs" should be a staple in every household.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're out and it went well. Good luck with the whole "quiet writing time" thing. :)
ReplyDeleteHave you read Dave Barry's I'll Mature When I'm Dead?? You really should. One of the sections is "Fangs of Endearment: A Vampire Novel". It's HILARIOUS!
Glad you are back and feeling better!!
ReplyDeleteSo happy everything went well! You look so darn perky in the hospital bed. I look WAY worse when I'm just waking up in my own bed.
ReplyDeleteCongrats on now being UNHOLY!
I'm so glad everything went well! That's something about how your surgery went, and you should totally prove that doctor wrong. ;)
ReplyDeleteThat was nice of your family and "true" friends to go and visit/send gifts to you. Some lousy friend/blog ready I am.
I saw Eclipse. I enjoyed it. My review would take up way too much space in your comments section. So, if you want you can read my review on my blog: http://jennielyse.com/eclipse/.
glad you're feeling better and it went well!
ReplyDeletei personally thought eclipse was the best of the 3....mind you--it IS the twilight series...so expect LOTS of cheese. i'm just sayin'.
my favorite line is when jacob says to edward (something to the effect, since i have not had surgery and STILL have an awful memory) "Well, you know I AM hotter than you anyway!"
ps--i saw edwards movie "dad" on a talk show last night--fwiw--HE is way hotter than edward OR jacob in real life (when he has his real dark hair and regular eyes!)
i have myself a "NEW" edward! ;O)
Britt- I love Dave Barry! I'll have to check it out.
ReplyDeleteCam- Thanks! Have you recovered from your midnight showing?
Olivia- Of course I picked out the absolute most flattering pictures. (Not that any were particularly flattering) But there is a notorious one in the bunch of me looking eerily like a beached whale. That one is headed to the boiler room...
Jenni- If visiting in the hospital defined "true friend", I'd be in trouble. I'm always the friend who, weeks later, says, "Hey, weren't you in the hospital?"
Dorien- Carlisle is a cutie, isn't he? I think he has his own separate fan group. Plus we can feel a little less creepy pining over him than Jacob, right?
So glad everything went well for you! If you remember, it didn't go so well for Bella in New Moon. Only Jacob could 'fix' the hole in her heart. (Of course, she promptly dumped his sorry butt as soon as Edward came back.) You're not going to do that to Sam, are ya?
ReplyDeleteAs for Eclipse, it is BY FAR the best one yet. Leave it to David Spade, a horror flick director, to FINALLY get it right. The acting was sooo much better, the CGI's were very much improved and I actually didn't want to smack KStew in the face this time.
I have decided one thing, though. I'm not Team Edward or Team Jacob anymore. I have started my very own Team Paul. (Yummy!)
Well, you can stop worrying that you'd lose your sense of humor along with your mini-strokes. Just FYI.
ReplyDeleteIf I was in Utah, I'd love to go with you to Eclipse. I haven't seen it yet, which is making me feel very behind.
I haven't seen Eclipse, since I spent the week in a cabin with 11 teenage girls. And, as I was too cruel to let them call home to find out if the movie was good (which they asked to do), I don't really have an opinion on it. You'll have to see it and give us your review of it--you always have the best movie reviews. So, please, go see it and tell me how it is.
ReplyDeleteHurrah! No more hole! And no more surgeries! Right?? (Unless the idea of cooking again makes you do something drastic.) And look at all that support. Sweet pic of the Ballou family - they love you! Looking forward to your break-down of Eclipse.
ReplyDeleteGlad you're healthy and clean-shaven. Can't wait to see you tonight.
ReplyDeleteNicole- I didn't know it was an option to have Jacob fix the hole in my heart. I demand a redo!
ReplyDeleteRobin- Wish you were coming tonight!
Jenilyn- Wow, that weekend sounds like you starred in your very own horror flick...
Cath- The Ballou's are such good folk, aren't they? I will dedicate my Eclipse review to you!
Valynne- Oh, how I'm clean-shaven.
Yay! We are glad to have you healthy and that all unnecessary holes are gone!
ReplyDeleteI'm so glad you are on the mend! Too bad those memory drugs didn't work, I'm not sure I want to remember all the anatomy of a horse.
ReplyDeleteI continue to keep you in my prayers as you heal!
Happy 4th everyone!
Lulabell- yes, thankfully I kept the necessary holes. Although Sam asked the doc if we could plug my piehole next time...
ReplyDeleteUna- Happy 4th to you too!
Hi, Brodi. I was looking at your FB page & realized we share the same bday and our closures were a day apart! I'm having the same great recovery as you. Good to hear you are doing so well also =)
ReplyDeleteJulie- We have so much in common! I hope you're back to normal today, and feeling great. Thanks for commenting!
ReplyDeleteHey check you out, you're alive! I hope while you were at the hospital they ordered you to not move and brought you meals in bed. Thats my favorite things about hospitals. I wish I could check in there like I would a hotel.
ReplyDelete