Taking a page from my sister author Bree’s blog, here are the top five things I’ve learned from the revision process:
1. Less is more. (I have a twenty page blog coming on this particular subject. Suffice it to say, that had it not been for the original superfluosity of my manuscript in the first place, especially in the wordy penultimate chapter, it would have been sufficiently—oh nevermind).
2. Try not to name three (count them three) characters in your book the same name: Joey. Thankfully I caught this right before I sent it off.
3. Do not, under any circumstances, second guess yourself. Scratch that, on second thought maybe I shouldn’t have said that. In fact, I probably shouldn’t have listed five things, it should have been four things. Actually, I’m such a crappy writer, I shouldn’t have started a blog in the first place. I don’t even deserve to have internet access. Did someone just say I’m fat?
4. Do not give your fabulous agent a catchy nickname like Sherpa Ted.
5. A. After you’ve crossed all of your T’s, and dotted all of your I’s, and perfected your manuscript, do not send it to Sherpa Ted in a miniature format. I mean, literally, a miniature picture of the book, so small it is not legible.
Here’s what it looked like when he opened it.
I use this version to get an overview of chapter lengths, and to find any blank pages that may have appeared because of revisions.
B. In a similar vein, when Ted emails back, requesting a “legible” version of the book, do not send him the EXACT SAME MINIATURE VERSION again, telling him you're not usually such a dork, and it won't happen again...
Now to see if Ted likes the new version... Mwah hah hah (evil laugh)
Cool! Now I can borrow my son's magnifying glass and read the first half of your book online.
ReplyDeleteCan't wait to read the real thing!
Haha! I have had that I can't write/I am fat feeling more than a few times. ;-) Did Mike get in touch with you for dinner planning? Any night (but Thurs.) would be fine for us. I am excited to meet you!
ReplyDeleteKarin- Just make sure you have excedrin nearby for the inevitable migraine!
ReplyDeleteKeersten- would love dinner. As long as you cook. (You will soon know my cooking skills are lacking!)
I laughed so hard reading this that tears came out of my eyes. Unfortunately, I found it so hilarious because I can totally relate. Except for sending a miniaturized version of my manuscript . . .I mean, who does that? Certainly not someone whose brain NEVER malfunctions.
ReplyDeleteI always love to read your take on things. Too funny.
ReplyDeletePS- You're not fat.
I love your blog and yes, you should have internet access and keep writing. You are so not fat --maybe the questions/comments should be about cooking =) Are you your Mother's daughter?
ReplyDeletetwo words:
ReplyDeletenot fat
two more:
great writer
and TWO more:
nuff said!
xo
dorien
I didn't even know that you could do that. How fun to tease your agent like that.
ReplyDeleteThat made me laugh! So unlike you! You know how I love it when you make a mistake, it so rarely happens, my brainy friend.
ReplyDeleteLove,
Amy