Yesterday was a day at the pool. I'm a freak about sunblock, and I remembered 50 spf for 85 little children (okay there were only two, but at a pool, it feels like 85). But I forgot about me. Considering I have skin that rivals the whiteness of the legs on The Dark Divine, I am as red as a diaper rash, and I feel like I have the flu.
My anniversary is coming up on Friday, and I'm blogging about it now so I don't forget. I have a tendency to forget stuff like anniversaries, birthdays, children in general- especially mine, appointments... grass... table... where was I? Was I just typing random words? Sorry about that.
Oh yeah. My anniversary. Sam never forgets the day. Probably like a veteran never forgets Normandy.
To celebrate the occasion, I will share with you some weird date stories from my pre-Sam days.
WORST DATE EVER
I won't name names, because Bill would be upset. I don't even have to give details. Just two little facts, and you'll understand.
1. Carriage Ride.
2. Food Poisoning.
I'm betting the carriage driver has never been asked since to "pull over" so many times in one ride. It broke all kinds of records. I assume it was the worst date for Bill too. WEIRDEST REPLACEMENT FOR FLOWERS
Another boy, Bill, came to my door one evening bearing a gift. Only instead of something traditional, like flowers, he brought me a Trapper Keeper. Do any of you children of the 80's remember Trapper Keepers?
I want to know the marketing pitch session for those: "So, imagine a super-folder. Only it snaps shut with a velcro strip. And on the front are pictures of unicorns and crap like that. The kids are gonna love 'em! We'll be millionaires... because folders are radical."
GROSSEST GROSS OUT DATE
I don't know if this was to impress me, or what, but my date Bill threaded a piece of string up his nose and then pulled the end out through his mouth.
Two years later we were married.
Totally kidding.
You can see why Sam didn't have to do much to impress me.
Anyone else care to share?
Wow, I don't think I can top any of those dating stories. How awful!
ReplyDeleteGood luck on the anniversary and congrats! I have the worst time trying to find an anniversary gift for hubby. Usually, I am able to convince him, "Let's just get cards for each other and go out to dinner." Yay...less shopping!
FWIW, not meaning to correct my beautiful wife who is rarely if ever wrong, but our anniversary is NOT on Friday, June 26th. Our anniversary is on Thursday, June 25th. Not that it is that important of a date, but I am just saying...
ReplyDeleteWe had made plans on going out on Friday, June 26th...but that is NOT our anniversary date. I just wanted to pass it along as a subtle (I am being subtle, aren't I?) reminder to my gorgeous wife that our actual anniversary is on June 25th.
June 25.
June 25.
11 years.
June 25.
Una- I'm all for dinner andnothing else. Especiallyif that dinner involves fondue.
ReplyDeleteSam- how did I do that again? And are we just supposed to take your word for it that our anniversary is not on Friday?
Brodi, love your writing and your wittiness. I so wish I could write a novel; instead i just write columns. :)
ReplyDeleteMy worst date was we sat down, ordered drinks, and he proceeded to tell me he was addicted to porn. I hadn't even gotten my Diet Coke yet!!! I then had the longest three hours of my life as I played therapist, weeping (from him) and all.
Congrats on the anniversary and, from what I can tell, a fabulous marriage. Glad you found someone who treats you well. :)
Okay Joanna, addictions to porn aren't funny, but your comment made me lol. (and I'm in a library. ) You gotta love those "therapy" dates. Thanks for sharing. So did you guys make it through the movie?
ReplyDeleteWow, Brodi your wedding anniversary is the same as my parents! Congrats. And don't worry, I, for twenty years, thought my parents' anniversary was June 24th!
ReplyDeleteSam - she's only a day off, that's better than completely forgetting, right?
Thanks for standing up for me. And it's not like I forgot or anything. I just remembered it wrong. That counts for something, right?
ReplyDeleteOh trapper keepers...
ReplyDeleteI had one with a kitty on it.
For the oddest I-swear-I'm-not-a-stalker reason, your anniversary is on my email calendar. And yes, Sam's right, it is tomorrow. I wonder if that goes all the way back to London days... Why in the world would I have your anniversary on my cal? Seriously, please tell me.
ReplyDeleteps... I wasn't rich enough for a Trapper Keeper. I used those classic Pee-Chee's.
ReplyDeleteFor those way too young, way too rich, or who lived in the eastern US: http://studionebula.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2007/07/peechee3.jpg
I can't think of a bad date--I'm rackin' my brain, but if I can't remember yesterday, HOW CAN I REMEMBER 45 YEARS AGO!!! Congrats on 11 years....I love your husband, after all he's married to you and I mean that in a good way....
ReplyDeleteOlivia- You're lucky it was kitties. I always got stuck with the ones that were on sale, with pictures of 'flags around the world' or other educational stuff like that.
ReplyDeleteKent- My anniversary has been on your calendar for 8 years? Then, why in the heck didn't you remind me? p.s. I had friends with Pee-Chee's. They hung around in the back parking lot, near the dumpsters.
Deanna- My memory sucks (as evidenced by this post.) In fact, I'm not sure if any of the mentioned dates actually happened to me.
Okay, swimming was way fun yesterday but my back is totally burned too. I was able to get sunscreen on the upper part of my back but couldn't get the bottom part, so it totally got fried. "2 words: skin cancer".
ReplyDeleteCongrats on your anniversary! All I remember is that I was fat and pregnant on your wedding day. So glad mom decided to blow that wedding picture up and hang in her living room. Thanks mom!
Erin- Mom always liked me better.
ReplyDeleteThose are pretty great bad dates. One comes to my mind. He took me out to eat at Red Lobster-I hate seafood but I had a salad or something. Then we're in the car sitting in the parking lot and he turns to look out his rolled down window and threw up. Uhm ewww.
ReplyDeleteHappy Anniversary! I guess it's ok if you forget as long as you celebrate at some point right. I'm all about celebrating.
You crack me up girlfriend. Do they still sell trapper-keepers?
ReplyDeleteDebbie- Gross. That just confirmed my fear and loathing of Red Lobster.
ReplyDeleteLis- I hope so. It would make the coolest anniversary gift for Sam!
Happy Anniversary Brodi and Sam!! Hope you get each other a nice card and have a wonderful dinner tonight! Err...or Friday. =)
ReplyDeleteFastest way to end a date...barf. Preferably on the bad date.
Thanks Una! Hopefully I won't end tonight's date that way.
ReplyDelete