Kid C Makes his Straightest Line Yet... and Does anyone know how to quit a Good 'N Plenty Habit?

Happy Monday. Anyone do anything fun over the weekend?

1. A Couple Contests

F.O.B. Cranberry Fries is hosting a Free Business Cards Giveaway. To enter, all you have to do is leave a comment.

Doug Cootey is instigating his own Free Book Fridays on his blog. Again, to enter, comment.

2. Sam brought out the Happenings Book on Friday, so I knew we were in for a treat, and I could've bet my left pinky toe the cuisine would be along the lines of Indian and Pakistani. (When Sam splurges, as he does on Happenings Book Fridays, it's always about the curry.)

We ordered from Himalayan Kitchen downtown, and we were a bit early, so Sam asked if we could stop by that Smith's on 500 South, 500 East which, for all of you non Salt-Lakers, means a very interesting crowd.

I didn't want to stop, because I'm the sort of person where if I've walked out of my house, and just locked the door, and I'm going to lunch, and I realize I left my purse inside, I won't bother to unlock the door again and walk inside to get the purse.

Yes, I'm that lazy, and I'm that impatient.

So I had no desire to go shopping. But Sam lured me in by saying we were out of Good 'N Plenty, and he wanted to restock. (I'm having a real problem with Good 'N Plenty lately. It's black licorice, covered in a candy shell, and it's been around since probably the 30's, and it's an acquired taste, but once you do acquire it, it's like crack. I have to have Good 'N Plenty. I don't even like it anymore. But I have to gnaw on the outer candy shell, until there's just the black licorice left, then I bite it lengthwise, and continue the process until it's gone.)

Seriously, does someone know of some sort of chemical in black licorice that turns me into a skanky-lookin' crack chick? Maybe it's more like tobacco, because I stick a bunch in my cheek, and chaw on it during church, so I don't have to constantly bring a new one up to my lips. Cuz that would be embarrassing. The inside of my cheek actually looks like a pizza burn.

Where was I? Happenings Book, Himalayan Kitchen, white-trash Smith's, skanky-lookin crack chick... oh yeah.

So, I'm waiting in the car with Kid C and Kid B, looking around at all the lonely people, judging, I must admit.

When suddenly, Kid B screams to be let out of the car. I finally let him out into the parking lot, and he starts lowering his pants and undoing his diaper. Yes, it was that kind of diaper.

Those of you who know me know that if Sam is in a 2 mile radius of a diaper, I defer to him to change it. (He is after all the man of the house, and I would hate to take away any duties.)

So I'm all: "No no. put it back on. let's run inside and find Sam."

We run inside, with Kid B's bum coverage leaving a little to be desired. We call to Sam. Meanwhile, Kid C clamps a hand over his crotch, saying, "I have to go pee, now!"

We find Sam, pay for the stuff, and all make it back to the car, where Sam proceeds to take care of Kid B's diaper right next to the car. Kid C disappears for a minute.

Finally, we're ready to go.

Me: "Kid C, do you still have to potty?"

Kid C: "Nope."

We pull out, and I see this.

Yep, that's just about Kid C pee-stream height.

me (pointing to the wall): "Kid C, did you do that?"

Kid C: "I tried to make a straight line, Brodi. Really I tried."

Good 'N Plenty Crack chick, running through the Smith's with one kid whose diaper is half-on, half-off, the other kid yelling about going pee, changing a diaper in the asphalt of the parking lot, with other kid peeing on the wall, and then all of us taking off under the exhaust cloud of shame.

It's a good thing we didn't stay long in the white trash Smith's, considering we were apparently the only white trash there.

Not only that, Sam forgot the Good 'N Plenty. Anyone out there have a source?

Oh well. It might be time to kick the habit.

Anyone out there have a pee-on-the-wall kind of day ever? Please tell me I'm not the only one this happens to.