EVERNEATH 2: It's Everneath-ier is officially in copyedits!!! Yay!!!
I often get asked what the revision process is like, especially for the second book. It's hard to describe it, so I compiled a list of every day things you can do to experience the feeling.
1. Give yourself a paper cut. Then take one lemon - the ripest one you can find - and shove it in your eyeball until it reaches your brain. Repeat with a second lemon and your other eye. Ask yourself if the original paper cut was necessary for the progression of the story.
2. Have a baby. Request that the OB-GYN rate the process as it happens. Have him evaluate the pacing of contractions, and mark any spots where he thought the action was "slow", especially any times he was "bored enough to leave the room". After the baby comes out, have him critique the baby's appearance, noting all the blemishes. Then ask him to shove the baby back inside you, with the instruction to “try it again.”
3. Pick your four favorite friends and take them to lunch. Then ask the waiter to listen in on the conversation. At the end of lunch, have the waiter pick his least favorite of your friends. You know, the person who was the most boring or has the fattest thighs or whatever. Then take a gun and shoot that friend dead. You'll notice how much less cluttered the table feels after that.
Okay. I'm off to have lunch with my four favorite friends... wait. They just cancelled. WHY??!!
Yeah... I'm experiencing something like #2 right now. Thanks for the laugh! Currently reading Everneath and in awe that book two is already in copyedits. You're a rockstar!
ReplyDeleteGood luck! The only way out is through! ( I used to want to punch people who told me that)
DeleteHAHAHA I have never had to revise but I can only imagine how nicely this sums it up!
ReplyDeleteLOL This was very timely. I just got my edits for book 2. I am laughing very hard right now. Thanks for that. I needed that. Time to go kill one of my friends.
ReplyDeleteThis is hilarious and a little bit scary :) I so can't wait for this process now lol! Very excited for Everneath 2 BTW.
ReplyDeleteHA! I'm laughing my head off, as always with your blog. :) Yay for the book being in copy edits now, though!
ReplyDeleteThat was awesome! Congrats on having Everneathier in copy edits!
ReplyDeleteHey, if one wanted to order a few, or a whole slew, of those awesome guitar picks from your big night, how would one go about it?
ReplyDeletePerfect! This is the best description of the revision process I've ever come across.
ReplyDeleteOh goodness I am rolling on the floor!: P
ReplyDeleteI'm a YA writer, (and a teen) who is currently in the revision swamp as well. The words SO TRUE came to mind as I read this post!
I think #1 and #2 are tied for favorite.
- Cheyenne Lynnae
cheyennelynnae.com
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Twitter: @CheyenneLynnae
*dies laughing* I loved this post... because it's TRUE!! I'm in this process right now!! Good luck to you. Reading Everneath right now. Loving it.
ReplyDeleteHilarious. If I can sell book one I'll get to experience it myself. Now I know what to look forward to. Thanks for the laugh.
ReplyDeleteYay for copy edits (but not paper cuts with lemon juice in the eyes)!
ReplyDeleteA friend who read Everneath at my suggestion was thrilled to find out there would be an Everneathier. lol
Hah! Hysterical. I think you must be a writer or something! I'd suggest we go to lunch and talk about it, but I think I'm okay if we wait on that a little...
ReplyDeleteOh, Brodie. You speak nothing but truth. Congrats on getting to the "through."
ReplyDeleteMy sons saw me laughing and made me read your post to them. I really don't think they got it at all, but they laughed anyway. (KidC informs me that they DID get it, but I really don't think so.)
ReplyDeleteThey insisted that I tell from them: LOL! Hilarious! I like it! Can you make some more?
i think i'm cancelling all lunches w/you in the near future. i may have the fattest tights and certainly don't want to be shot dead!
ReplyDeleteFUNNY post!!
Wow. Sounds like you've had an eventful time :) I'll be your friend and go to lunch with you. Then you can shoot me dead and put me out of my misery so I don't have to do my own revisions. Deal?
ReplyDeleteHi, Brodi. This is Nancy Parker (now Merrill). Pati told me that you have a book that just got published. How exciting! I also saw that you are doing the Writing for Charity workshop this year. I hope I can come. It would be great to see you again. I hope all is well with you and yours.
ReplyDeleteI thought #1 was bad. Then I read #2. Having had a baby before, I could only hang my head and laugh. Then laugh some more. Then another round of laughter hit me and knocked me to the floor. But I got back up because I needed to finish reading this post, darn it. And you ended it quite appropriately describing that whole, "delete your darling" feeling. Yeah, now about that lunch? I'll certainly join you but I guarantee I'll keep the story moving, provide conflict or at least stick my toe in the conflict and play a part in the conversation because there's no way I'll be the "done-gun darling" lol!!!
ReplyDeleteJust finished Everneath. Loved it to fricken' bits. Came to check out your blog to maybe learn a little more about you--and nearly choked to death on my own laughter thanks to this post.
ReplyDeleteYou, my friend, are a fabulous writer. :)