How We Fooled Kid C... and Now We Worry about his lack of Basic Perception Skills

The other day we surprised Kid C by taking him to Avengers.

I was so excited, because I have this memory of my parents surprising me and my sister by taking us to Return of the Jedi when it was fresh in theaters. (No, I'm not that old. I think I was like, 2.)

But my dad didn't tell his little Star Wars fanatics that they were seeing it. He told us we were at the theater to see High Road to China. 

My sister and I didn't suspect a thing when the line to get in to the movie wrapped around the entire theater. Nor did we become suspicious when when people in that line were dressed like Jawas. (kidding). But when the screen lit up, and those stars showed up, and the music started up, my sister and I got the picture, and we started screaming we were so thrilled.


I wanted to do the same thing with Kid C, but I was worried he'd catch on quickly, because these days the signs are everywhere. And not just cheap letters on a theater marquee. We're talking lifesize posters.


We took him to the theater, and he wasn't suspicious. He's all, "I want to see Avengers!" And we were all, "We're not here to see a movie. Sam just needs to pick up some gift certificates."


We waited in line for the tickets, and when Sam bought them, I distracted Kid C by pointing out how good the popcorn smelled.


Kid C: "Can we get some popcorn?"


me: "Sure!"


We went past the ticket taker, and Sam slipped him our tickets unbeknownst to Kid C, so we could go inside and buy popcorn and an Icee.


After we paid for the stuff, Kid C's all, "Where's dad?"


me: "I think he's meeting someone in Theater six. Let's go check."


We found him, saving us seats on the third row.


Kid C: "What's he doing?"


me: "They're showing a free movie right now."


Kid C: "Which one?"


me: "Um... We Bought a Zoo. Have you seen it?"


Kid C: "Yes. It's sort of boring."


Sam: "Well, they're only showing the first 45 minutes of it. We can leave if you don't like it."


Kid C (reluctantly): "Okay."


The trailers started up. If you've seen the Avengers, you know the trailers shown there would not be shown before We Bought a Zoo. 


Still, nothing.


Finally, the movie began. The packed theater started cheering and clapping. 


Kid C: "Boy, they're excited to see We Bought a Zoo."


The first scene appears. It shows a magical cube called a tesseract. 

Kid C's all, "Hey! That's like in Thor! I wish we could see the Avengers."


Sam and I looked at each other. 


Sam: "Should we tell him?"


me: "If we don't, at this rate I'm not sure he'll get it until the end of the movie."


So, to recap, we drove him to the movie theater, stood in line for tickets, bought tickets, handed them to the ticket taker, bought popcorn and an icee, went into theater 6 "Showing AVENGERS", sat in row three, watched the theater fill up, watched the trailers, watched the first five minutes of the movie... and Kid C never caught on that we were even going to a movie. 


Once we told him our surprise, he freaked out appropriately, but then asked, "Are we only seeing 45 minutes of it? Or the whole thing?"


Either we are incredibly stealthy parents, or... No, that has to be it. We're incredibly stealthy parents.