I told Sam he could write whatever he wanted about living with a deranged writer, and I would publish it without reading it first. (Which, ironically, is what I'm hoping an editor does with my book. Karma baby.)
This is very scary for me.
So, whatever he writes, here are my five responses I would like you to keep in mind.
1. It's not my fault.
2. He knew what he was getting into when we got married.
3. I am right 95% of the time.
4. What does he expect when I hardly ever sleep?
5. I never said I could cook.
Plug them in as needed. Okay, here we go.
From Sam: Living with Brodi is like living with sunlight reflecting off a pool of water. You can cut the calm with a knife...
Okay, okay. That was really me (Brodi).
Here's Sam's real stuff.
Today is your lucky day. You get to hear from the beautiful and talented husband of Brodi...wait, you get to hear from the husband of the beautiful and talented Brodi.
Brodi asked if I ever wanted to write on her blog. I happily agreed. I know that a lot of people are reading her blog and I wanted to give you a little background on the person behind the pen, err, typewriter, err, computer.
For those that know Brodi really well, you know she is not afraid to try something new and different. Pakistan? Sure, pack the bags. Since we have been married, she has done the following for work:
- Anchor/Reporter/Weather Bunny for the NBC affiliate up in Idaho Falls-Jackson Hole-Pocatello: I was her cameraman. I was also known as Mr. or Brother Ashton my entire time up in Idaho.
- Morning Producer for ABC Chanel 4 in Salt Lake City--at the time, the youngest producer in SLC by about10 years. She would leave for work at 11pm and get home at 9am. I would then leave around 9am to go to work. I took a full length pic of me, blew it up and placed it in our kitchen so she would remember what I looked like. She had to leave the job when she ended up getting pneumonia for like 2 months.
- PR and Marketing for IHC: Because she worked, she inadvertently got a co-worker fired. Seriously.
- She got accepted into Medical School...and turned it down: How many people can say that they turned down medical school? She decided to go to London with me and get a masters degree.
- Masters Degree in International Relations from the London School of Economics
- Writer: She had always thought about doing this but finally decided to go for it.
GET A CALENDAR ALREADY...
But I will say that this process has made her a bit scatterbrained. To say the least. Over the past year, she has completely forgotten wedding showers, baby showers and birthdays among other things. Totally forgotten these things until a day or five days later. And just as a reminder to her--our anniversary is on JUNE 25th!!!
WERE WE JUST TALKING?
If it is a stressful time during revisions, then it becomes entertaining as I will have a complete conversation with her only to realize that I have been talking to myself for the past 5 minutes with Brodi gazing out of the window. She is nice though as she asks me for the cliffs notes version of the conversation we just had. As I start to give the cliffs notes version, she tunes out again...so I stop and call my neighbors and have that conversation with them.
THE MOST EXPENSIVE BOOK GIVE-AWAY EVER...
Another example? About a week ago, I was looking on Amazon.com for some new door locks. I found 2 of them that both looked good and I put them in my cart to think about (same locks but different metals used so I was trying to decide if I wanted one of them or neither of them). Then a couple of days later, Brodi had a book giveaway on her blog and she ended up sending off a book to a reader. This very nice reader received the book and let Brodi know that she received it, along with 2 door locks. Yes, the 2 door locks that I had not purchased.
| Item(s) Subtotal: | $281.92 |
| Shipping & Handling: | $0.00 |
| ----- | |
| Total Before Tax: | $281.92 |
| Estimated Tax: | $0.00 |
| ----- | |
| Grand Total: | $281.92 |
HOW DO YOU NOT NOTICE THE PRICE?
You see, when your brain is on overload and you aren't thinking straight, you go to Amazon, order the book, see it in the cart (along with 2 door locks) and decide to ignore it when Amazon.com says that it will charge your credit card: $281.92. You read that correct. This smart beautiful woman ordered a book and decided to click 'Accept Purchase' even after seeing $281.92as the charge. I am not sure what went thru her mind when she saw that--'hmmm, over $200 for that book, well, it is a good book and my dear reader deserves it.' Now, if her own book was not on her mind, she probably would have noticed it...but with it on her mind, we bought this sweet reader $281.92 worth of door locks and a book.
I will say that I have loved having a wife who is a writer. I can handle the time that she spends away working on her book or her latest revisions (days at the bookstore, nights at Little America, Midway, etc.) because I can see how much she loves it even when it makes her nuts.
I also know how good of a writer she is. I know how good of a book she has written. I can't wait to see the future of what she does and I am so happy that she has found a 'job' that she loves even if it makes her crazy (and often me crazy by her craziness).
Sam, the neglected husband of an author
Okay, in my defense, who puts doorknobs in the shopping cart when he doesn't intend to buy them?
ReplyDeleteAnd, at least I made sure the shipping was free...
I loved the door locks, that is hilarious.
ReplyDeleteBrodi - I understand entirely. Sam - it is the joy of living with a creative person. When we are in rapture...you might as well talk to the wall. You might actually get a response. My hubby talks to the dog and cat...he says they are more responsive. =)
$281 for a book - if it's a really good book...yeah. Also...Sam why use Brodi's Amazon account? Don't you have your own?
Una- thank you for the defense. I'm glad you can empathize!
ReplyDeleteUna--We share an amazon account because we love each other so much. And if she ever buys a book for $281, it better not only be a great book but it also better have gold pages.
ReplyDeleteAnd Brodi is right, I should not have left them in the cart...it was slightly nuts of me to think that she would have checked on what she was actually buying before clicking 'Purchase.' I learned my lesson.
What a great husband you have. He's not a bad writer himself. That is pretty funny about the door locks. I could totally see that happening to me, and I'm not even a "creative person" so I have no excuse!
ReplyDeleteColleen- I know. It's a mistake anyone would make, right?
ReplyDeleteSam, you are just as funny as Brodi. I especially liked the story about the locks since I was said reader who received those locks! At first, I thought I had a secret admirer because I wasn't sure who Sam J was. Then, I saw that Sam J was also the one who sent me the book. I'm glad I noticed that, otherwise, I probably would've thought my HOA was sending me new locks and installed them that evening! :)
ReplyDeleteAlso, if you don't want those locks or one of them, my husband told me to tell you that we'll buy them from you now that we've seen them first hand! :)
Jenni- that would be a very fitting ending! Sam's going to email you about it.
ReplyDeleteLoved it Sam! Great to hear from you! It was fun and impressive to read Brodi's resume from your perspective. I think you guys are synergy at its best. For the record Brod - I think your Amazon faux pas isn't too bad. I just "amazoned" two baby gifts to a single recipient by accident. At least you're on top of the important things - right? What's a couple hundred bucks?
ReplyDeleteCath- thank you. My point exactly.
ReplyDeleteAnd you're right about Sam's perspective of my accomplishments: he's delusional! I hope he never discovers the truth of my mediocrity.
I love that list of previous jobs. Which one was your favorite or are they all in their own way fun? I have to admit I'm a bit envious.
ReplyDeleteHas Sam ever threatened to staple a calendar to your forehead or tape record your conversations so you can listen to them later?
Debbie- why, yes, he has threatened.
ReplyDeleteAs for the favorite job, hmmmm. Getting my masters in London was my favorite thing to do on the list. But that doesn't count as a job, right?
darn too bad i didn't win the book...we were looking for some new door locks!
ReplyDeletesam i say you need to write a book TOO! :O)
how awesome would that be to have TWO authors in your house???
at the same time??
hee hee
No way! Sam's not delusional! You're extremely impressive Brod - on paper and in person! Silly - Did my comment sound like I thought he was delusional??
ReplyDeleteThis is a Brodi cheerleader talking - I think you're amazing!
Dorien- we would definitely be overflowing with the crazy at this house if Sam ever decided to write a book.
ReplyDeleteCath- No, your comment totally didn't sound like that. I just really think Sam's delusional! He has to be, living with me.
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ReplyDelete