Thing 2: For those of you wanting to enter the contest to win James Dashner's autographed The Thirteenth Reality, you have until the end of this week to bring a new follower. And if you've brought a new follower, let me know via comment or email.
Random thing: Anyone else still have nightmare's about Dr. Seuss's Thing 1 and Thing 2? It was like a horror novel for me as a kid.
Can only be the products of a twisted mind.Actual Blog Post
One of my favorite radio programs is Radio From Hell on X96 in the mornings. On Wednesdays they do a list of "Things that must go".
I shall copy them forthwith, but in the interest of fair balance, I shall include one thing that must stay for every thing that must go. Fun, huh? And so hopeful.
My list of things that must go (and stay):
Thing that must go:
1. People who try to find the meaning of life in the random "word verification" word thingie.
Make fun of it, fine. Create a funny definition of it, great. But it's not a horoscope or anything. It will not guide you toward your destiny, young grasshopper.
My word verification for some random site today was "broscle". There is no deeper meaning, I promise. This does not mean "Brodi will turn into a popsicle" or "brothers dig bicycles" or any other words of wisdom. As a side note, nobody really wants to hear about your word verification word either.
Thing that must stay:
1. Dorien's homemade jam. (This is not a hint, Dorien. The fact that I'm out should have no bearing on this conversation.)
Thing that must go:
2. Extra charges in a hotel for another adult in the room. Seriously, what difference does it make if there are two people compared to three? What if I promise to bring my own toilet paper? Can I avoid the $35 extra charge?
Thing that must stay:
2. The new Star Trek movie. (George Lucas should have hired J.J. Abrams).
Thing that must go:
3. Airport regulations about 3 ounces of liquid. If my 3.5 ounce tube of lotion gets confiscated one more time, I swear, I'm gonna blog about it instead of simply getting a smaller tube. I like to do things the hard (idiotic) way.
Thing that must stay:
3. The word "Frak". Frak yes!
Thing that must go:
4. People that target their tennis overheads to smash the ball into my ankle at 130 miles per hour. (Sorry, Kenny, but you had no excuse. Especially when you did it the second time. Hit me once, shame on you. Hit me twice, you make the blog-o-shame. I double-dork dare you to go for three.)
Thing that must stay:
4. Friends who read between the lines of your comment on their blog, surmise you are in a bad mood, and ping you immediately to offer encouragement. (Thanks, Emily).
Thing that must go:
5. Tee Ball. The kids are 5 and 6 years old. The games are interminably long, because there are no outs. No Outs! Please someone hit me with a bat now.
Thing that must stay:
5. Coaches for T-ball. Saints, all of them.
Thing that must go:
6. Hardcore "Trekkies" wanting to be called "Trekkers".
Do you really think a name change will make you less of a dork? Embrace your trekkieness, you nerds. I mean, you Trekkies. "Trekker" is someone who explores the Amazon, and gets the girl. "Trekkie" is someone who explores the nuances of Kirk vs. Piccard, and by the middle of the conversation, any girls who were once in the vicinity are now gone.
Thing that must stay:
6. Caffeine. Ah, my only love, sprung from my only hate. I know, it makes no sense to me either. I wish I knew how to quit you.
Thing that must go:
7. Allergy season. Flowers, gardening, and that frakkin' sun. They're all mocking me.
There's me, chillin' in my garden again.7. Blog commenters. Yay! You are appreciated.
Thing that must go:
8. The economy. All of it.
Let's just get rid of it and start over. Blank slate. No questions asked. We'll even call it something different this time. Like "Shmeconomy". Hey, spell check didn't catch that. Is shmeconomy already a word? Crazy.
We can even change the slogan to, "It's the shmeconomy, dumb-arse." Totally rolls off the tongue.
Thing that must stay:
8. Nitrous Oxide. (A.K.A. Dentist Magic.) Yummmmm. Me and you, now and forever, baby. If only I could get a stinkin' cavity. Curses my manic oral hygiene!
Thing that must go:
9. That bloated feeling.
Thing that must stay:
9. I'm running out of things that must stay. Umm, how about potato chips? (Which probably contribute to said bloated feeling.)
Final thing that must go:
10. My cankles. And other people's halitosis.
Final thing that must stay:
10. World peace.
What's that? We don't have world peace? Crap. Then how about "the concealed weapons ban."
Okay, there's my list. What would you add to it? What would you detract? Detest? Deter? What's the word I'm looking for? It starts with a "D".
Your list rocks.
ReplyDeleteFor me:
Things that must GO: my out-of-shaped-ness.
Things that must STAY: I love the Radio From Hell...the world wide intranet...California Burritos...indian/pakistani food...utah sports...my metrosexiness.
Sam- Is "metrosexy" the same as "fluffy"?
ReplyDeleteThing that must Go: Boys that cannot for the life of them, hit the inside of the toilet.
ReplyDeleteThing that must stay: Clorox sanitary wipes and Costco.
Hmm. Things that must GO...body hair. Things that must STAY...ellipsis? I've got nothin. What does that say about me? I am so indifferent to life that I don't give a crap about any of it? That's probably it. Long live mediocrity and complacency and screw world peace!!!
ReplyDeleteErin- amen.
ReplyDeleteCam- Nothing comes to mind? How about puppies?
I like Sam's things to go. I second that, my out-of-shapeness must be eliminated too! Things to stay though, puppies and kitties. I mean, come on, how could you kick a poor defenseless little puppy or kitty to the curb?
ReplyDeleteOh, another thing to go: the job you HAVE to do so you can pay for the stuff you LIKE to do. Why can't underwater basket weaving pay more?!?!?
things to go: anything that causes stress in my life....
ReplyDeletehmmmm, maybe i should narrow that down a little?
i am w/sam on indian food...in fact now i am wondering if bombay house serves lunch??? take out?
do you NEED MORE JAM????
you know that old saying? something about "teaching the man to fish" as oppossed to just supplying him with the jam....er, fish??
LOL!
off to google the hours for bombay house....
ReplyDeleteUna- Oh yeah, to fulfill that dream of living out your days as an underwater basket weaver.
ReplyDeleteDorien- What do fish have to do with your jam? I hate fish!
Brodi, you are frakkin hilarious!
ReplyDeleteI was reading a Meg Cabot book yesterday and she used the word "frak." I thought of you. I think you should put it back into your ms. I mean, if Meg can do it, so can you.
ReplyDeleteThing that must go: People who call other people "Peasants."
Thing that must stay: L.A., Baby, L.A.!!
Keersten- Thanks, chica.
ReplyDeleteBree- So say we all, yon peasant. Now, let's go till the fields.
HA! "It's the shmeconomy, dumb-arse." It's things like that that endear you to me.
ReplyDeleteThings that must go: Renting
Things that must stay: Girls Nights Out
Things that must go: Orcs.
ReplyDeleteThings that must stay: Chocolate. especially the all-natural, Bree-approved-unless-she-foolishly-rejects-sugar-again kind.
Do you remember radio from hell's "utah word of the day"? do they still do that? if they do, it should stay.
ReplyDeleteDebbie- apparently we speak the same language.
ReplyDeleteEmily- Orcs must go? Fine, there goes your birthday present.
Kim- I don't think they do that anymore, but I agree, it needs to make a comeback.
"chesturjoors": a place where underwear is stored
Things that must go: Weeds and the Taliban! How do you like that for juxtaposition.
ReplyDeleteThings that must stay: Food in general--but calories must go!
Spring, I love spring.
Olive trees in bloom--yummy I love that smell!
Waterfalls, I love waterfalls!
Mountains, I love mountains!
(okay, okay I'll stop)
Okay, it's been bugging me since yesterday but I didn't comment. Now I must because I can't stop thinking about it. I'm sorry in advance if I rant.
ReplyDeletePeople actually try to find MEANING in those word verification things? Now I admit, I love to see/find a word or funny combo in them but the meaning of life? A prediction for the future? Are we that desperate of a people to try to find the answer to the great question of life in a random word verification? ACK!
Everyone should know the great answer is 4!
eden- I'm not going to argue with you on the Taliban and weeds.
ReplyDeleteUna- lol! The answer is 4.
I hate to be the bringer of bad news (again) but cankles are hereditary. I blame my grandparents since that's as far back as I've ever seen them. lol!!
ReplyDeleteI have an appt with nitrous soon and cant wait :) I have been tryig to decide which flavor to get this time.....sniff.....sniff................aaaahhhh.....yummy.........
ReplyDeletekenny ny
Ah Kenny- here's hoping you have cavities! Sniff some for me, will ya?
ReplyDeleteHi Brodi.......Well I am NOT hoping for any cavities, but my dentist does give me the gas as soon as I sit in her chair. She is the BEST!!! Its nice meetiing someone who shares the love of the gas like you...lol. My biggest decisions are the flavor of the mask and my thoughts as I drift off to lala land :) Kenny
ReplyDeleteI used to be a huge Radio From Hell fan. I still listen every once in a while. I like the Boners and the Things that Must Go, but I can't stand listening to them for very long anymore. Now, it just seems I want to listen to the music and not their anecdotes. Oh well; I guess we change as we grow older.
ReplyDeleteAnyway, your list of things that must go are great. I also like your positive spin of thinking of something that must stay too.
Kenny- you made me dream of the gas last night.
ReplyDeleteJenni- I know. Too much RFH can make you nuts. It's healthy to mix in a little music now and then.
Im touched.......I gave you something to dream about (blushing). Was it a fun dream, or just daydreaming? Did you feel as if you were "under" the rubber nose mask? Kenny
ReplyDelete