The Tivo Talks Smack

Howdy. How was all y'all's weekend?

We hooked up our Tivo to the internet this weekend, which means we were able to pull up Youtube videos on the big screen.

I couldn't believe it. Now I know how my parents felt when they saw their first Atari, and their joysticks actually made the little Pong ball move.  Like how is it possible? I push buttons on my remote, and my television thinks for itself, and grabs what I want through radio waves in the air. (Fine, I didn't get my degree in computer science.)

However, we did run into one problem: the sheer idiocy of the search screen.

You have to navigate to each letter and press enter, and it's not like the tivo is gonna give you any breaks, like the google search engine on a computer does. You want a space? You have to find it. There's no space bar in Tivo Search! And there's definitely no auto fill.

No.

The Tivo's all, "I want each word perfect and complete before I get up off my bum and hand over what you want. I don't work for half a word. I've got a family to feed."

Literally, the Tivo said that to me.

Sam and I were settling in Saturday night, and we decided to search for the gag reel for It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia.

It took me twenty minutes to type the word "It's."

Sam's all, "I'm gonna go do the laundry, let me know when you're finished."

He came back just as I was erasing "gag reel" and trying to find the letters for "bloopers" instead. Because I put in "gag reel" and the Tivo was all, "I'm sorry. I do not recognize stupidity. Try it again, suckah."

Then after I typed "bloopers", the Tivo was all, "Zing! It's outtakes! Looooooo-zerrrrrrr."

It reminded me of this:

Apple Introduces Revolutionary New Laptop With No Keyboard

Thanks for all the well-wishes on Friday!