My Heart Grew Three Sizes, so I Wrote a Poem Just for You. Yes, YOU! And More Free Books... And Winners.

I have a present for y'all today, but first... Housekeeping.

1. Winner from Friday:

And the winner of the signed copy of Loser's Guide to Life and Love, picked by a random number generator:

L.T. Elliot

Please email me your address. (My email addy is in sidebar).

2. Wanna earn another free book?

I've told you before how much I love love the Writing and Illustrating for Young Readers Workshop. (WIFYR).  I know first hand of people who found their agents or sold their books at this conference.

This year, the conference will be held in Sandy, Utah at the Waterford School. (Instead of BYU. I think the change in venue has caused some confusion.)

Here's how you can win a book:

It has some great instructors, including my own writer peep Emily Wing Smith.  If you can only go to one conference this year, make it this one. If you haven't signed up, do it now. Then leave me a comment, telling me you did, and you'll be entered to win a book. I'm giving away five, so your odds of winning will be spectacular. Contest is only open to those who are not already signed up.

But wait, there's more...

Writer peeps Kim and Valynne are also holding contests for free books, so check it out.

3. I dipped my hand in poetry. And it's gooey...

Okay, so last Monday, I did a guest post at Jody Sparks' blog, and her hits went through the roof (my phrase) because of you guys. And my heart was filled with love. Seriously, it grew three sizes that day.

So, I was inspired to write a poem. And I never write poems. It's an ode to you, blog reader. Love lift us up where we belong. I hope you like it.

Oh Blog Readers:

How do I love thee?

Let me count the ways.

Starting with those rare

35+ comment days

I know people don’t think

Their comments are noticed

Oh crap, did I really

just force a rhyme with ‘noticed’?

I read all the comments

And I love every one

From the longest opus

To the lamest pun

Through fryage of hair,

Through drainage of pus,

Through puddles of blood,

There’s always been us.

You put up with my obsessions

With Rafa, Boobies and The Six

And my slightly weird fixation

With zombies and sci-fi flicks

From murdering goldfish

To things that must go

With quick of wit,

You keep me in the know

You’re aware I never finished

my 25 things about me,

So what if I get sidetracked…

Squirrels!

From the posts that cause me

Loads of shame

To the posts where Sherman Alexie

Remembers my name,

Bad movies, bad singing

And a hairless cat,

who looks like the spawn of Satan

Drawing names out of a hat

You stuck with me, commiserated,

Empathized and sympathized

And when it was called for

You even chastised.

And to those who don’t comment

I know that you’re out there

Because I see you on my stat counter

And I know where you live

Are you a little annoyed

That ‘there’ and ‘live’ don’t rhyme?

Well I can’t rhyme when I’m passionate

So maybe next time

J/K, I love all readers, but

Consider it fair warning

I harbor the hope to meet someone new

Each and every morning

And so I raise a glass,

To my fellow Wal-Mart naysaysers,

To kindred book lovers and wannabe writers,

And all the white fluffy bunny slayers.

Here's to Diet Coke, and Mocha Honey's,

Bodily fluids and overuse of the word "y'all", 

Now Dash away, dash away, dash away all.

That's why I don't write poems,

I never know how to end it.

I guess I'll press "Save Draft" 

and click the button to send it.

Be my Valentine, blog reader.  You complete me. I see you. Or as the Na'vi say it:

Oe-l

nga-ti

kam‹ei›e