Okay, so in case you didn't notice, I was kind of on one yesterday.
Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up, and everything seems so utterly pointless?
Like, why do I have to shower? I'm just going to have to do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day.
When will it be enough? When will I hit the shower lottery, at which point I'll never have to shower again?
It's not like it halts time, or prevents the aging process. (Although I have had a wonderful blast from my past bite me on the bum... Acne. It's like I just hit puberty.)
Shouldn't we be chipping away at some huge volume of showers? Getting closer to... something? No, not death, those of you who are my pessimistic readers. More like, retirement from showers.
So yesterday, I reached a point where I was mad as H-E-Double Hockey Sticks, and I wasn't gonna take it anymore! (As a side note, can anyone name the movie for the above quote?)
To describe the rest of my day, just repeat the above, only insert the following words for the word "shower":
1. Eat (totally redundant)
2. Revise (Don't tell Ted, kay? Our secret...)
3. Clean (Who am I kidding? There's no way I do this every day)
4. Exercise (Like Dorothy said to the Scarecrow, I think this is the most pointless one of all.)
5. Answer the phone (Seriously, it's not like some announcer comes on and says, "Congrats, Brodi! You have answered the phone one meeeleeeon times! You're done!)
6. Blog (Although, sadly, it seemed I had hit the magic number on this one. No more brilliant posts. Okay, okay, semi-mildly-acne-ridden-guffaw posts. Yesterday, I stared at my computer thinking, "I got nothin'.")
6. Buy Groceries (Where does the food go?
Not only that, I went to WalMart, which as you all know, is just a cover for an underground soul-sucking operation. So I left with only 20% of my soul in tact. Bree knows what I mean.) But, man, did they have a good price on marshmallow peeps. Not a bad exchange, for part of my soul.
Then Sam came home, and we watched the latest 24 on Tivo, and I have never laughed so hard in my life!
Not that the episode was supposed to be funny. I mean, innocent people were still either maimed, tortured, decapitated or killed. But, I don't know, I guess you just have to watch it with Sam. Hilarious.
Maybe I'll compile some clips and our commentary for y'all on Friday, a la Mystery Science Theater 3000.
Are you all familiar with MST3K? It is, at times, brilliant. For the uninitiated, it is an old show on Sci-Fi, where a man and his two robots are forced to watch really bad, cheesy B movies over and over.
The three of them have a running commentary during the movies where they make fun of the show, and it is hilarious. So below, I present two videos. The first is a car chase scene from "Mitchell" and it is the shorter clip. The second is a compilation of the best lines from three of the movies. When you have six minutes, watch it. Even if you have to watch it at home. Very Funny. I promise.
And it will lighten your mood, especially if yesterday's post brought you down.