Wednesday, February 25, 2009



Okay, so in case you didn't notice, I was kind of on one yesterday.

Do you ever have one of those days where you wake up, and everything seems so utterly pointless?

Like, why do I have to shower? I'm just going to have to do it again tomorrow. And the next day. And the next day.

When will it be enough? When will I hit the shower lottery, at which point I'll never have to shower again?

It's not like it halts time, or prevents the aging process. (Although I have had a wonderful blast from my past bite me on the bum... Acne. It's like I just hit puberty.)

Shouldn't we be chipping away at some huge volume of showers? Getting closer to... something? No, not death, those of you who are my pessimistic readers. More like, retirement from showers.

So yesterday, I reached a point where I was mad as H-E-Double Hockey Sticks, and I wasn't gonna take it anymore! (As a side note, can anyone name the movie for the above quote?)

To describe the rest of my day, just repeat the above, only insert the following words for the word "shower":

1. Eat (totally redundant)

2. Revise (Don't tell Ted, kay? Our secret...)

3. Clean (Who am I kidding? There's no way I do this every day)

4. Exercise (Like Dorothy said to the Scarecrow, I think this is the most pointless one of all.)

5. Answer the phone (Seriously, it's not like some announcer comes on and says, "Congrats, Brodi! You have answered the phone one meeeleeeon times! You're done!)

6. Blog (Although, sadly, it seemed I had hit the magic number on this one. No more brilliant posts. Okay, okay, semi-mildly-acne-ridden-guffaw posts. Yesterday, I stared at my computer thinking, "I got nothin'.")

6. Buy Groceries (Where does the food go?
Not only that, I went to WalMart, which as you all know, is just a cover for an underground soul-sucking operation. So I left with only 20% of my soul in tact. Bree knows what I mean.) But, man, did they have a good price on marshmallow peeps. Not a bad exchange, for part of my soul.

Turning Point:

Then Sam came home, and we watched the latest 24 on Tivo, and I have never laughed so hard in my life!

Not that the episode was supposed to be funny. I mean, innocent people were still either maimed, tortured, decapitated or killed. But, I don't know, I guess you just have to watch it with Sam. Hilarious.

Maybe I'll compile some clips and our commentary for y'all on Friday, a la Mystery Science Theater 3000.

Are you all familiar with MST3K? It is, at times, brilliant. For the uninitiated, it is an old show on Sci-Fi, where a man and his two robots are forced to watch really bad, cheesy B movies over and over.

The three of them have a running commentary during the movies where they make fun of the show, and it is hilarious. So below, I present two videos. The first is a car chase scene from "Mitchell" and it is the shorter clip. The second is a compilation of the best lines from three of the movies. When you have six minutes, watch it. Even if you have to watch it at home. Very Funny. I promise.

And it will lighten your mood, especially if yesterday's post brought you down.


  1. I'm done with life pretty much so I can totally top all that you just threw down.

    I've got one tooth that is killing me. and I'm like thisclose to getting an ice skate and chopping it out of my mouth ala tom hanks.

    p.s. I've been suffering from like majah acne for the past couple of months. like zit beard, zit sideburns, and zit mustache.

    BUT- I found something that works

    if you want me to tell you you'll have to pay me $19.99 + s/h


  2. EW, totally don't want to hear about the acne on your bum...

  3. Shell- if you go for the ice skate, please please make sure you video it! And did you really have the answer for acne? I'm a sucker when it comes to miracle cures.

    Heather- lol! Seriously! I had to go back and read the post!

  4. Yes, 24 is a very entertaining show and the laughs you can have making fun of it throughout the show make it even better. Brodi and I got our commentary skillzz off of Mystery Science Theater. You all should join us one night.

    I also realized that you were in a bad mood when I said something really funny (trust me, I am really funny) and all you replied was: "ugh, try not to annoy me tonight." I can still feel the love after only 10 years of marriage.

  5. bro- go to smith's and get Dr. Bronners Hemp Soap. its like around $5.99

    its a liquid soap

    it comes in a couple different scents

    I got peppermint

    It has a LOT of BIBLE jargon printed on the bottle that might freak you out

    but it works for real

  6. Thank you for making me feel like I am not the only one going a little crazy! February was so like last year. I am so ready for spring and to have this baby but that is another story. As for Mystery Science Theater, I do think I have you to thank for that one. I remember going to the Tower theater for one of the movies. Very funny. Thank you as usually for the smiles and laughs. As for giving up your soul for peeps, I gave up mine the other day for Reese's Peanut Butter Eggs. My soul was semi gone but the rest of me felt terrific!!!

  7. I always feel like the devil is going to come around the corner and swipe my soul when I shop there. Which, you know, I can't go to the ghetto one in town, I have to go to the SUPER wal, 17 miles away, so nobody sees me there.

  8. Sam- Sorry, hon. You are very funny. Ha ha.

    Shell- thanks for the tip. Your check's in the mail.

    Monae- I totally remember seeing MST3K at the Tower! Ah... memories.

    Sal- True that.

  9. After seeing that MST3K clip, I plan on changing my name to Gristle McThornbody...

  10. Ah man! You took my favorite.

    Guess I'll settle for :

    Brodi McLargeHuge

  11. Dude, Bro, you must have been really hatin' it to have resorted to going to the soul sucking place. You're lucky you didn't get kidnapped by aliens/and/or/demons.

    Next time, call me. I'll talk you down. You should have come and joined the pity party I hosted yesterday. Emily came over and did her best to try to convince me that I do know how to write, that people will buy my book, and no, my stomach really isn't that ginormous in person.

    A good time was had by all. Now all I need are some peeps.

  12. I'll bring the Peeps on Saturday. And as for the pity party, I guess my invite must have gotten lost in the mail?

    It's funny, because this week is the week I discovered I can't write worth a darn either. Maybe we should start a club: "Pessimistic Chicks who suck at Writing Good."

  13. I concur. With everything. That is all.

  14. Did anyone guess "Network"? Mad as He.. quote.

  15. Keersten- Word.

    Danny- Thank you! I've been wondering when someone would take a stab at it!