Can you Name That Literary Character? And Win an ARC of EVERNEATH!

So many things to get to today!


1. First off, my sis-in-law is giving away an ARC of EVERNEATH on her blog. The rules to enter are pretty easy and straightforward, so give it a go by clicking here.


2. Second, the winner of the signed copy of BACK WHEN YOU WERE EASIER TO LOVE and an EVERNEATH guitar pick necklace is...

ANGEL SNYDER!

Please email me with your mailing address. My email is brodiashton at gmail dot com.


Thanks for everyone who entered, and participated in the Facebook trivia contest. I mailed out like 24 necklaces over the weekend. :)


3. NAME THAT LITERARY CHARACTER


I went to a blogger/writer social on Friday night (hosted by Mary Campbell) and we played a game where you stick the name of a literary figure on your forehead and you have to ask questions to figure out who you got.


I figured out the literary figure on my forehead in three simple questions. See if you can guess as well:


Question 1: "Is it a male or female?"
answer: "Male."


Question 2: "Is he hot?"
answer: "Yes. Way hot."


Question 3: "Is he supernatural or just plain human?"
answer: "Plain human."


Can you guess the literary character? (Don't scroll down if you want to try.)
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Okay, so the answer was Fitzwilliam Darcy. Did anyone get it right? It was simple, really. All you have to know is "hot" and "not immortal".

4. It was my birthday yesterday.


Check out the gift my mom gave me:

Because nothing says "Happy thirty-somethingth Birthday!" like Katy Perry nail polish. I love my mom, and I'm grateful for the gift, but I just want to know the thought process behind it.


Was it: Hey! Brodi loves glitter! This looks perfect.


Or: Hey! Brodi wanted to be a Firecracker for Halloween one year!


or: Hey! Brodi has nails.


She also got me this sun hat:

I can only assume that in her mind, I'm either turning 12 or 80.


It's okay for me to say this. My mom doesn't read my blog. Don't tell her, okay?


I painted my nails:

For the record, the bottom coat is "Teenage Dream" and the top coat is "The One That Got Away."


So, what's everyone up to? I should be getting my "EVERNEATH 2: It's Everneath-ier" revision letter on Friday, so I'm trying to enjoy my last moments of freedom. 

My Christmas Break Report: I edited, I swore, and I looked like a Dork

Hey y'all! It's great to be back. I missed you. (Yes, you!)

Things I accomplished over the Christmas break:

1. I edited the boogers out of my manuscript.

It's true. There are no more boogers in it. Now, when it breaths through its nose, there are no more whistling sounds.

2. I only cut myself six times while opening the kids' stupid toys in their stupid packaging. And then I only swore seven times. (An extra one for good measure).

3. I hosted a birthday party for Kid C and about 11 other 8-year-olds at a swimming pool. Because a party isn't a party unless you're risking a life. 

We only like to swim when it's -2 degrees outside.  

(Kid C's birthday party with my husband's family)

Kid C's birthday party with my family. Not quite as big in numbers.

Kid B pointedly NOT swimming

4. Despite having two children who are in their thirties, my mom can still manage to dress us like we're twelve.

Here's us, modeling the presents my mom bought us. 

Yep. Your eyes do not deceive you. She bought us matching hats and scarves, that in turn matched the dog.

5. You wouldn't think someone could pull off looking cool and digging for spare change from the money jar. But Kid C can.

I'm not desperate. I was just sitting here, in my preppy vest, and my hand happened to fall into the money jar. And if I come up with a fistful of coins, I'll just shrug. Whatevs.

 

6. Kid C and Niece N had a sing-off to the tune of "I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas". Nobody died in battle, but some blood was shed. Mostly by the audience, who tried to slit their wrists with wrapping paper.

Battle formations... check.

7. We wore the kids out sledding.

Kid C and Kid B, in a dress rehearsal for the cold weather.

This is no dress rehearsal. It's 2 degrees outside.

Raise a glass... to child labor!

8. The results of number 7:

 Pictures like this stop me from sending Kid B back up the chimney to search for his "real" dad- the fat guy in the red suit.

9. And finally, the ninth thing I accomplished over the holidays...

I made the yuletide gay.

At first, he wanted nothing to do with it, but by the end, he relented.

How was all y'all's holidays?

My Favorite Book, the Herriman Fire, and the Best Birthday Ever

Happy Monday.

Here's today's question from FOB (Friend of the Blog) Lulabell:

Q: What is the most meaningful book you have ever read? How did it affect your life? 

Well, I'm going to discount religious books, because it's my blog and I can do what I want. And I can't pick just one book, because that would be crazy. Among my favorites:

Dracula (taught me that classic books can actually be good)

The Sky is Everywhere (taught me that maybe I do like poetry)

The Absolutely True Story of a Part-Time Indian (Because remember when Sherman Alexie remembered my name?)

But the one that really started my love affair with reading and writing is: Fried Green Tomatoes. 

I've read it probably a million times, and I even adopted it's time-shifting storytelling into my book. When I was younger, I tried to change my name to "Towanda".

On to the blog. 

Here's what's going on:

1. The Herriman fire continues to burn. 

I'm across the valley, but I have a lot of friends and family in the evacuation area, and I'm sending virtual hugs their way. (Side note: virtual hugs are not as soft as real hugs, what with the electrical shock and all).

My bff Sheree and her kids are bunking at her family's home, and the cat that I gave her is safe. Repeat, the cat I gave her is safe. Nothing destroys that cat. 

How bout y'all? Everyone out there okay?

2. Thank you for all the birthday wishes. 

The big day came in like a lion and went out like a lamb. I have to admit it was my best birthday ever, even beating out my 8th birthday where I got to go to Brigham Young's house and make taffy and celebrate my polygamous heritage. I mean, my pioneer heritage. 

-Sam took me to Benihana, where our Chef was named "Kurt" and he dropped an egg.

-Friends brought me treats. Chocolate bars, home-made pumpkin and chocolate chip muffins, sugar cookies with yellow frosting, caramels, Munchoes potato chips (available only in the finest gas stations) and Diet Coke. 

-My mother-in-law made Fried Green Tomatoes for Sunday dinner. 

-My sister-in-law gave me an entire homemade cheesecake. 

That takes care of breakfast, lunch and dinner.

So, really, I guess for my birthday I received... FIVE EXTRA POUNDS! Which is what I've always wanted.

How was everyone else's birthday weekend?

I am Predictable... See? I knew I was Gonna Say That

I Guess I am Predictable

On my actual birthday:
I took some NyQuil and crashed at 4:30 p.m.

Again.

I convinced Sam to take me to The Melting Pot. Again.

I spent a buttload of money on books.

Again.

I joked that this year, I became one year younger.

Again.

I slept in for five days straight, claiming, "It's my birthday week."

Again.

I watched Kanye's blunder, and complained about "kids these days." Again.

Sam's also predictable, though. He forgot to give me my present on Friday. Then he forgot again on Saturday. Then he forgot again on Sunday. Now it's Monday... Still don't know what I got, but I refuse to remind him. I wonder if he'll read this post?

Speaking of overused cliches...

Here is the list of overused cliches provided by you lovely blog readers. It's time to behead them and pull their spines out.

Rest in Peace cliches:
1. red letter day
2. here today & gone tomorrow
3. it's all fun & games until someone looses an eye.
4. air quotes
5. Whatnot
6. like a thief in the night.
7. no brains, no headaches.
8. stick out like a sore thumb
9. easy as pie/piece of cake
10. when life throws you lemons...make lemonade
11. If I had a nickle for every time I wanted a raisin, I'd be rich!
12. Avoid like the plague.
13. It is just as easy to fall in love with a rich man as a poor man.
14. Sweating like a pig. (Pigs don't sweat!)

15. And my personal favorite, because I really don't think I've ever heard it before: "There's more than one way to kill a cat than choking it with butter." Cool. Thanks Becky.

16. I would like to add: "Put some elbow grease into it."
What the heck is "elbow grease"? If I could pick the least greasiest spot on my body, it would be my elbow. Sam says he loves elbow grease. It's great on panini's.

Thanks for entering the contest everyone. And to you de-lurkers, I think I love your presents most of all. Partly because Sam hasn't given me anything yet... (Did you know I have a follower, a girl in Australia, named "Brodie"? So cool.)

My mom even de-lurked. Which means she does read my blog.

Okay, okay. I actually had to go over to her house, pull up my blog on her laptop, and chase her through the kitchen until I finally cornered her and shoved the laptop in front of her.

But hey, she must've liked it. She left a comment.

Okay, okay. I typed the comment for her. Are there any therapists out there?

The winner will be picked on Wednesday by Smokey the Hairless Cat, as usual. (See? Predictable.)

One last birthday thingee:

My friend "Lucy" (one half of Lucy and Ethel) texted me on my birthday.

Text #1:
"Can Ethel and I take you to lunch or dinner for your bray if so when"

2 seconds later:
Text #2: "I mean beau"

Hey. We're old. We're not supposed to be able to text.

Seriously last birthday thingee:

I went to tip at my birthday breakfast, and there was a totally awesome message on the dollar bill: "For a good time, call ***-****. Ask for Dominic." I got all excited, thinking my birthday couldn't get any better, until I read the rest:
"Males only. :)"

Fine, Dominic. Whatev's. Coulda been great.

If you would like Dominic's number, let me know.

So, what's your vote? Do you think Sam will get the subtle hints from this post and give me my frakkin' present? He's even walking behind me right now, getting the kids ready for school. All he has to do is look at what I'm typing!

Nope. Walked right on by.

Free Book Friday, and What You Can Give me for My Birthday

I haven't done an update in a while, so here goes.

What I'm Reading:

Catching Fire.

Re-reading is more like it, because it's so stinkin' good. It's the sequel to The Hunger Games, and if you haven't read these books, I heartily recommend them.
For anyone who has read them, I'm totally TEAM GALE.

The down side to reading such a good book is knowing I will never, ever, be able to write something as good.

Anywho, back from my little pity party...

What I'm Writing:

32,000 words into my WIP.

It's not looking good for my heroine, I'll tell you what.

Free Book Friday:

As always, there are two ways to enter:

1. I warned you lurkers out there to beware. Today is my Birthday, and for my birthday present, I want you lurkers to de-lurk. All 2 million of you.

I'm prepared for the excuses...
Just stopping by today? It's your first time? Tell me about it.

Don't think you have anything useful to add? Read Cam's comments.

Don't speak English? Sprechen sie deutsch? Guten tag, peeps!

Not reading my blog because it's a Friday, and no one reads it on a Friday? Then, how did you just read that sentence? Gotcha!

Don't wanna comment cuz you're my mom's neighbor? Hi Margaret!

So, for my Birthday, and the sweet-sixteen I never had, my Prom Date that went home with another girl, the mud pies my sister made me eat, the time I peed my pants during my tennis lesson... wow. I'm pathetic. Anyway, for my Birthday, I want a "hi" from at least one measly little lurker.

If all 2 million of you want to de-lurk, even better.

2. For non-de-lurkers, write down your favorite overused cliche and we will have a funeral of sorts for it. Bonus points if you twist something in it to make it funny.

ex: "Like shootin' fish in a barrel."

bonus ex: "If a tree falls in a forest, it's still a tree, isn't it?" (From the season finale of a vamp show...)

And that's how you play the game.

Actual Blog Post:

1. My bro-in-law Mark says I'm predictable because I picked eating at the DoDo for my birthday, and apparently I always eat at the Dodo.

We were having dinner at a restaurant when he said it, so I instantly got up and started tap dancing in front of everyone, all the while saying (in between panting), "Am I still predictable? Who's predictable now, suckah? How's that for spontaneity? Zing!"

Finally I stop tap-dancing, and I ask him, "Did you predict that?"

He deadpans: "Yes."

I realized the missing key to my strategy: next time get him to predict my behavior BEFORE I actually do it, not after.

2. Yesterday, I wanted to get a massage. On my way to the spa, I called hubby to tell him where I was going. He's like, "Just wait. Maybe you'll get one for your birthday."

Me: "But I really want one today."

Him: "You haven't wanted a massage for months, and suddenly the day before your birthday, you want a massage? Please wait."

Me: "Fine."

So, I hung up the phone and drove to the spa anyway. What hubby doesn't know won't hurt him, right?

As I'm undressing in the room, my phone rings. It's Hubby. I answer.

"You're there, aren't you?" he accuses.

"No," I say, a little muffled because I'm pulling my shirt off. "Paranoid much?"

Sam: "I'm on the phone with the front desk at the spa right now. They called to let me know you'd come in one day early, and did I want to just switch your birthday massage to today."

me: "Oh."

Sam: "So, happy freakin' birthday."

me: "What a great surprise. Thank you."

(This is totally what I look like when I get a massage. Brunette.)

3. During the massage, I fell asleep while I was on my stomach. There's nothing worse than feeling like you're wasting a good massage by sleeping.

Then I had one of those dreams where I'm falling off a cliff, and suddenly I jerked awake.

Masseuse: "Uh, are you okay?"

Me (not wanting to admit I fell asleep): "I'm fine. It's just that my nose is running... and ... dripping onto the floor."

Yeah, because that's so much less embarrassing than falling asleep.

So, any fun plans for this weekend? I think my Hubby is going to surprise me with a dinner at Melting Pot tomorrow night. I might go by myself tonight, one night early, just to mess with him.