Tuesday, July 29, 2014

My New Series on Writing Advice... and... a Puppy!

Hey y'all.

So my break from blogging turned out to be a really really big break from blogging. But I had a good excuse. I was getting my nails done. 

Not to go all poetic on your bums, but I can't help it: My intended break was but a drop, my actual break was an ocean. My intended break was a grain of sand, my actual break was the beach. My intended break was the color red, my actual break was the number 42. (Okay, by now, I'm not even following along).

The previous paragraph might make you think, "Why would I ever take writing advice from the author of that odious passage?"

To which I answer, "Aren't you impressed I used the phrase 'odious passage?'" Without even googling "phrases only erudite people say"?

I feel that I might be losing you. So, I will randomly insert a picture of my new cute puppy. She fell asleep while eating my shoe. 

There. Do I have your attention again? Excellent. So, onto the writing advice series. Every writing advice series needs an introductory video. So, here is the introductory video. It is only 30 seconds long, but it will tell you everything you need to know about my writing advice series. And... it might just save your life.   

I am also going to update my books page and appearances page. Because I'm pretty sure I've had a third book come out. And I'm pretty sure I have a couple of more announcements to make regarding forthcoming books. 

So... what have y'all been up to this past year? Any news to celebrate? Any annoying people in your life to curse? My favorite way to get back at people is to make a voodoo doll of the offender, and then, while the doll is asleep, stick the doll's hand in a bowl of warm water. I will be happy to help any of you to do that. 

Monday, January 13, 2014

EVERTRUE LAUNCH, and Heads Up, Austin and Nashville

Hello Lovelies! 

Just a heads up:

The final book in the Everneath trilogy, EVERTRUE, is coming out a week from tomorrow. A WEEK FROM TOMORROW! 

Y'all are invited to a launch party that night! 

January 21st, 2013
at The King's English 
7:00 p.m. 

Here are some other Appearances I'll be making!  

Austin, Texas
January 28, 2014 
6:30pm – The Book Spot (Round Rock) – with Jodi Meadows

Nashville, Tennessee
January 31, 2014 
6:30pm -- Parnassus – with Jodi Meadows, C.J. Redwine, and Myra McEntire

Friday, September 6, 2013

I'm Baaaaaaaaack! And let me tell you about a Great Writer's Conference!

(Imagine the title of this blog said in a creepy "Jack Nicholson" All-Work-And-No-Play kind of voice.)

(Oh wait... He never says "I'm baaaaaaack", right? He says "Heeeeeeeere's Johnny".)

(So which movie has the guy saying, "I'm baaaaaaaaack?")

(Should a blog post start out with this many parentheses?)


Hey y'all! I'm back from my summer blogging break. You didn't know I was taking a summer blogging break, did you? Well, neither did I. But the suits who run this blog (they don't exist) insisted I take a break (because I'm totally lazy). 

(By the way, we have officially reached the world record for "Most Parentheses in a Single Blog Post.")

(They will be awarding me the Parenthetical Crown tonight in a special ceremony). 

(Do periods go outside the parentheses? Or inside?.).

Anyway, the reason I'm here is to tell you about an awesome writing conference! For writers! It's this thing:

(contrary to what is being advertised, no writers will be put under literal construction)
I will be delivering the keynote address. Which means I will be using my entire repertoire of cuss words (because I swear like a sailor when I'm nervous). 

Here's what the organizers have to say: “The $49 includes a catered lunch and the day offers networking opportunities and book signings with our authors. Whether writing fiction, non-fiction, or for adults, young adults, or children, there’ll be something for everyone.”

Are you a writer who would like to connect with other writers, be inspired, or learn some crafty stuff? Then this is the place for you! You can register here.

Also, for those of you who will be at Salt Lake Comic Con, I'll be speaking on a panel Saturday at noon. And if that isn't enough to entice you to go, I will be wearing an elf costume. 

Hope to see you at either of these thingees! 

Now... how was your summer?

Monday, May 27, 2013

My Adventure at the RT Convention... and Other Stuff. With Pictures!

So I've been hesitant to blog lately. The reasons for this are twofold: (Seriously, I look for any excuse to say the word "twofold" or "threefold" or "thricefold". I don't know why)

1. Because it's been a few weeks, and I would have a lot to catch y'all up on...

2. There is no two. (Remember the extremes I go to just to use the word "twofold"?)

But now I just have to bite the bullet. And it tastes metally. 

Here's what I've been doing the last few weeks (and the accompanying pictures): 

Sold books at the EDGEFEST concert in Dallas Texas...
(Answering the age old question: Can authors jump simultaneously?? Um... almost, but no.)

Then I went to the Romantic Times Convention in Kansas City. I knew I was in the right place, because here is the room key...
I further knew because he was waiting for me in my room. Kidding. 

I also knew I was in the right place because there was a giant poster for Sharon Page...
Oh, and for me too! 
 One of the best parts of the convention is getting together with author friends, old and new!
A table full of YA Authors, including: Suzanne Lazear, Josephine Angelini, Victoria Scott, Kiera Cass, Amy Plum... and more)
On a whim, as I was passing a haircuttery in a mall, I bounced in and chopped my locks! And then the hair dresser was like, "Stop chopping your own locks! I'll cut it! I'll CUT IT!"
Do not adjust your screen. That's not a boy you see there, that's me!  

I met the guy (Brady!) who filmed both of my awesome book trailers...
Brady, sizing me up and making the correct decision NOT to put me in the EVERTRUE trailer...)
And just because it was a random weekend, have you ever wondered what an elevator full of YA authors looks like?  
We made many great memories in that elevator... And by memories, I mean we rode it up, and then down as needed. 
  I signed books in between Jennifer Armentrout and Leigh Bardugo...
Leigh said she was pulling a "Ned Stark". And if you get that, then I love you. 
 Did I mention hanging out with a billion YA Authors? 
Okay, not quite a billion. Just under. 
 And when the food didn't come soon enough...

I tried out the panorama button on my iPhone...

Male model sandwich!

Seriously, friends for life...
(CJ Omololu, Zoraida Cordova, Victoria Scott, Corinne Jackson, Tamera Ireland Stone)
 I signed a buttload of books (remember, the "buttload" is an actual unit of measurement: A butt is defined to be 2 hogsheads, which in the US is 63 gallons)...
Many thanks to HarperCollins for sponsoring so many events, and for providing 63 gallons of books! 

I also attended the Whitney Awards Gala with a table full of my favorite people...
(including my agent Michael Bourret, My mom, Jeff Savage and his wife, James Dashner and his wife...)
 Oh yeah. I won a Whitney Award too...
Took me a while to figure out I could actually open the trophy, like a book. Okay, my agent had to point it out to me. He's so good at his job.

Phew. That was a lot. Now I feel like I can blog more regular-like, without my head exploding. (because there are currently brain bits splattered across my screen). 

So... what have y'all been up to??????????????????? Ew. A brain bit just made the question key stick...

Sunday, May 12, 2013

How I look to my Kid on this Mother's Day...

My Mother's Day Portrait, by Kid C. 

Before you judge, just know that I've always needed bigger arms to counteract my abnormally tiny legs...

Other than that, it's spot on. Long hair, constant smile, and no nose. That happens to be the look I strive for when I'm getting ready in the morning. 

Kid B made me a potted planter, full of pipe cleaners in the shape of flowers. 

When I picked the pot up, he changed his mind and decided it was for him. After accusing me of stealing it, he grabbed it out of my hands, emptied it of pipe cleaners and straightened each one of them out. Once there was no trace of the flower shapes, he took the fake grass and sprinkled it on the living room floor. 

Seeing my forlorn expression, he handed me a wadded up candy wrapper and said, "Happy Mother's Day." 

me (looking at the decimated carnage that was once a mother's day pot, and then at the garbage in my hand): "Um... thank you?"

him (beaming): "You're welcome!"

Happy Mother's Day to all of you women out there, kids or no kids, flowers or just pipe cleaners. And to those fathers pulling double duty. What did all y'all do today?

Tuesday, April 23, 2013

How When it Comes to Love, My Mom Duped me. And then I Duped Kid C

My mama always told me to keep the guys guessing, and never let 'em see you swoon. So the other day, Kid C was talking to me about a few girls that he likes. I tried to dispense a little bit of similar motherly advice. 

me: "So, you know, if you like a girl, you might want to play it cool-"

Kid C holds his hand up, as if to say I got this. 

Kid C: "I know, mom. I know. It's called 'playing hard to get'."

I guess I've been talking to him about it more than I thought.

me: "So what do you think that means?"

Kid C: "It means I avoid her. And I tell her that I like other girls. I don't go as far as to tell her I hate her, or trip her or anything, but I make sure she knows I don't like her much, and I'd rather be near someone else."

me (with a sigh, thinking I may have overshot the whole "playing hard to get" lesson for years...): "Okay, let's start over. Let's practice starting a conversation with her."


me: "You know, like 'Hey! How are you?'"


And I realize it's too late. I've already indoctrinated him with the hard to get mentality. Suddenly, my high school social life (or lack thereof) flashes before my eyes. 

I remember my agent, after reading my book, said to me, "It seems like the main character doesn't like the main love interest very much."

I was stunned. I was all, "She LOVES him! How did you not get that?"

He's all, "Well how does she show it?"

Me: "Didn't you see her run out of the room every time he walked in? And then that one scene where she yells at him? and tells him she hates him?? If that's not love..." My voice faded off. 

Him: "Um... Yeah..."

Me (lightning strikes): "Ahhhhh. That's not love." And  then, shaking my fist in the air: "CURSES MOM!! I was DUPED!"

I'm so sorry, Kid C. 

Sunday, April 14, 2013

What I've Been Doing... NOT Licking Thor, that's for sure.

Okay, so I've had a few not-so-subtle nudges from blog readers, friends and family members (I'm totally looking at you, Jacksons) about putting up a new blog post. 

Here's what happened: I turned in the last round of edits on EVERTRUE (I still call it Everneath 3: It's Everneathiest) and then did you know there's an off switch in your brain? A literal off switch? That's the only explanation for what I've been doing during the last couple of weeks. Somebody flipped the off switch. 

I mean, I've done some of the usual stuff... 

Like now you see it...
because what's a barber shop without a pool table and a lei?

Now you don't.
... that's a handsom face in the mirror... wait, is that moi?

Now you see it...
Isn't she cute?

Now you don't. 
It's a boy! 

I kicked some balls...
...and pulled a hamstring. (This was also the "before the concussion" pic)
I consulted with my godfather...
... he told me to go to the mattresses. So I went to just the one mattress. And fell asleep.

I danced with Fred Astaire. But I have to admit, I felt like a third wheel...
... Um, Fred? Fred? I'm over here, Fred.
Okay, Fred, this is getting ridiculous. It's like you don't think we're dancing together. 

I used my feminine wiles... all two of them...
... That's right, Ben. I totally pulled my hammy right here...
And you see this leg? I've got another one just like it. And it goes all the way up... to my hip.

And finally, I let Thor know that I really lick him.. I mean like him...

Because if you were this close to Thor, you'd lick him too. Admit it. 

So yeah, I've been totally busy. 

What have all y'all been up to?