Ted is obviously second from the right, wearing all his hip New York-ness on the outside. My sister author Bree (another Ted client) is on the right. Sydney Salter Husseman (another sister author, and SCBWI RA) second from left.
The hungry giant on the far left is me. But I could have sworn the photographer never said 'smile'. Instead, I'm pretty sure she said "Okay, now act like you would like to eat the camera..." click.
I could probably fill a year's worth of blogs with my gaffs from just this one weekend. So I thought it would be fun to compare my verbal vomit with Ted's cool quippiness.
Quips vs. Gaffs
1. Conference go-er during Q&A: "Ted, I have a really dumb agent question."
Ted (with a smile): "You mean a dumb question for an agent, or a question for a dumb agent?" (total quip)
Audience: appreciative laughter
2. At dinner with Ted
Bree: "Brodi, what's your book about?"
Brodi: "Um.... it's like.... about..... aliens?" (Gaff)
Ted: "We're going to have to work on your pitch."
3. I would have documented his quips at the party on Friday night, but unfortunately Bree and I ended up at the WRONG PARTY. We took advantage of the free bar and the incredible spread of sushi for 45 minutes before we realized that all the party goers were way too well-dressed to be children's writers. (Not that children's writers don't dress well, but these people were all about the evening gowns and the carry-on pooches in their purses.)
So, I guess that was another gaff...
LESSONS LEARNED:
1. It's a very good thing New York Ted is in charge of selling my book.
2. Test the words out in your head before you let them spill out of your mouth.
3. If someone is pointing a camera your way, just smile. Do you really need instructions on this?
Off to do revisions. Please include your own verbal gaffs in the comments, so I don't feel completely alone on this...
Hmmm, strange. I can't remember the last time that I said anything silly or a bit off base. I guess I bring the normal-ness and composure to our relationship.
ReplyDeleteLOL! I'm glad you can laugh and share your gaffs! New York is a great city, I hope it was a productive trip for you. BTW...what is a sister author? Or is that a dumb agent question?
ReplyDeleteWe started calling each other sister authors because we both have the same agent. (Also, kind of a reference to sister wives?) The conference was actually in Salt Lake City, so there had to be a polygamy joke, right?
ReplyDeletei was going to ask the sister author question....someone beat me to the punch.
ReplyDeleteAll I know is that I've never said anything off base...by the way, how much do you weigh; what religion are you; what are your political views; and how much money do you make?
ReplyDeleteOh, I have way to many gaffe to share. I am sure you have heard a few come out of my mouth. But you sharing yours always makes me feel better.
ReplyDeleteAnything I can do to help, Paula!
ReplyDeleteto add to Erin-- is that your natural hair color? and when is your baby due? Oh, you're not--whoops....
ReplyDeleteYou know that Duff is me Deanna right? that is how my g mail is I need to start using the "name" option. The whole world calls me Duff except you guys :}
ReplyDeleteOf course I know it's you, deanna. I'm all about the Duff!
ReplyDeleteyou're not suppossed to ask people their political views? or how much money they make??
ReplyDelete(you know i am kidding!)
At least you didn't tell your agent that one of the books you wrote is completely unpublishable. Oh yeah . . .and that it's based on the time you punched a guy in the face and broke his nose. I think I set the standard for "craziest client" at that dinner. At least I didn't mention that I beat that guy up at CHURCH.
ReplyDeleteBree- Thank you for outdoing me on the weird scale! Dorien, Erin and Deanna, I've totally said every one of those gaffs. (At least, I've witnessed Erin saying them... :)
ReplyDelete