Sunday, September 13, 2009

The Mysterious Brigham Tortilla, and Rafa Crashes and Burns

Mocha Man Meets Untimely End...
Rafa's triumphant return came to a bone-crunching halt yesterday. Juan Martine "I love my tall, Gladiatorial body" del Potro handed Rafa his bum on a platter. (To use tennis terminology).

RIP Rafa 6-2, 6-2, 6-2

Thank you for your kind words at this time, everyone. (Except Cam). Rafa, always a class act, smiled afterward and graciously agreed to a post-loss interview.

Speaking of class acts, Serena Williams lost her temper at one of the line judges. Because she let the "F" word fly, she was automatically docked one point. Only problem was, that point happened to be match point. Sorta anticlimactic.

And for moms everywhere, the highlight of the tournament was when Kim Clijsters won the Women's championship. She left the tour two years ago when she had her baby. She had to get into the US Open with a wild card. Last night she won the whole taco. I remember my bod post-baby. I had to be carried around everywhere by the jaws of life. Seriously, large cruise ships docked on my thighs.

Lunch with Brigham Tortilla
Kid C is just like me. He has a serious problem remembering people’s names. Only he’s much more creative about it.

The other day, he comes home from school and tells me he had lunch with his older cousin Abram.
I asked him who Abram was sitting with.

Kid C: “Um… Brigham.”

Me (I know most of Abram’s friends): “Brigham? Brigham who?”

Kid C: “Brigham Tortilla. You don’t know him.”

Me: “Abram’s friend is named ‘Brigham Tortilla’?”

Kid C: “Yeah.”

I racked my brain, trying to remember Abram’s friend’s name.

Finally, Me: “Do you mean Finn?”

Kid C: “Yeah. Finn.”

Finn. Brigham Tortilla. Hard not to confuse the two. Also, when I ask who he plays with at recess, he says: “Um… Shanden, Planden and Franden.”

I guess they’re triplets?

Heck, I used to tell my mom I had lunch with Winkin, Blinkin and Nod. I didn’t have many real friends.

FBF winners:

Free Book Friday winners will always be announced on Wednesdays.

So, what are y'all doing this week? Anything fun? I plan on working out again, unless the shin cancer explodes again.


  1. would it make you feel better to know that Olivia has 3 IMAGINARY friends (so, yup! not even REAL ONES!) named "honey" "cradle" and "house"....

    she talks to them ALL the time!

    i love kid C!!

  2. Dorien- yes that makes me feel better. Especially the names. (house). Ha!

  3. I have to hand it to Rafa...even with his injury, he still go to the semis. Impressive. Clijsters is just lucky she didn't have to play Ivanovic.

    And even though we assume there isn't...maybe there really is a kid at his school named Brigham Tortilla. That would be an awesome name.

  4. You're right, Sam. If we ever have another kid, I'm naming her Brigham Tortilla Johnson.

    And, there's a reason Ivanovic lost in the first round. Just sayin'.

  5. Rafa, oh sweet Rafa, until next time good buddy.

    When my daughter was 3.5 she made up an imaginary friend and his family. His name was Chocolate Chip. His family's name was computer and potato. My husband and I added in buffalo and fish'n. It was a lovely family.

  6. I had imaginary friends but they wouldn't tell me their names. Hmmm...

    So sorry to hear about Rafa, but I agree, what a class act!

    No great plans this week, just working...

  7. Debbie- the names are killing me. Chocolate chip, computer, potato, buffalo and fish'n. lol!

    Una- Your imaginary friends wouldn't tell you their names? That is so sad. And beautiful! I might have to use that in a book.

  8. Except me? I bet Rastafari wishes he had Juan Martine del Potro's platter and Juan Martine had a feather up his bum because then they would both be tickled. Wait, I said that wrong....

    I bet Rastafari wishes he had Juan Martine's bum and that Juan Martine had his platter and then they could both be tickled with a feather. Wait, still not right...

    I bet Rastafari wishes he WERE Juan Martine del Potro!!!

    Sucks to be Rafa, neener, neener, neener...

  9. Sorry I've been AWAL for the last couple of posts. Life is crazy. Anyway, sorry to hear Rafa crashed and burned. I hope you find some other way of ogling his mochaness.

    I had an imaginary friend once, but I don't remember his/her name. He/she, or let's say schlee (Futurama reference), mustn't have been a very good friend if I can't remember schler name or gender.

  10. Cam- You are heartless. Funny, but heartless!

    Jenni- of course your life is crazy. How did the opening of Froyo go? I can't wait to give it a try! Where is it again?

    "schler"- that's awesome.

  11. Oh Brodi, feel free to use any and all embarrassing and awkward assorted snippets of my childhood that I for some reason post freely here in a book. You know, it's the reason I avoid a therapist...I refuse to be the reason they write a best selling novel on how crazy I am and I just don't know it! =)

    Thank you again for the continuing witty banter via the comments section! I must say you know some wonderfully snarky people!

  12. Una- Even my imaginary friends are snarky.

  13. Oh man, I had two imaginary friends when I was little. Diane & Bobby (I think). Whenever I did something wrong I always blamed it on Bobby.

    My parents were always nice saying things like, "Well, tell Bobby if he does it again he'll go to timeout. It's not nice."

    HA! If one of my kids tried to pull that I'd like like, "Nice try kiddo. Timeout chair for you."

    Sounds like something that could be in a creepy movie. "No mommy I didn't skin our cat alive & leave it on the front porch. My imaginary friend did it."

  14. It's in the Meadows in American Fork next to Rubio's. The address is 598 W. Main St.

    The grand opening went really well. We had almost as many people show up to the grand opening as we do on a normal day. And, then the rest of our day exceeded any other day by almost a third. So, it was a great day! :)

    Yeah, I thought the Futurama writers were quite clever to come up with schlee and schler. Corey and I use it in everyday reference often.

  15. Olivia- Wasn't that the premise of a recent creepy movie? Where "Bobby" goes around flaying little squirrels? Or was that just a dream I had?

    I personally have tried the "It wasn't me. It was the one-armed man" excuse. It never works.

    Jenni- I'm so happy it went well. Can't wait to try it.

  16. Kid C reminds me of my little brother--he NEVER knew his own friends' names. I was utterly shocked when my daughter even as a preschooler knew all her classmates names (first and last).

    I'm not quite as skilled with the remembering as my daughter, but I've always known my friends' names unlike my brother : )

  17. Sydney- It's such a good quality to remember friends names. I have a friend who is so good at remembering people, it's almost creepy.

    She happened to run into this couple a few days ago, and she's all, "Joe! Francine! It's so good to see you. Remember me? We stood in line together at Frightmares two or three years ago. How are your kids? Bobby and Sue?"

  18. Creepy when people who shouldn't remember your name do. Sounds like my husband. It's really not normal. Or good. He thinks people like it, but it kind of makes them freak sometimes, as in, "Is this guy stalking me? WHY does he know my name?"
    I like your son's style better. He sounds like a budding novelist. Love the sound of Brigham Tortilla; it has a nice rhythm for a main character.

  19. Ha, the discussion of Brigham Tortilla reminds me of the name my hubby and his best friend picked when his best friend was expecting their first child; Cayucos Voltron, their favorite place and their favorite toy as a child. Whenever anyone asks my hubby what names we've picked for baby, he always says that one first.

    Please tell me he can't just pick the name while I'm recovering after giving birth....right?!?

  20. Elena- I like to think she's creepy but only because I'm jealous of her. She's probably the most successful person I know and a big part of that is how she remembers people. It's so not fair!

    Una- Did they actually end up naming their baby that? Hilarious! btw, how do you pronounce the first name, phonetically? Does it roll off the tongue?

    As for naming your baby, I'm pretty sure you have 7 days to change it... just in case. Of course, my bro-in-law changed his son's name when he was about 3 months old.

  21. It's the name of a small beach town in California, "kye-OO-cus": Sadly, it does roll of the tongue...

    No, my godsister (she is married to my hubby's good friend..oddly they become besties when hubby and I got engaged, my godsister was already married to him...)

  22. Ack, totally got sidetracked on that comment! No, my godsister didn't allow the name for either of their kids.

  23. I loved the unfinished sentence! I was like, "Am I missing something?" :) That's totally how my brain works too.

  24. Grrrr, and wouldn't you know there is no edit button for these comment box thingies.

  25. I know. That's gotten me in trouble a few times.