Friday, September 24, 2010

Kid C and the Case of the Missing Homework

Happy Friday y'all. 

Kid C came home from school yesterday freaking out. Apparently, when the time came for him to hand in his weekly homework assignment, he couldn't find it.

Needless to say, he was distressed.

This is probably because we've always told him: "If you don't turn in your homework, you don't get 10 points, and if you don't get 10 points, you don't get A's. No A's means no college, and then all you can look forward to is a life in the gutter with a needle as your only friend."

We had that printed on a bumper sticker.

Just to make sure the message sinks in, I always tell him, "I knew a girl once who didn't turn in her second-grade homework. Here she is today:"

Don't worry. We end the stories with, "Sleep tight, Kid C."

So, yeah, Kid C was not happy about his disappearing homework. He immediately blamed Sam for forgetting to put it in his backpack.

Sam took Kid C's homework folder out of his backpack and opened it, and that's when we all saw what the problem was:
 Look! Nothing but an empty folder.

Sam hid the the homework in plain view. Not only that, he put the homework in the folder marked "Homework". 

I told Kid C he needed to stop blaming Sam, and take responsibility. He pondered that for a moment, and then decided on the best course of action:

Kid C: "We'll turn it in tomorrow."

me: "There's no school tomorrow, that's why the homework was due today."

Kid C: "We'll break in to the school, and leave it in Mrs. Rohaj's room."

me: "No, we're not breaking in-"

Kid C: "We'll find out where Mrs. Rohaj lives!! And then we'll break into her house."

me: "I think that might be compounding the problem, what with a B&E conviction."

But Kid C was worried about turning into the skeleton girl, so I amended the story. Skeleton Girl only became Skeleton Girl when she missed TWO homework assignments.

What are y'all doing this weekend?


  1. i know where Miss Rohaj lives--does that help?

    and we threaten our kids with most of those same lines all the time brodi--i guess they will all be in therapy together when they get older!

  2. Do you ever feel like we're just earning money to pay for therapy later? I totally feel like that!

  3. I happened to be reading your blog with the kids around. Eliza just pointed to Skeleton girl and said "ICK! What is THAT??" She didn't even need to hear the homework story - the picture alone is enough to give a kid nightmares! Enjoy "Comp Day" - what does that mean? The kids are comped an extra day off from school? The teachers are comped? The parents? Who's getting compensation here? And in what form?

  4. Cath- My point exactly! The school calendar, especially at the beginning of the school year, is so messed up!

    As for the picture, didn't you ever read "Scary Stories to Tell in the Dark" when you were younger? I thought everyone our age read that book!

    Or maybe it was just me.

  5. I think you should change the focus of your blog to parenting tips. You could make a million!

  6. Eden- If my writing career doesn't work out, I'll totally consider that!

  7. Thank you! I was trying to remember where that picture came from. I remembered seeing it, but couldn't remember the source. :)

    We're struggling with remembering whose homework is due on what day. My own Kid C freaked out at bedtime because his last bit of homework wasn't done and it was due today (we don't have comp day). It was the same bit of homework Jerry told him to save so he'd have something to do tonight. After consultation, we decided that Kid C's homework packet was due on Friday--it's Kid B's homework that's due on Monday. Why can't the teachers coordinate these things?

  8. what do you mean??? You don't already have a therapy savings jar?

    And yeah, that skeleton girl. Definite motivator, I'd say, but he wasn't worried about the needle? My kidlets would be more worried about the needle as your best friend comment.

  9. ...and is there a way to have follow-up comments emailed to you without leaving another comment? You know, in case you forget to check the box the first time you comment? Not that that ever happens to me--I'm just curious.

  10. My kids don't seem to care if they even get it done. Most of the time they leave it at school. Crazy kids or maybe I better be a better parent!

  11. Wow! Your children are going to grow up with a complex. I should know because my parents told me the exact same story and I have a complex now. I can't get anything less than a 4.0 while going to school. Otherwise, I think the world will implode ... or, maybe, I'll implode. I can never remember which, so to save humanity (just in case) I make sure I get 4.0s.

  12. Robin- The homework itself confuses me already, and then the due dates just compound the situation.

    Sorry- I don't know how to sign up again for follow up comments. Does anyone else know? I can barely post a blog.

    Windy- I was going to post a pic of a needle, but even I'm too scared of those.

    Anne- For some reason, Kid C stresses about turning in his homework. But then, on his spelling tests, he'll be all, "50% is an okay score, right? That's like totally half correct!"

    Jenni- That's a good complex to have, though, isn't it? Perfection complex? I tried to buy a perfection complex one time, but apparently it's only something you're born with.

  13. I have always found that the best way to cultivate a well behaved child is through fear. That way they know never to cross you, muahaha!

  14. Nice! Just try to correct his answer for Question 4 before he turns it in. Is Sam doing these homework assignments for him again?
    Have a great weekend!

  15. I think I need that bumper sticker. On second thought, I'll just print out this post, memorize it, and then repeat it to my sons every time we turn in homework.

  16. Lulabell- Spare the child, save the rod. that's how it goes, right?

    silly Kent... It's all about fuzzy math these days. Kid C gave the creative answer on Number 4.

    L.T.- Uh oh. I'd hate to be personally responsible for your child's therapy bills!