Tuesday, April 23, 2013

How When it Comes to Love, My Mom Duped me. And then I Duped Kid C

My mama always told me to keep the guys guessing, and never let 'em see you swoon. So the other day, Kid C was talking to me about a few girls that he likes. I tried to dispense a little bit of similar motherly advice. 

me: "So, you know, if you like a girl, you might want to play it cool-"

Kid C holds his hand up, as if to say I got this. 

Kid C: "I know, mom. I know. It's called 'playing hard to get'."

I guess I've been talking to him about it more than I thought.

me: "So what do you think that means?"

Kid C: "It means I avoid her. And I tell her that I like other girls. I don't go as far as to tell her I hate her, or trip her or anything, but I make sure she knows I don't like her much, and I'd rather be near someone else."

me (with a sigh, thinking I may have overshot the whole "playing hard to get" lesson for years...): "Okay, let's start over. Let's practice starting a conversation with her."

Kid c: (BLANK LOOK)

me: "You know, like 'Hey! How are you?'"

Kid C: (BLANK LOOK)

And I realize it's too late. I've already indoctrinated him with the hard to get mentality. Suddenly, my high school social life (or lack thereof) flashes before my eyes. 

I remember my agent, after reading my book, said to me, "It seems like the main character doesn't like the main love interest very much."

I was stunned. I was all, "She LOVES him! How did you not get that?"

He's all, "Well how does she show it?"

Me: "Didn't you see her run out of the room every time he walked in? And then that one scene where she yells at him? and tells him she hates him?? If that's not love..." My voice faded off. 

Him: "Um... Yeah..."

Me (lightning strikes): "Ahhhhh. That's not love." And  then, shaking my fist in the air: "CURSES MOM!! I was DUPED!"

I'm so sorry, Kid C. 

9 comments:

  1. Ahhhh love it Brodi!! Let me just say having witnessed this technique first hand, you were not entirely duped, it totally worked for you - not just anyone can pull it off though.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I think you are being very charitable, old friend!

      Delete
  2. This comment has been removed by the author.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Posted before I was done!
    This kind of breaks my heart, but it's not too late to deprogram!
    (Also it explains a lot about Carlos, my third-grade nemesis...)

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I'm betting Carlos secretly loved you. Poor, unrequited love.

      Delete
  4. I was the same way. My best moves usually led me out the door.
    I didn’t start there. With the first one, I confessed my love waiting for the crossing light. She stopped walking home with me.
    For the next, I took my glasses off as we passed in the hall and made sure I stared at her across the room until she noticed. This, somehow, did not sweep her off her feet.
    So I overcompensated for my failures and became “hard to get.”
    In the end, I think it was just easier to be invisible than to figure out how to talk to girls.
    Just encourage him for his efforts, not his outcomes, and hopefully he won’t give up.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Thanks for the tips!! I shall now take my glasses off and stare at the boy across the room. I'll let you know what happens. :)

      Delete
  5. Omg Brodi, dont worry about it, Kid C wilk be fine. Im sure ur motherly attributes are a step up from ur own mother and in 20 years, Kid C wont be cursing u. i have faith ;)

    ReplyDelete
  6. Hahaha! There's still time,kid C! Undo it! :)

    ReplyDelete