Wednesday, August 13, 2014

My Puppy Ate a Bee. That is not a Euphemism.

Let me start out this post by saying my puppy is totally fine. 

But this morning, Jewels was sitting on the porch, and this bee starts flying around her head. She watches it for a few seconds, and then she leaps toward it and gulps it down. 

Yep. My puppy ate a bee. 

She shook her head several times, which makes sense because bees can be hard to swallow.

I want to ask her about her thought process. 

Was it like this: 
Hey! It's flying... It's yellow... It has a stinger... It must be FOOD!!!

Or maybe:
I wonder if it will still make that buzzing sound on the inside? I MUST KNOW!!

Or maybe:
If I ingest it, I might acquire its powers. I've always wanted to fly! (Spoiler alert: she can't fly).

It's not like she was hungry. She'd just had breakfast and a puppy treat. No, she made a conscious decision to eat the bee, and then she snatched it out of the air like a frog would snatch a fly. 

Kid C is very worried about her. After all, there's a chance the bee might sting Jewels on its way out. I tried to assure him that Jewels' digestive juices will probably disintegrate the stinger. Because these are things moms just know. Mother's intuition, call it. Like don't swim after eating... I know you're hiding something behind your back... Puppy digestive juices will take care of a stinger pre-defecation...

She's sleeping peacefully right now. That is hopefully a sign the bee is dead.

We learned a powerful lesson today, which is: How do you eat a bee? One bite at a time.

Thursday, August 7, 2014

My Latest Book News! And introducing the Lady Janies.

Hey y'all! 

So some of you mentioned the fact that my writing advice introductory video doesn't have any actual writing advice.

This is for two reasons:

1. It's an introductory video.

2. Mama always said, if you want the milk, you have to milk the cow. 

Wait a second. She said if you want to pay for milk, you have to buy a cow. No, wait. If you want to attract a cow, don't buy milk from another cow. Actually I'm not sure how the saying goes. But I'm pretty sure she meant, "If you want writing advice, you'll have to wait until the person giving the advice makes a video about it."

Secondly, I have some great news! I'm writing a book with my besties Cynthia Hand (the Unearthly series) and Jodi Meadows (the Incarnate series) and HarperCollins just bought it!

Here's the announcement:

Told in the vein of The Princess Bride
Comic retelling of a girl who was queen for nine days and then got her head chopped off! Hilarious!

We are so excited! Here is our own YouTube discussion of the project, and our introduction to the Lady Janies YouTube channel! (You can subscribe if you feel so inclined. We will have lots of fun stuff going on there, like giveaways and shenanigans and chaos). 

So, that's the latest!