Wednesday, June 3, 2009

I'm Never Gonna Blog Again... Guilty Hands have got no Type Skillz. And Some Cover Art

I apologize in advance, this post is kind of ranty...

So, ideas come to me mostly in three different places.

1. In the shower. (By far the most common)
2. Driving in the car.
3. When I'm trying to go to sleep. (These ideas seem totally brilliant at the time, but usually end up being totally useless. Remember this post?)

When I'm working it through in my head, my surroundings tend to get a little blurry, and that's what happened last night when I was driving home. (I know, safe driving, right?)

I was basically auto-bot driving - letting the creative fluids flow - when I started to get a little antsy, and then a little itchy. I pulled at my ears and scratched the back of my head like a dog infested with fleas. Something was clearly buggin', but I was so absorbed in the story in my head, it took me a while to realize just how squidgy I was.

It wasn't until my neck broke out in hives, and I was pulling at the collar of my shirt that I finally left the scene in my head and yelled at my steering wheel, "Why am I so freakin' peeved?!"

Then I noticed the song playing on the radio. Seether's cover of George Michaels' Careless Whisper.

(If you were lucky enough to forget this song, you can refresh your memory below. Otherwise, don't bother)

There was only one way to explain my symptoms; I was having an anaphylactic reaction to the line "Guilty Feet have got no rhythm," because I was subconsciously incorporating it into the dialogue in my head, and I kept thinking to myself, Who says lines like this?

"Rhett, you came back!"

"Yes, Scarlett, but I'm afraid I'm never gonna dance again. It appears guilty feet have got no rhythm."

"Oh. Okay. Did we dance before?"

It was bad enough having to dance to George Michael's version at my seventh grade stomp with Jimmy "Moist Hands" Perry. Now, 5 years... okay, ten years later... give or take...a lot... I have it stuck in my head again.

What does guilt have to do with rhythm? Michael Jackson never had a problem with rhythm, and you'd think if anyone had guilty feet...

I literally pulled a jaw muscle, the incident bugged me so bad.

"Lightning strikes happen, as this video shows..."

Ummm... thanks for the alert?


"Let's make this a Cryptosporidium-Free Summer!"

Like the "Summer of '69" and the "Boys of Summer", this new theme is just begging for a song.

Whew. Thank you for listening. I feel better now.


So this post veered off topic rather quickly. Originally I wanted to discuss in depth book cover art, but this post is too long already. So, to make a long post short (too late)...

My friend Valynne discovered this blog about look-a-like covers. It's pretty fascinating.

I'm a sucker for a good cover. My all-time favorite cover is for Wicked Lovely.
I will buy any book with a cover like that.

Conversely there is one art theme that makes me scratch behind the ears and pull at my collar: crazy babies.

Now, these books may all be wonderful, but I will never find out.

1. Crazy babies falling from the sky, about to be impaled by a house.
2. Gigantic crazy babies, faceless and coming for me.
3. Babies conspiring against me. Always a strong prophylactic.
What covers do you love? Any that totally stick out?

So, I signed up for a tennis tournament, and my first match is on Thursday night. Sometimes I feel like I'm cruisin' for a bruisin' and I wonder why I put myself through such humiliation. Wish me luck.


  1. FWIW, it must be you as that is truly a beautiful song with inspired lyrics.

    I love the baby book pics. I really liked the first one with the baby that was chucked 45 feet into the air...and if you look closely, the dad that threw him up there does not have hands. Seriously, look closely. I think we know that this will not end well when gravity decides to flex its muscles on this poor baby.

    I am pumped to cheer you on in the tourney. I will bring my 'A+' heckling game.

  2. Sam- I didn't notice the lack of hands. That poor baby! What kind of hand-less father would throw his own kid in the air?

  3. any cover that features heaving bosoms and feathered hair do it for me.

  4. Shell- Totally. A bodice being ripped is always good too.

  5. I don't really buy books based on the cover, but I DO go to PW to read a review to see if I should read a book based on its cover! I thought A Great and Terrible Beauty was excellent--but after review reading, decided not to buy it. Anything that looks beautiful and eerie at the same time captures my interest, like A Northern Light and Twilight. I also seem to pay attention to white covers, like The White Darkness, Sweethearts, and The Way He Lived. And I love The Chosen One and Once Was Lost covers, but I may be biased in those instances since I already like the authors.

  6. Good luck on the tourney!!

    Those baby covers are disturbing.

    Hives are evil and should be eliminated, why hasn't modern medicine figured that out yet?

    I'm trying to keep my post succinct, is it working?

  7. Tennis tournaments time of year eh? Is it it singles or doubles? Good luck!

    I'm gonna have to consider the books I've read this past year, I'm not recalling any right off that struck me as odd, although I do judge a book by it's cover as I'm an avid 'browse through the isle' fan.

  8. Strawberry..........and it was WONDERFUL. Did you feel it? Maybe we can talk sometime. I'd love to chat about the details. Kenny

  9. Kim- Those all have great covers- especially The Chosen One and The Way He Lived.

    Una- I like the long comments!

    Debbie- Singles, and my favorite thing is to browse the aisles at a book store. On my last birthday, Sam took me to TKE and we just browsed. I'm a cheap date.

    Kenny- Summer's a good time for strawberry. Glad you enjoyed it.

  10. There's nothing wrong with being a cheap date. One of my favorites with my hubby is going to Costco. Walking up and down the aisles looking at stuff and being in awe of what some people will buy in bulk.

  11. Una- I love Costco! I'm probably one of those people where you would marvel at the junk I buy.

  12. Oh man, I have not laughed that hard in a long time. How did we think George Michael was so hot back then? Awesome. You rock, you tennis star. Now go bring it! (Was that inspirational or just weird? Enjoy the sentiment either way. Good luck!)

  13. Keersten- Totally inspirational. I will bring it!

  14. Wow. I have never broken out in hives because something irritated me so much. Do you do that often?

    As far as covers, I'm with you about crazy babies. They creep me out. My favorite covers are anything that bring an element of fantasy to them. I love the Harry Potter covers and I love the Mortal Instruments covers. I also like covers with real people on them as long as you don't really see their faces. I don't like having the image of the person's face on the cover when I'm reading about the character. I like to imagine the character on my own and I don't want help with the face.

  15. Jenni- I totally agree about not showing the entire face. I don't like to have the picture in my head either.

  16. I just remember in High School (Four Score and Seven years ago), that a boy named T.E. sang the Depeche Mode song "I want somebody to love for the rest of my life" for our talent show. It was brutal. Let me just say that I can never listen to that song again without thinking of his rendition of it. It makes me very uncomfortable. In fact, I'm feeling that anaphalactic shock coming on right now...

  17. Erin- T.E. just emailed me to say he's offended. He said he had a head cold that day.