Monday, March 22, 2010

Princess for Hire Book Signing, My fish Keep Dying, and a really lame lunch discussion

Thing 1
Um... evil Chopester died. And then our snail, Quid, died. Apparently we're the only ones in the universe who can't keep "unkillable" fish alive.

I was ready to pack up the aquarium and call it a life, but then Sam came home from the pet store with another one. We cleaned out the tank of death really well, and we used more bleach than ever, so our new little bugger, Chopes, would feel at home. Please don't report us to PETA.

I'm trying not to get attached. Chopes will flare his gorgeous fins, and Sam will be all, "It's so beautiful!" and I'll be all, "Meh. Whatev's." and Sam's all, "Look at the fins...  they're like golden fiery spikes!"

Thing 2:

I went to Lindsey Leavitt's book signing for Princess for Hire. She did a great job- totally down to earth and delightful- and she had a great turnout.
(Catie, me, Lindsey, Valynne, Emily, Sarah- who's book comes out April 17th)

She read from her book, and she also made little goody bags with candy necklaces and little tiaras. Several little girls showed up in full princess regalia. (Did I use that word right? Regalia? It doesn't sound right, and the more I look at it, the wronger it sounds...) 

Afterward we went to the Dodo, where my mouth ran amok. As usual. This time the discussion started with the Chippendales vs. the Thunder from Down Under, and ended with me ranting about how the sexual orientation of strippers shouldn't shouldn't matter.


My impassioned argument was strange for several reasons because:

1. I've never been to either show.
2. I have no plans to go to either show.
3. So why do I care that the Chippendales look more feminine than the Thunder from Down Unders?
4. I mean, no one was arguing with me, and yet...
5. I kept repeating myself.
4. And my voice kept getting louder and louder and the nice women who were brunching right behind us looked disgusted...
5. Because women who "brunch" as a verb shouldn't be exposed to such filth.
6. Yes, I just said "exposed" while talking about strippers, and I just giggled to myself in my kitchen
7. And it comes full circle- I need to grow up.
8. That's what she said.

How was y'all's weekend?


  1. never. go. to. either. show. I swear I'm scarred for life...and that was just for a bachelorette party. That said, it was hilarious. Anyhoo, my weekend was uneventful, and that Princess for Hire signing looks like it was fun! :)

  2. It could be the bleach you're using that kills your fish. I read somewhere that you're supposed to let the water sit for about 48 hours, so that the chlorine evaporates out of it. Then, your fish should live. Sorry you've gone through two fish and a snail. That's just sad. *tear*

    I do agree that the Chippendales look more feminine in their get up, but I ain't complaining. Both of those men have some really nice looking chests! And, I don't even feel like a perv because they're all over 18! Who needs Taylor Lautner.

  3. Melissa- point taken. I'll try my hardest not to go!

    Jenni- You're right. At least the posters give us permission to swoon over chests that aren't underage.

  4. First of all, as far as fish, we always have a Beta in the house. The reason is because the person at the pet store told us that they don't like to be fed too much, the only like small cramped bowls. They like dirty water better than clean water and it's best just to leave them alone--the perfect fish for me! We had one live almost five years!

    Second, you accomplished the impossible--I look good in that photo. You all always look gorgeous, but I generally look like a fat, shiny weirdo--no, I'n not being falsely modest, it's just the truth. This one--we all look great. I bow to the photographer.

  5. Sarah- You do look great in that photo, but then I always think you look great. Maybe it was my high-tech camera/phone.

    As for the fish, I'll try not to clean the bowl. But I can't help it. You can't tell from looking at my house, but I do love myself a clean fishbowl.

  6. It was so much fun! The funniest part was the Ladies behind you making faces about your stripper conversation.
    I realized I found Sarah's site awhile back, but I had no idea who she was.

  7. You're so funny! I loved that whole "Michael Scott" ending there. ;)

    Good luck with the fish of the fiery fins!

  8. You're so funny! I loved that whole "Michael Scott" ending there. ;)

    Good luck with the fish of the fiery fins!

  9. Good luck with the new fish. Perhaps you need to put a shark in there. Maybe with the added risk it'll end up randomly really working out instead of not. Ok sorry I'm running on little sleep here.

  10. I totally understood what you were saying about the sexual orientation of strippers. Because, after all, I believe in tolerance and think we should all embrace strippers of all colors and orientations.

  11. Good luck with the new fish. I have also heard that Beta's do well in less than sterile environments since they like to eat algae. What do the kids think of Chopes?

    There's nothing better than horrifying the table next to you! At least no one asked you to leave which is a sure sign you were too's an artform to keep it to an acceptable volume that allows for the *horrification of nearby patrons but not too loud to oust you by staff!

    *yes, this is a Unaland!

    ETA: my word verification was Sessels. Hmmm, what is a sessel?

  12. I could never keep my fish alive in college either. I don't have fish anymore.

  13. Catie- Thanks for hanging out!

    L.T.- Your comment was so great, it repeated itself. Thanks!

    Debbie- I don't know what you're talking about- that totally makes sense. Where can I get me a shark?

    Valynne- I'm for E.O.S. Equal Opportunity Strippers.

    Una- Horrification is totally a word. And I can only hope someone would describe my rant about strippers as an "artform".

  14. Tamara- That makes me feel better. Murderers love company.

  15. The bleach is a sure way to kill the fish.
    I kept a beta for over two years. After it died I realized that I never fed the fish on weekends. But it seemed to thrive even with the weekly neglect.

    If I were to attend a stripper show (which, will never happen) I'd definitely go to Thunder from Down Under. Chippendales just sounds like a type of furniture or some happy little animated rodents.

  16. Oh, just what I needed - a little Monday Brodi humor. Thanks for the pick-me-up!

  17. Kayla- Truth be told, I didn't actually use bleach. But I wanted to. I always wondered which came first: the Chippendale strippers or Chip 'N Dale of Disney cartoon fame. Is that like a chicken or the egg conundrum?

    Melissa- Nothing brightens Mondays like dead fish and strippers...

  18. I can't believe your snail died too. You're on a killing spree. Sam needs to stop buying more fish and just get those hermit crab. I swear they don't die. Or turtles. Our turtle is still alive and I don't know what the heck it eats. I've tried everything: lettuce, strawberries, grapes, worms and the dang thing just sits there and lets the food rot. Maybe it eats through osmosis...or maybe it's trying to hurry it's life up so it can get out of our house. Sorry to be 'Debbie Downer' on your blog. I'll end it now.

  19. I am SO loving the word "wronger"!

    And bad karma with the Chopes fishies. So sorry!

  20. A moment of silence for all of your dead fishies...
    My kids fed ours pineapple and Captain Crunch (and the fish lived to tell the tale!)

    As far as Erin's turtle goes, I knew a guy whose turtle loved hot dogs... worth a try???

    And the strippers... I'm more into the jeans and scruffy look -- much more masculine.

  21. Oh my gosh, I'm still giggling over your arguments. However, though I've never been to either show nor plan to go to either show also, I have to agree: Chippendales are more fem looking than the Thunder.

    And we just had a fish die too. It was sad. :(

  22. Erin - I've had a hermit crab. Yup they are quite hardy until they need to shed their shell and get a new one. This is a death sentence for them when their owner doesn't know that tid bit of info, kept them in the kitchen (too warm it seems) so they die of dehydration because there is no new shell and they run out of water quickly when out of their shells.

    But if you know this, then, sure, they are mighty hardy!

  23. I've never had much luck with fish either. My brother-in-law seems to do better...but it could be that's just due to the sheer number of fish and tanks that he has. Plus they keep reproducing.

    Highlight of my weekend was a round of Pizza Box Tic-Tac-Toe with the kids in the youth group (I volunteer). Instead of carrying the pizza boxes downstairs at the end of the night, the volunteers and anyone who is left because their parents have forgotten about them play tic-tac-toe by dropping the boxes from the balcony over the fellowship hall (which just so happens to have a stained concrete floor that's scored to look like it's big tiles).
    We play "tops" vs "bottoms" rather than X's vs O's and, if someone is really feeling ambitious (or left out because they didn't get to play...again), they'll run down and bring the boxes back up for another round.
    It's silly but it's also a whole lot of fun. And it means we never have to carry another pizza box downstairs every again. Woo-hoo!

  24. Erin- Thanks Debbie.

    Cath- Made up words are my favorite words. Like Bombtastic.

    Shauna- Thanks for the input. I agree- jeans beat bowties any day.

    Windy- Not that there's anything wrong with looking more feminine...

    Una- I always thought hermit crabs were attached to their shells, like turtles. That's crazy! Little naked crabs, looking for another home/shirt.

    Rue- That pizza box tic tac toe sounds fabulous. Maybe I can climb up to my roof and invite neighbors over for a quick game of it. It's bound to catch on!

  25. Brody,
    Look! I'm commenting and not silent stalking.
    Thanks so much for coming on Saturday. Bummed I missed out on the stripper debate. I'm so pro-TDU (that's what we call them around these parts. Get it? PARTS)

  26. Lindsey- Parts... he he. Thanks for commenting! Sorry your cool book had to share a post with strippers.

  27. Wow, another one bites the dust? Crazy.

    Nemo is still alive.... but spends a fair amount of time laying at the bottom. On his side. Can't be healthy. He does seem to do better when we clean his water, though, so I can't bring myself to not clean it.

    Word verification-- refuscei. Could totally be a new alien in the world of Star Trek...

  28. Britt- or Refusci could mean "Refusal to face reality that I can't keep fish alive". I mean me, not you.