I'm neck-deep in working through my revision letter, or as I like to call it, my H-E-L-L. (Help Edit and Learn Letter).
The major conclusions I've reached from this round of revisions are as follows:
1. My high school boyfriend was right. I am a cold, frigid beeyatch who doesn't know how to express her (or her character's) feelings.
2. No matter how many "flinch"s you think you've deleted, your editor is sure to find 84 more.
3. I've tried, but there really is no appropriate time to insert a scene about loss of sphincter control. Looks like I'll have to wait for the next book.
So, before I dive back in, here is this week's Thing #1 and Thing #1
The other morning, as I'm still sleeping, Kid C comes rushing into my room.
Kid C: "Brodi, if you need me, I'll be brushing my teeth."
me (thinking I'm asleep, why would i need him?): "Okay great."
A few minutes later, he says, "If you need me, I'll be washing my hands."
A few minutes later: "If you need me, I'll be doing my hair."
Then I hear strange noises coming from the bathroom. I walk in and find he's plastered his hair with my conditioner that smells like apples. His entire head is covered in goo. And his carpool will be here any minute.
me: "What are you doing?!?!"
him: "Trying to make a mohawk. I have to look my best today."
So, I shoved his head under the sink, rinsed the gunk out, plastered his hair with hairspray and applied the blow dryer, and voila:
Kid C. Ready to impress his girl. Her name's Laurelyn, but he likes to call her "Love-a-lyn".
Somebody help me.
I can tell revisions are getting to me, because Sam and I went to see a movie the other day, and as we walked out, we were checking the movie posters for upcoming shows we wanted to see.
I was all, "Ooooh. That one looks good." (pointing at one of the framed posters)
Sam: "Which one?"
me: "That one. With the zombie people. And the infection. That's so our type of show."
Sam gives me a really confused look.
me: "Because we like zombie shows. And virus shows. And I think it's called Epidemic, but the title's hard to read... And... why are you looking at me like that?"
He points to the poster I was describing, and I take a closer look.
Whoops. Yeah, he didn't stop laughing for a long time. And then he took this picture, so I had to hurry and blog about it before he did a more embarrassing post on his own blog.
I know, I know. How could it be more embarrassing?
Please tell me I'm not the only one who has moments like these.