Monday, December 13, 2010

My Monday Top Five: Including an Agent with Superpowers, and the answer to Which Jane Austen Character am I?

Hey y'all. Here are the top five things going on in my noggin:

1. From Old/old/new to old/new/new to new/new/new.

So, I think it was pretty obvious that although people liked the clean lines of the old/new blog, it left them with a cold, sterile, lemon-juice-in-a-papercut-ish kind of feeling. 

Although that's how I feel about the writing life in general, I would hate for people to think they needed a bandaid after reading my blog.

Blogs should be harmless. Not jagged. It's sort of a general rule.

So, I present to you, the warmer, gentler new/new blog. What do you think?

2. I also worked on a Frequently Asked Questions tab. Let me know what questions I'm missing! I'd like to get a big-ole long list about anything to do with me, publishing, queries, agents, shoe sizes etc.

3. I took the "Which Jane Austen Character are You?" quiz over at fellow Apocalypsie Gretchen McNeil's blog. 

I came up with Elinor Dashwood. 

Strangely, she's the only Jane Austen character I never really identified with. I know everyone wants to be Elizabeth Bennett, but I really wanted to be Anne Elliot. 

She is my favorite Austen heroine- serene and dependable. Which, I guess, answers the question of why I didn't score her.

4. Did you notice how I used a strange word "Apocalypsie" in that last one? The apocalypsies are a group of children's authors who are debuting in the year 2012. Get it? 

I think our slogan is "Read 'em like there's no tomorrow". The problem is, when I used to dream of being published, I was sure the world would end before my book came out. 

Now this all sounds a little too ominous. When people ask me, "When's your book coming out?" I have a habit of answering, "Winter 2012. If... we make it that far. [crossing fingers] Here's hoping!"

5. Speaking of ominous, my deadline is 9 short days away, and I'll admit I'm a little stressed. I try not to show it, but the other day I responded to an email my agent sent me with this:

"Okay. Great."

One minute later, my phone rang. It was my agent. He told me my email arrived in his inbox practically bleeding stress. It made a mess of his computer, and shorted out a few wires. They had to call hazmat crews over to deal with the toxic disaster.

To him, my email looked like this:

S.O.S. If I don't get this stupid scene written, I'm going to commit suicide by friction, because I think that would be the absolute worst way to go, even worse than freezing to death, or being burned alive. Send help. Send chocolate.

Thank the heavens for an agent who can read between the lines, and talk me down from the edge.

So, what's everyone up to? Who is your favorite Jane Austen heroine? Can you think of anything worse than death by friction?


  1. Death by friction does sound pretty terrible, but it leaves me wondering, how exactly does it work?

  2. You can do it!!

    Notice how calm and happy I sound. Yep. You guessed it. I haven't received my edits yet.

  3. Lulabell- It would involve something like an armchair rubbing against your skin until the skin is worn down and eventually disappears.

    It's a lengthy process.

    Shari- Oh man. Enjoy the time!

  4. The new blog look totally POPS. Very impressive. Thanks for letting me know that the full body picture of me in your blog banner came in a close second place.

    When you are desperate for new readers, put that banner of me up on your blog and watch all of the, uh, probably would end up driving some readers away from your blog. Oh well. The new blog look totally rocks though.

  5. Sam- Don't be silly. I'm saving that banner for later. Wink wink.

  6. The new blog looks great. It does feel a little bit warmer.

    I must ask type of friction would be killing you? Depending on the friction, death by friction could actually be nice. *evil grin*

    I've only read one Jane Austen novel and that was Mansfield Park. There really were any noteworthy heroines in that book since Fanny is a weakling and the other women are EVIL.

  7. I like the new blog design. It feels warmer.

    I took that "which JA heroine are you?" and got Catherine Morland. You know, that one girl from that one story no one's ever heard of. You has Emma Thompson!

  8. Jenni- That can absolutely not be the only J.A. novel you read! You have to give P&P a chance, or even Emma or Persuasion. But don't let Mansfield Park be your only foray into the world of Austen!!

    p.s. Death by friction... from the outside in. Just to be specific.

  9. Heather- Catherine Morland? How does anyone get her? :)

    I'm glad you like the blog. Coming from a real artist like yourself, it means doubly extra!

  10. I got Jane Fairfax. Although I was 1 point away from Elizabeth Bennett, so I'm almost cool. My favorite JA character, though, is Catherine Moreland because she makes me laugh. But she's not even on the list.

  11. Jenilyn- Wait! Heather says she got Catherine Morland. I'm going to have to do some investigating.*

    *Not really, because I should be revising.

  12. Sorry: correction--I took the quiz earlier on Facebook. Different quizzes. But i'm sure I'd get the same one. Even though she's not there.

  13. I feel a writer's moral obligation to thank you for spelling Jane Austen's name correctly. If you can spell it correctly (and if you care), that makes you book people for sure.

  14. I think I would be Gweneth Paltrow in the Jane Austin survey. Even though she plays Emma, I think she and I are like twins. Tall, blond, beautiful...she's a great feminine hero of Jane Austins :)

    Good luck with your revisions!

  15. Heather- Oooh. I want to take the FB one! Here's hoping for Anne Elliot. *crosses fingers*

    Kaylie- I grew up thinking there was no other way to spell it! The consequences of a mom who is an English teacher.

    Erin- You're totally twins with Emma! Meddling in other people's lives (in a cute way), match-making (to other people's detriment... uh, I mean, happiness), and marrying an older man! :)

  16. I can think of a worse way to die, but I won't post it because I think people are still mad about the house centipede thing. :)

  17. Jill- Oh, that house centipede. Nightmares, babe. Nightmares.

    How about being eaten by house centipedes as a worse way to go than death by friction?

  18. I like the new-new-new, but I liked the old-new-new as well. This one, with all the firey reds, does remind me more of hell. In a good, makes-me-think-of-Everneath kind of way. Not that I've been there. Yet.

    You are working on those revisions, yes?

    What about death by revision? Forced to revise until your brain explodes? It would probably take longer than friction, and it's so much more dramatic at the end.

    Ask me for FAQ suggestions again on Friday. :) (You ARE going to advertise here, right?)

  19. Oops. I am definitely going to advertise on my blog. Wednesday. That's the plan. (It's on thursday, right?)

  20. Wednesday would be perfect. Unless you want to do a bonus Thursday post. Which I'll absolutely suggest if you forget on Wednesday. :)

    Yes, it's on Thursday. :)

  21. awww, your blog is all warm and fuzzy now! I have to say, this one doesn't have that whole ice queen vibe I sort of got from the last one ;)

    as for death by friction ... haha at first I thought you said death by fiction! ROFLMAO!!

  22. What a great agent!

    And, I loved that quiz! I got Elizabeth Bennett. :)

  23. Windy- Death by fiction! Ha ha! I'm glad you like the new colors. Because really you were the only one complaining about the old ones.

    Kidding! Everyone complained. :)

    Sara- You lucky girl. To be Miss Eliza Bennett. She rocks!

  24. I choose Keira Knightly as my favorite. Does that count???

    Thinking about you! Good luck on your revisions!

    Love the new blog look its very "classy lady chic"

  25. Love love LOVE your new blog. All the other versions (old/old/new and old/new/new....did I get that right?) were very good too. But I really do like the new/new/new. It is warm and welcoming. Something that is very nice during the cold months of winter.

    I'll just say that Elizabeth Bennet is definitely my favorite Jane Austen heroine. Pride and Prejudice is an amazing story! I may have to take that quiz later...

    Exciting news! Remember your post about compiling a holiday booklist? Well, I ordered my copy of "Matched" by Ally Condie, and it finally arrived today! So happy! I am going to start reading it tonight! :)

  26. Worse than death by friction? Yes. This Christmas Eve I will be fed things I don't want to eat. EVER. It's the perils of living in France and eating at the French in-laws. On the menu? They mentioned deer. How in the world am I going to get out of eating Bambi? Oh, I feel a blog post coming on.

  27. Shellie- Keira Knightley is one of my favorite Jane Austen characters! Why wasn't she on the list?

    Kristin- Thanks for reminding me I need to actually post our Christmas book list! I hope you enjoy Matched. I was lucky enough to get to read an ARC, and it was brilliant.

    Samantha- Eating Bambi would be a very bad way to go. (And it's definitely worth a blog post!) It would be funny, though, if at the very end of the movie, right after the "And they all lived happily ever after...", Bambi ended up on someone's dinner plate.

    Okay, maybe not funny, ha ha. More like funny, ewwwwww.