Friday, January 7, 2011

Observations from the Author Photo Shoot: There is a right and a wrong way to wear Spanx.

 Hey y'all. Here's a report from my photo shoot:

1. Park City is cold in January.

We took the photos on Main Street in Park City, because that's where much of my book takes place. 
Not only is it cold, but there are a lot of skiers who roam the streets, so no matter where we went, we had an audience. Most of the people watching had a visible little thought bubble above their heads that said:

Is she supposed to be someone famous?

How can someone with such big cheeks be famous?

I think this is because the Sundance Film Festival is coming up. I wanted to tell them, "I'm no one. I actually paid this poor girl to take my picture."

And... it was cold.

2.  It doesn't matter how many cute outfits you pick out. If you're stupid enough to get your pictures taken in Park City in the winter, you have just one outfit. A coat.
That's me in the white coat, and I don't know who that other person is. Often when I casually lean against a metal wall, someone inevitably shows up with a camera.

Of course I'm kidding. That's really my awesome photographer Opie, and she did a great job of telling me when to smile big and when to look serious. 

I brought several outfits to the shoot, and when Opie saw them, she said, "Um... those are all five different versions of the same outfit" because I only ever wear black ONLY EVER and I never wear color NEVER EVER.

Thankfully, my mom had the foresight to bring along a red scarf. Remember the one I was making fun of?

3. If you're going to wear spanx, make sure you wear them correctly.

I decided to give spanx a try. They were the kind you wear under a shirt, and they're supposed to cover everything but... um... the sisters. Unfortunately, I didn't know this. I accidentally put it on backward, like a swimsuit, so that it was completely smashing everything on my chest (which isn't necessarily a bad thing).

When I looked in the mirror, I was flat as a pancake. Then I turned around to discover I had an awesome rack (with cleavage) coming out my back. It looked like someone had put my head on backward.

Thankfully, the Nordstrom girl came in and pointed out the error of my ways, all the while trying to stifle a giggle. 

But, for one shining moment... I was flat. From a certain angle.

4. I got a few pics with my honey. (No, not Rafa. The other honey.)

5. I got a sneak peek of my photos in an online gallery, and I'm amazed at what miracles a professional photographer can pull off. I can't wait to show y'all!


  1. See? Awesome is the skill of a talented photographer.

  2. Robin- Did you notice my "subscribe by email" button? :)

  3. LOL--I was actually sitting here debating the silliness of posting another comment about how yes, I did notice it, used it, and now would not have to post extra comments just to get the follow-up comments emailed to me. :) But, hey. You asked. :D

  4. I see what you've done. You've combined Bree's fab picture by leaning against a wall, BUT you made it your own by making it corrugated metal instead of brick. THEN you took Emily's awesome pic with the sidelong glance and threw your own Brodi magic into that as well. Well played, Ms. Ashton. Well played.

  5. Robin- I'm glad you said something! I did it for you! And it took me hours.


    nkrell- I wish I could say that much thought went into it! But I did learn how to master the sidelong glance.

  6. how fun brodi! i'm sure they're GREAT! (the pictures).

  7. My big question is did you smolder? I bet they look great. Authoritative yet approachable, chic yet cheeked. :D I can't wait to read this baby.

  8. Brr. Just looking at those pictures makes me cold--I'm glad you survived! I'm excited to see the results!

  9. I'll be honest...I think a lot of people will be disappointed to not see my abs in any of the pictures. Oh well. You look fabulous by the way, as usual.

  10. Dorien- They did turn out great! The pictures too.

    Keersten- I threw away every picture that didn't smolder. It was one of my stipulations in the photographer contract.

    Jenilyn- Yeah, it was freezing. FRRRRREEEEEEZING.

    Sam- You can show me your abs later.

  11. I need to find another abbreviation besides LOL or ROFLMAO...I despise them both...but this cracked me up. Spanx will never look the same to me. :)

  12. What is spanx? I'm going to have to look this up, but it sounds like something I shouldn't Google at work. I'm glad you like your pictures. I can't wait to see them.

  13. I can already tell your picture's going to look darn good!

  14. Can you blame the bystanders? Someone was obviously taking pictures of someone taking pictures of you. You MUST be famous!

    I have a feeling that in the next few years, yours will be a household name, and not just 'round these parts.

  15. Charissa- PMPF... Peed My Pants Funny? Thanks!

    Jenni- you haven't heard of spanx? Lose 10 pounds in 2 minutes! At least, that's what it's supposed to do...

    Stephanie- Thanks for the faith!

    Heather- Just to add to it, I had Sam take pics of my mom taking pics of Opie taking pics of me.

    And p.s. I'm not even a household name in my own household.

  16. I do like the touch of the red scarf. But I can't help wondering - will your picture be printed in color in the book? So perhaps adding some soft grays to your black wardrobe would be sufficient.

  17. How exciting! Can't wait to see the end result. And that spanx thing is hilarious. I didn't know you could even put them on backwards!

  18. Heids- you have a great point. Perhaps I'll add some variety to my wardrobe by purchasing a few charcoal numbers!

    Lulabell- If there's a wrong way to wear something, I'll find it every time.

  19. After reading several weeks of your blog I can only say...
    if your book is only half as enjoyable and witty, you have a hit on your hands! Thank you for giving me a great new place to stop and laugh.

  20. Sue Ellen- Thanks for reading and laughing! Because if a tree fell in a forest, and no one laughed, would it even be funny? No.

  21. ROFL

    You and your honey look sweet together.