Wednesday, September 21, 2011

Why I'm Not Even Trying Anymore...

I'll be honest: Most days I don't shower. When choosing an outfit for the day, I say to myself, "I think I'm on day four of this particular jeans and t-shirt combo. Should we go for five?" Then I smell the armpits.

Inevitably, I answer "yes". 

Then when I go to do my makeup, I think, "I'm just gonna have to wash it off again tonight..."

So it's not like I'm known as "Brodi Ashton: She cared too much about her appearance."

But online, I'm a different person. I'm a little like a wilting flower.

Up until yesterday, I had things like Google searches for my name or for key words like EVERNEATH. But it's becoming a bit overwhelming, especially since a billion ARCs of EVERNEATH went out to bloggers last week. 

So I de-brodi-fied my computer. No alerts. No twitter phrase searches. No checking goodreads. 

And it felt GOOOOOOOD.

But then this morning, I turn on my computer in my study, and I realize I haven't de-Brodi-fied it. A twitter message from an EVERNEATH search pops up, saying something like:

"And then there's that one EVERNEATH. It's like they're not even trying anymore!"  
(I paraphrased, because I deleted the column before I could memorize it)

I hit the "delete search" as fast as I could, but the image of that tweet is burned on my brain, like bad porn. (Yes there is good porn and bad porn).

Now that phrase is infiltrating every aspect of my life.

I was in the shower and I forgot my face soap. I was all, "Mysterious tweeter was right. It's like I'm not even trying anymore!"

I went to put on my t-shirt/jeans combo that was on day five, and again, I was all, "I'm really NOT even trying anymore!"

I started writing this blog, and was all, "Why try anymore?"

Then Sam was noticing my extreme mania this morning, and he's all, "This is what you're like on a break from revisions? I'm not even going to try to understand the mechanics of your crazy anymore."

And I said, "I'm sorry you have to live with me."
He smiled and said, "I wouldn't not have it any other way."

Me: "Wouldn't not? WOULDN'T NOT? That's a double negative! That means you would have it any other way! It's like you're not even trying anymore!"

How about you? Would you not want me no other way? Or do you read my blog and think, "She's not not even not trying anymore!"

Since I have de-brodi-fied my online experience, if you want to get my attention with something nice to say, you can contact me through my "contact me" button on my blog. (Or of course leave a comment)

If you have something negative to say, please send an email to Sam. 

ADDED: I will still be on twitter, and participating in conversations, so feel free to @reply me anytime!


  1. I loved this post! Considering I'm reading this post in my PJ's I completely understand. your mania. But I think they are totally trying and so are you!

  2. Lani- I wanted to be all, "Actually I'm trying very hard!!"

  3. Seriously, Brodi, I look forward to your blog posts probably the most of all the blogs I'm following. I love the little tidbits about your kids and your sense of humor ALWAYS makes me laugh! Your book is on my TBR list for sure :)

  4. Brodi--that person obviously didn't read your book!

    Also, you can wear the same thing five days in a row because you positively rock that look!

  5. Not a post goes by that I don't not say to myself, "It's like she's not even trying anymore."

    But then, we all know that you don't even have to try to be this awesome.

  6. This post made me love you even more from meeting you the other night! I know I'm going to love your book. :)

    I know what you mean about not trying anymore. I de-Michelle-ified my computer a long time ago.

  7. I was thinking about saying something like "Brush it off," or "Don't let it bother you," but when someone says something like that about something that is a basically an appendage of who you are, it's no fun and it's super lame. BUT I will say that for every negative thing there's someone else out there who has something good to say.

  8. Booo, down with haters. Would it help if I described the hideous, hag-like appearance and complete lack of love/friendships of that one mean commenter? Would it help if I told you that same person has probably tried several times to sit down and pen a novel, but has failed halfway through each time?

    Keep on with your bad self. You have already accomplished great things, and have nothing to prove to any mean mystery strangers. And yes, rock those jeans and t-shirt for one more day.

  9. So, I can't talk to you on Twitter anymore? :( Sad. But, I understand why you're doing it. I wouldn't want to see the any of the negative stuff, even if it's minute or one thing. That would drive me insane and to a deep depression. Yeah, I get it. I'm not the only one tweeting you. I guess I'll just have to annoy you on your blog from now on ... er ... only, I mean.

    PS--I think you try plenty and Everneath is awesome and showed how much you tried AND SUCCEEDED!

  10. Thanks everyone!

    Jenni- Ack! I said it wrong. I WILL be on twitter, and participating in conversations just like always. I just won't be running SEARCHES for my name, or Everneath.

    So please, still talk to me via twitter!

  11. We love you, Brodi! And the reason you (and I) don't shower or wear make-up or do our hair is because we're working freaking hard on our books, right? Hate those voices. Remember what Uncle Ezra says: Any damn fool can tear a barn down; it takes a carpenter to build one. I'd rather be the one building, wouldn't you?

  12. Oh, please. We're always "not trying" in someone's eyes.

    And honestly? Even as a pre-agented writer I feel the pressure to do more. All the time. You read all the advice - Blog more! Comment more! Tweet more! Then EVEN MORE! More flash fiction! More poetry! More writing prompts! Then tweet about everything you just did!

    *Wipes brow from exhaustion*

    You do SO MUCH. You are Wonder Woman. You are BA. Even if you might smell a little bit. (Which, honestly? Why would I care? You're in Utah.)

  13. Do you want me to beat up the person who said that? Because I would. With words, of course. My scrawny arms wouldn't do much good in a fist fight.

    And as one of the billions graced with an ARC, I can say EVERNEATH ROCKED! Take that, naysayers!

  14. wait...are we NOT supposed to wear the same clothes 5 days in a row?

    well, i'm w/you on that one and i'm not even an author/writing/in&out of revisions kinda gal!

  15. Aaaah, just try to write. That's the important part...
    actually, just try to be a good person. That's more important.
    If you can be a pretty good person and write. SUCCESS!
    If you can be a pretty good person and write AND blog, SUPER SUCCESS!
    If you can be a pretty good person and write and blog AND still read your emails, SUPER WOMAN!!!
    the woman in the same clothes she wore yesterday.

  16. You guys rock on a day like this! Group hugs. All around.

  17. I can't even tell you how hard I laughed while reading this post. I read it out loud to two other people already today & I'm sure there will be more. Good porn/ bad porn... I'm still laughing!

  18. Oh Brod... I'm so glad you de-brodified. Seriously. You must pay no heed!! I saw you yesterday. You are trying (and caring) about all the right things. I "do not want you no other way!" Translation: don't change a thing. As for not showering, we could have a contest!?

  19. They clearly have no taste. Everneath is fantastic and so are you. You're trying very hard.

    And you're not the only one who doesn't thinks laundry is overrated lately. So shrug it off. You're awesome. Congrats on your de-Brodi-fication. I think it's a big step in every career. Well done. I'm pretty sure this means you've "made it" ... now if I only knew what "made it" meant. ;-P

  20. You are the awesomest, Brodi. Loved this post. Loved the wit and wisdom, and the fact that the pressure is off now for our tour. I'm a fan of the multi-day outfit too and make-up? Exhausting. Hugs to thee, friend.

  21. I've had your book for a good three months now. It has a place of honor on my shelf. I will send you a picture :)

  22. Oh my gosh! I just laughed and laughed. We are all the same...honestly this is too funny and it makes me feel so much better about my obsessing. I think you are my new favorite person EVER.

  23. Re: And I said, "I'm sorry you have to live with me."
    He smiled and said, "I wouldn't not have it any other way."

    Me: "Wouldn't not? WOULDN'T NOT? That's a double negative! That means you would have it any other way! It's like you're not even trying anymore!

    Okay. This time I was smart enough NOT to drink anything when I saw a new post for your blog. It was a good thing I didn't. Again, I'm laughing a stitch into my side. At the same time, I'm thinking whoever did that tweet, tweat, twote didn't read your book. I haven't read an ARC of EVERNEATH but if you have the kind of writer's energy in your book that is evident in your blog, then I'm good to give it two thumbs up.

  24. All this on the day I ended up with your book? I hope my excitement came through on Twitter and cancelled out that blechy one! :)

  25. You do know that jeans are very much re-wearable until they stand up on their own. It is a proven fact! ;)

    Just ignore the haters- and think of it this way. If you have haters then your book is making an impact and that is better than "Oh ho hum this book is just blah".

    And if you feel so led, feel free to send any haters my way- I will give them a Twitter smackdown.

    Hugs! ::and passes Brodi some frozen peanut butter cups::

  26. Mmmmmmm. Frozen peanut butter cups.

  27. Wow, if this is the 'not trying anymore' version of you (amazing book, funny blog, awesome personality) please do not bring out the 'trying' version or I will hate myself. You wouldn't want me to hate myself, would you?

  28. I love your blog.

    And as far as that tweeter went, hey, some people's taste is all their mouth. I've read Everneath and I loved it. If that's you "not even trying anymore" I can't wait to see what you do when you are. ^_^