Friday, October 7, 2011

My Hair Disaster. Do not adjust your Computer Screen.

I don't know if it's the weather.

I don't know if it's hormones.

I don't know if it's an attack of the crazies.

But about once a year, I feel the need. THE NEED. To dye my hair at home.

As Edward is drawn to Bella, I am drawn to the Nice-'N-Easy aisle at the Rite Aid. 

Each time, I say, "This time it will be different. This time it won't be a disaster."

Isn't that the definition of insanity? Doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results?

As I went to take a picture for the blog this morning, I was face to face with all of my hair disasters over the years. This is a screen shot of my computer. Take a look at the bottom row of pictures:
There's the time I tried to go brunette:
But it wasn't "brunette enough" for certain people (Bree Despain).

So I went to Walmart. 30 minutes later, it was this:

Two weeks later, it faded to this:
and it settled into a nice greenish dirty blond color. My hair rejected the brunette.

This time around, I tried blond. The first dye job resulted in orange roots.

The second resulted in brassy roots.

Most people would've stopped at that point. Most people are smarter than me.

I tried to compensate by using purple to counteract the brass. The bottom half of my hair turned actual purple. The top half became a bright yellow.

It looked like I had a dead canary on my head. There are no pictures because I cried. I literally bawled my guts out. I woke up the next morning with that sick sinking feeling that you get when you wake up with a dead canary on your head. You know that feeling? Probably not. Because you wouldn't get yourself in this situation.

I went to the store to by some more purple. When I got home, Sam tried to wrestle the box out of my hands. The conversation may have sounded like this:

me: "I have to fix it!"

him: "You've been trying to fix it for 24 hours now!"

me: "But this time will be different!"

him: "Your hair will fall out!"

me: "Better bald that than the Canary-Head!"

I pushed him out and slammed the door shut. Locked it behind me. And like a crack addict who just scored a hit, I greedily tore open the box and laughed maniacally at the mirror. The girl in the mirror showed a lot of teeth, and an entire ring of white around each eye. She was spooky.

Anywho, it only took six dye jobs (no, that is not an exaggeration) to get to this:
 And honestly, the picture doesn't do the purple and yellow streaks justice. 

Enjoy it now. Because it's all about to fall out.

By the way, I originally wanted to dye my own hair so I could save money. 

I spent $60 on hair dye and $30 on deep conditioners. Oh, and $20 on two hats that I plan on wearing for the next few months. 

Here's to frugality! *clink*

Please tell me I'm not the only one who does this. Pretty please.


  1. I tried to dye my hair brunette once and it turned almost black. It was the darkest I had ever been. I was shocked at first, but then I liked it.

    And, I dye my hair PURPLE on purpose! I miss my purple streaks. :(

    I don't think it looks bad at all. And, I loved the brunette in your hair (the first and second pictures).

  2. Looks like you've done a nice job with the blonde! I used a red rinse on my hair once and went from firetruck red to nearly blonde (I'm naturally a very dark brunette) in a couple of weeks. Neither look was good for me. I *ahem* learned my lesson though. :)

  3. I tried to dye my hair a perfectly nice reddish brown. It turned out pink. Seriously. And not nice pink, horrible sick-colored pink. I was horrified.
    However, you do make me want to try and dye my hair red... Hmm..

  4. So, is this why you were late to the launch? (Not that I mind, especially knowing what you were going through.)

    If it helps at all, I'm colorblind and didn't notice a thing!

  5. I do not dye my hair. Not because I haven't always wanted to be a redhead, but because I'm lazy. I can't be bothered to cut my hair more than twice a year, so it's HIGHLY unlikely I'll properly maintain my roots.

    You look good, though! $90 well spent. Leave the hats at home.

  6. I think it actually looks terrific. I had to disagree with the first 3-4 times you played with it the other night, but you finished it up nicely. Thumbs up. I hope you don't mind, but I have dyed my hair at work. It is sexy orange now. Enjoy.

  7. I think it's cute! I don't ever dye my hair. Before I was married I got it weaved with blonde. The first time cost $60 and the girl left it in too long and fried my hair =(. The next time was a better experiences, but man is it expensive! I could be buying books with that money! =) So, that's what I do now. LOL. Plus, I'm a total tom-boy of a mommy at times. Dying my hair is one step closer to caring what my nails look like.

    Funny story, though. I thought this was great!

  8. SIX? SIX??!! You swore you'd stop at five! What happened to going to a professional to get it fixed? Seriously, Bro. You have issues. ISSUES. But I love you anyway. Now STOP with the freaking hair dye already.

  9. I gotta say those hair stories make me laugh. I'd pay the professional just to get that free head massage with my shampoo. :)

  10. Jenni- I tried to go brunette. Even went to the professional salon. But it didn't take! P.S. I loved your purple streaks.

    Jessie- that's because you're a smart person. I like to learn lessons the hard way- where it takes years and years to penetrate my skull. :)

    Daisy- Go for it! (Do not listen to me.) It will be great! (Seriously, walk away from the dye.)

    Matt- The reason you didn't notice was because I was wearing a hat. And no, the dye is not why I was late. It is, however, the reason I was wearing the hat. :)

    Robin- Ah roots. The bane of my existence. (I had to spellcheck "bane" and "existence", fyi.)

    Sam- See? I can't believe you only stuck with me through four dye jobs. And I can't wait to run my fingers through that orange hair. Mmmmm.

    Kathryn- Definitely spend your money on books instead of hair dye! You will be happier in the end.

    Bree- You should be happy I didn't stop at five. Five was the canary on top! You'll thank me one day, when we're out in public together.

    Debbie- I'm okay paying a professional. I just can't stand to sit in the chair for hours!

  11. hahaha, I'm sad there's no picture of the canary hair!

  12. Oh I LOVE your hair right now- that blonde blonde looks fab on you.

    P.S. We must be on the same cycle (hair dye cycle not the other one), just last night I box dyed my hair. It was supposed to be rich dark brown and it turned black. Like blue black if I'm being honest. Oh well. Another one bites the dust.

  13. I can't stop laughing, I'm so sorry :D I haven't yet dyed my hair and it's stories like this that holds me back. The end product in your picture does look nice though :)

  14. ROFL ... not at you, of course. Seriously, you should consider going to a professional. They're not as expensive as you might think (depending upon who you go to). Find someone you like.

    When I was in the Army, one of the other female soldiers decided to try and bleach the front part of her hair (I guess it was supposed to be a weave but it didn't work out that way). It didn't work right (no surprise), so she died it. And like yours, it faded. Green. Went really well with her fatiques. She decided to just go with it since she could usually cover it with an olive drab baseball cap anyway.

    But her hair wasn't as long as yours.

  15. Lori- I took one! But the camera broke.

    Olivia- your hair is always so funky and cool! I can't wait to see you rockin' the blue-black look.

    Jaime- I hope you learn from my mistakes!

    Donna- You were in the army? That is so cool! You must have some stories. And drab olive green is a great color for hair. It gives me ideas...

  16. I thought your hair looked a slightly different color yesterday! It wasn't so different that i was sure though-- it was a good color. Dan has banned me from ever coloring my own hair again! I still look at the boxes longinly though.

  17. I haven't gone through multiple-hair-dye cycle. But I'll tell you that I know what it's like to dye your hair too soon after a perm and have your hair end up a brassy course mess because somewhere along the line of trying to save money, I forgot to buy the deep moisturizing conditioner.

    Not fun.

    Glad it eventually worked out for you. Like the little engine that could, you kept going until you got it right :-)

  18. Brodi! I do this ALL the time!

    I'm glad I'm not the only one.
    The picture on my blog is brunette me but right now I'm blonde. I mentioned my journey on this post

    I should have taken more pictures. You were smart to chronicle the layers. It will act as a deterrent. I should probably be taking a picture of all the awful things my kids do with the same purpose.

    I will probably do it again. The hair, not the kids.

  19. Looks good on this end of the screen! I need an up close view to check out the purple!! Purple??? You crack me up. Maybe it might be worth it to just pay Elizabeth. ;)

    And thank you so so so much for sleuthing all that agent stuff out for my friend Sarah. She was EXTREMELY grateful! Sorry I haven't taken a second to tell you that yet. You are truly the best!!

  20. The end result is a-may-zing!!! I sort of hate you now. But to help you with your feelings about that, I give you this story:

    Once upon a time there was a girl. A girl who really wanted blonde hair for her senior pictures. She had just whacked all her hair off, which according to one friend/secret crush informed her made her look like a 40 year old and needed to redeem herself.

    The night before senior pictures the girl's mom was out of town. The "adult" left in charge said, "Hey! I used to do hair, let me do it!" Hijinx ensued. The end result was something a la Pepe le Pew. Everything that came through the cap was white. Everything under was not. VERY not. There was an actual face slapping to snap the girl out of rabid hysteria.

    The next day the REAL hairdresser was called. At 7:00 a.m. On Saturday. The hair was fixed. The photos were saved. Said girl has been permanently traumatized and never attempted a home dye job ever again, no matter how desperate.

  21. Eden- YOu can't really say it wasn't so different when I was wearing a hat at the time!

    Angela- Yes! I can blame my stupidity on the Little Engine that Could! That was your point, right? :)

    Shelly- I didn't chronicle the worst moments, though. If I couldn't fix it, there was no way I'd want to relive it! :)

    Cath- I'm glad I could help.

    Sal- At least you could blame your questionable choices on the fact that you were a teenager. The main character of your story was you, wasn't it?

  22. You are not alone. Trust me on this.

  23. I have had enough bad hair experiences that I'm scared to try again. I currently am having I want to change my hair but what if it looks horrible anxiety. Haven't decided if that is better or worse than hair changing addiction.

  24. Bree- Misery loves company.

    Tasha- I know! What is it with girls and their hair?

  25. I came across this from searching. I know this is an old thread. From what I read about hair dyes. Doing a perm before or right after dyeing is not recommended. The hairdresser should of know this. There is a special process that has to be done. The perm is actually interfering with the color process-that why it didn't last long. This doesn't matter whether it box or done at the salon. It sounds like you may need to do a bleach treatment. That should be done at a salon. You may have to have orange/ginger hair for a couple of weeks before you dye it. This is NOT my advice. I am just passing on what I read online.

  26. Oh my god, I Cant stop laughing. Sorry. I found it hilarious

    especially this part:
    I pushed him out and slammed the door shut. Locked it behind me. And like a crack addict who just scored a hit, I greedily tore open the box and laughed maniacally at the mirror. The girl in the mirror showed a lot of teeth, and an entire ring of white around each eye. She was spooky.

    Your blond hair looks great at the end.

  27. Oh my god, I Cant stop laughing. Sorry. I found it hilarious

    especially this part:
    I pushed him out and slammed the door shut. Locked it behind me. And like a crack addict who just scored a hit, I greedily tore open the box and laughed maniacally at the mirror. The girl in the mirror showed a lot of teeth, and an entire ring of white around each eye. She was spooky.

    Your blond hair looks great at the end.