Friday, March 27, 2009

TEETH WHITENING IS FOR SISSIES... AND OTHER PEOPLE MUCH COOLER THAN ME.

Famous Author status: Last night, I got to meet Laurie Halse Anderson- famous Young Adult author.

She writes a lot of realistic fiction novels, such as Speak, and her books have won all sorts of awards.










Her new novel Wintergirls tackles eating disorders. I can't wait to read it!











Favorite Laurie Halse Anderson insights (paraphrased clumsily by moi):

1. If we keep throwing books like The Odyssey and The Scarlet Letter at teens, and never encourage them to read more contemporary, reachable novels, then we'll lose teen readers.
2. All the moments of her life she spent worrying about her own body image added up to a giant chunk of wasted time.

3. Sometimes you have to push yourself to write the book you don't want to write. The book you think you cannot write. The book that needs to be written.


Okay, she totally rocks.


Next week, watch for my blog contest. The prize will be an autographed copy of Speak.


I also met
James Dashner, author of the middle grade series The 13th Reality. After sitting next to James at dinner, I soon discovered he is my soul brother.

He was all, "Your book is about aliens? Cool."

And I was all, "Your upcoming YA trilogy The Maze Runner is about a dystopian future in a similar vein as The Hunger Games? That is so... so..." And then I couldn't speak anymore.


Somewhere in the back of my mind, "Love Lift us Up Where We Belong" started playing. Needless to say, I was much more starstruck than he was. I can't help it. I get all gooey inside when I hear the words "Dark Dystopian Future".


The first book in his Maze Runner trilogy hits stands October 13th, 2009. I can't wait.


THIS IS WHY I DON'T WHITEN MY TEETH
So, I'm taking my niece home the other day, and she mentioned my post about how my ears are my favorite part of my body.

She says: "You are so much more than just a pair of ears... (wait for it)... You also have great teeth."

Ummmm, thanks?

My teeth, however, are yellow. It comes from my horrible habit of drinking cola and eating dandilions.

I tried to whiten them once. My dentist bro-in-law even made me one of those invisalign trays, so it looks like you're not even wearing anything.

So one morning I put the bleach in the tray, and went to Costco.

I hadn't eaten yet, and I just can't say no to those Costco berry smoothies. Ya know what I'm talkin' about?

I figured I could carefully sip the smoothie, through the straw, and then swallow it without messing up my trays.

So, I take my brilliant plan out for a spin, wandering the aisles and sipping my berry goodness.

Then I turn a corner, and nearly bump into a guy I used to date in college. You know the kind: where you swore if you ever saw him again, you'd look killer, and then wouldn't he be sorry. Yeah, that kind.

I consider ripping the tray out and chucking it into the clothes section, but that would not give the impression for which I was striving.

So I just smile and survive the pleasantries.

Later in the car, I check out the rear view mirror, and nearly choke on my berry smoothie.

Somehow, the purple juice had gotten sucked into my whitening tray, and the effect made me look like I was wearing one of those NBA mouth guards, like James Posey.


Umm, so take that, old boyfriend? All this could have been yours.

13 comments:

  1. that's hilarious. You're so lucky you got to go to that event! I just moved to IL and I miss TKE! :(

    ReplyDelete
  2. Alysa- I know. We're lucky to have a place like The King's English! By the way, you are a new follower, right? So send me your Young Adult book choice!

    ReplyDelete
  3. Purple teeth, haha! Gotta love those run in's with the old beau's.

    Ok I'm curious. You were sitting next to James Dashner at dinner? On accident? You ran into him? You went to an event? Thats so cool!

    ReplyDelete
  4. Debbie- next to him at dinner at Mazza. One of the girls in my writer group is friends with him, and we all went to dinner.

    ReplyDelete
  5. You truly have to stop eating those dandelions.

    I ran into your old boyfriend a few weeks ago and he told me how cute your ears were and that your teeth were the beautiful color of a sunset. I thought that was sweet of him. I then told him to shut up and to quit hitting on my wife with such sweet words about your teeth.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Sam- A day doesn't go by that I don't have someone telling me my teeth are the color of a sunset. Ah, beautiful reds, purples, oranges...

    ReplyDelete
  7. Lol! Thanks for the laugh. Last night was a blast. I heart Mazza. I heart LHA. Why can't we stuff like that once a week?

    BTW, I'm going to write a book that takes place in a dark dystopian future just for you!

    Alright, alright, back to revisions I go.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Bree- I know. I dreamed about Mazza. And Schwarma. On a bed of rice. Mmmm...

    ReplyDelete
  9. Admit it - that old boyfried was Ben, wasn't it?? Amazing the things that happen to you :) It looks like I have some more books to read...yeah me!

    ReplyDelete
  10. Why do you eat dandelions again?

    ReplyDelete
  11. Cam- Of course it was Ben. It's always Ben!

    Lily- I was waiting for someone to mention that...

    ReplyDelete
  12. you met JAMES??? gracie is going to come over and touch your clothes (that touched HIS clothes!) LOL...that is her new favorite series!!! LUCKYYYYYYYY!

    ReplyDelete
  13. Dorien- Oh yeah, and he is a fellow geek!

    ReplyDelete