How about some very important status updates?
Solitaire games played: 520
Win percentage: 15.3%
WHAT I LEARNED FROM SAM'S POST
There seem to be two camps of people:
1. Those who think I should have noticed the $282 total charge for one book.
2. Those who think Sam shouldn't have left the stupid doorknobs in his virtual basket in the first place.
So, which camp are you? You can tell me. I won't hold it against you. It's not like I know where you live. Or do I?
Sam is much more magnanimous than I am. What he calls my "adventurous spirit", I refer to as "attention deficit disorder."
He'll often say to me, "Honey, if I die first, I just want you to be happy. If you find someone who makes you happy, get married."
me: "Thank you. And if I die first..."
me: "I want you to follow soon after."
sam: "But what about the kids?"
me: "If they're over 18, with good prospects, then follow me."
sam: "What if they're still little?"
me: "Stay and raise them until they are viable. Then hit the gas pedal and head for a cliff."
sam: "Wouldn't you want them to have a mom?"
me: "Nope. They've got my mom, your mom, and my sister. That's enough mom for anyone. And trust me, if you feel tempted to find someone else, I shall haunt her all of her living days."
sam: "You don't believe in ghosts."
me: "I'll find a way."
So, yeah, there is a total double standard. And you ladies who were waiting for your chance with Sam? Consider this a threat.
THE MOCHA HONEY
Speaking of double standards, my lovuhh Rafa will be playing in the French Open starting next week. (It's a double standard because Sam would never be allowed to call someone his "lovuhh". Except Rebecca DeMornay. He's always had a thing for her, and I don't really mind because she's not so much this...
she's more this...
And that's not to say she's not beautiful or anything, because I'd give up a lot to look as good as she does, but still... Sam is welcome to date her. Magnanimous, right?)
Anyway, back to Rafa. The French Open is played on clay courts, and Rafa was born on a clay court. (I think that's actually true.) So tune in when you get a chance.
LOST SEASON FINALE
Holy Brain-blower Batman. Does anyone else feel like the creators of Lost have crossed the streams, causing total protonic reversal? (Can anyone name the movie?)
I won't ruin anything for those of you who haven't seen the finale, but I will say I bet you a meeelion dollars the writers are just as confused as we are. Only they've taken it so far, there's no way we can prove it.
Oh, and detonating a hydrogen bomb should never be a "go-to" plan of action. Just as a general rule.
So, the key to quitting caffeine is not blogging about it. I haven't quit cold turkey, but I've significantly reduced my caffeine footprint.
The problem is, last night when I had my first Diet Coke in a long time, I went crazy. Like, in the literal sense. I started accusing Sam of "conspiring" against me. Who says stuff like that?
But I was so enthralled with the word "conspiring", I couldn't stop myself. Normally, I would never act like that, so I can only assume it has something to do with caffeine. Perhaps I shouldn't have quit?
Sam is one confused unhip white dude today.