You know what I'm talking about, right?
At least, you Trekkies know what I'm talking about. And let me tell you, when you hear those opening words:
"A long time ago, in a galaxy..." wait, that's not right.
"In Space, no one can hear you scream..." Oh crap.
Anyone here speak geek? Hold on. Let me Google it.
Okay, got it.
"Space... the Final Frontier. These are the voyages of the starship Enterprise. Its five-year mission: to explore strange new worlds, to seek out new life and new civilizations, to boldly go where no man has gone before. To see the zippers in the cheesy alien costumes. To say goodbye to the un-named trooper of the week. To fall to one's knees, and give a gut-wrenching shout of "Kaaaahhhhhhhhnnnnnnnn!"
Okay, I may have embellished the opening words.
As most of you know, I am not a Trekkie. (BTW, did you know that the purest Trekkies consider "Trekkie" a derogatory term? I mean gee whiz, Trekkies can sure be a touchy bunch of Trekkies.)
Anyway, back to Trekkies. I am no Trekkie. I'm not even a closet Trekkie, denying my Trekksual orientation. I do not debate the merits of previous Trek disasters, a la the guys from Big Bang Theory (by the way, this same debate took place at Sunday dinner last night):
So my expectations were pretty low.
And when I saw some reviews that said, "The best Star Trek movie since The Wrath of Kahn," and then I saw the poster for said Wrath movie:
I thought to myself, "This is what it's trying to live up to? A movie about a battle with Michael Bolten?"
So I lowered my already drowning expectations into a deep dark abyss.
But I have to admit... from the first space battle scene, the first heroic death (whoops, spoiler alert) the first meeting of Spock and Kirk, I was hooked.
Yes, some of the aliens looked like they had been injected with a buttload of botox. And I'm sure some of the references to past shows went way over my head. (Tribbles, anyone? Yeah, me neither.)
But I can't wait to see it again.
Things I liked about it:
1. Simon Pegg plays "Scottie". Simon Pegg is the English actor behind such movies as Shaun of the Dead and Hot Fuzz. Two of my favorites. (I do not recommend movies because I always get in trouble, so please don't go out and rent them or anything.)
2. James Tiberius Kirk spends most of the movie drunk, drugged or in a bar fight. He always sports a swollen lip and the traces of blood from his latest scuffle. He's an absolute mess. And I love guys who are absolute messes.
He's a scruffy nerfherder.
3. Halfway through the movie, my mom leans over and asks me (in reference to Capt. Kirk), "Isn't that Hugh Jackman?"
4. There exists a certain contagious energy when hundreds of geeks converge in one place. You could almost taste the pathetic despair in the air. And it tasted good.
5. There were no Klingons or Klingon dialects. (At least, as far as I could tell)
6. The security guards in the theater were so dang serious. It was really very cute.
"If I even see a cell phone, I will have to escort you from the theater. The higher ups have given me no leeway on this, so please make it easier on yourself." Then he flashed his ID. "Don't make me use this."
Then he hitched up his belt, tipped his hat to the ladies, clicked his spurs and sauntered out of the room, to where Daisy was hitched to a post outside.
Things I could do without:
1. Trudging scenes.
I understand the need for pacing in movies, as well as books. But I really get bored with the trudging scenes, where the Main Character gets stuck/stranded/lost and must trudge through the snow/desert/sludge along the way encountering monsters/bad guys/starving children.
I know it's all about giving the audience/reader a chance to take a breath before the big final showdown. But it feels exactly how it sounds.
2. Now people are going to call me a Trekkie. But I'm not. Because this movie is not Star Trek. It's not. It's a really cool sci-fi pic.
Sis-in-law E still says I'm a Trekkie now, no matter how much I deny it. So we'll have a quick lesson.
This is Trekkie:
This is NOT Trekkie. Sci-fi geek, yes. Trekkie, no. I am a sci-fi geek.
You still callin' me a Trekkie? Whatev's.
It's time again for some contests and book give-aways. I'll give you the details Wednesday, but let me just say the contests are easy-peezy. I might as well be giving the books away for free! Which, I guess I am.