Wednesday, July 8, 2009

I'm Sane. Everyone around me is Crazy. A Day with the Nuts at Zupa's.

Yesterday was sorta crappy. Funny now, but at the time, crappy.

It Didn’t Start Out Well…
Incident 1: Diaper “event” in Kid B’s crib. I won’t gross you out, but it involved premature removal of diaper.

Incident 2: Niece “washed” wii remote. In water.

Incident 3: Niece chewed up blue crayon and spit it on my carpet and shirt. It looked like someone had ingested blueberries and then barfed.

I love my niece. She is very creative in her destruction.

So, you can imagine I was looking forward to my escape to write in the afternoon.

The Afternoon Proved to be More of the Same

Zupa’s has a million “Wi-Fi Hotspot” signs, so I decided to try it out. And my day continued to suck.

So I order my food, and then try to log on to their wi-fi. But no networks are pulling up.

I go to the guy at the counter.

Me: “You have Wi-Fi, right?”

Him: “No, we don’t have that.”

Me (looking at signs all around restaurant): “You’ve got like ten signs saying you do.”

Him: “Oh, Wi-Fi. I thought you said ‘do you serve Wine Frye’.”

Me: “What the heck is Wine Frye?”

Him: “I don’t know. But I know we don’t serve it.”

I try logging on again while I start munching on my salad. It’s the “Nuts about Berries” salad. Only I soon realize there are no nuts on mine. And the nuts are my favorite part.

So I go up to another girl at the counter, this time presenting my salad plate.

Me: “Excuse me, maybe I’m just not seeing them, but I don’t think there are any nuts in this salad.”

Her: “Of course there are. It’s called Nuts about Berries.”

Me (slapping my forehead): “Yeah. I know. I meant, there are no nuts in my particular salad.”

Her: “So, you want more nuts?”

Me (remember my pet peeve about annoying word choices): “No. I don’t want more nuts. I want the original allotment of nuts that was somehow ignored in this particular nuts about berries salad.”

Her: “huh?”

Me: “Yes. More nuts please.”

Back to trying to get Wi-Fi

I pull up the Wi-fi available, and still nothing. So I ask the guy at the counter.

Me: “What’s the Wi-fi network called?”

Him: “Ummm… I don’t know. Zupas maybe?”

The manager comes over. Thank goodness the authorities have been called.

Manager: “We have a Wi-fi bar over there against the wall. You can plug into the Wi-fi.”

Me after a loud sigh: “Plug in? Do you even know what Wi-fi stands for?”

Her: “Yeah. Internet.”

Me (smiling widely): “Great. Thank you.”

Seriously, is 3 o’clock in the afternoon happy hour at Zupas?


  1. snort!!!!! (that was following a long loud laugh!) sorry your day sucked! hope today is better!

  2. Get some button/zipper jammies (w/o footies) and put them on backwards. It'll at least solve the premature removal of the diaper problem. Hopefully.

    There is a good reason I'm not a salad fan, I hate it when they leave off the most important ingredients.

    The only place I've ever done the WiFi thing somewhere outside my house is McDonalds, and by I, what I mean is my hubby. And by 'done the WiFi thing' I really mean he went and drove by McDonalds and realized he had to pay for it so he didn't stay.

  3. I've had days like that! :) Glad you channeled your frustration into creativity. See? It's all good.

  4. Dorien- glad you can find joy in my crapiliscious day.

    Debbie- I need to try the zipper pajamas. Why didn't I think of that? Lol on the McDonald's Wi-fi.

    Doug- you're right. There is a silver lining. Of course, I didn't get any actual writing done, though. I was too bugged about the Wine Frye. I hate it when they don't serve Wine Frye.

  5. "I rolled it daddy." Those precious words, coupled with an interesting odor greeted me one morning as I opened little Grant's door. And there he was: standing in his crib, diaper off, and lovely poo balls in hand--squishy spheres--his "dough" covered little palms offering me the smelly gifts. Perfectly crafted like the perfect ginger snap dough balls Sherri taught him how to roll and bake the afternoon before. All he needed was some sugar to roll the poo balls in. (And then of course to bake them at 375 for 14 minutes.) Moral of the story: don't teach little boys how to make ginger snaps.

    ps. wine fries are quite tasty and go with red meat or fish.

  6. Oh my, you poor thing! By then I would have picked up an old scone and beaten all the employees with it. You are a more patient woman than I!

    I've never heard of Zubas. But it sounds like they need to train their employees better. I hope the rest of your day is much, much better!

  7. First off, thanks to Kent for his comment. I have a horrible visual of poo cookies. Thanks for nothing.

    I do have to say that I enjoy a good wine frye. Best to eat after a big meal of spaghetti.

    Hopefully your day brightened up when you got to spend some quality time with me.

  8. Kent- Ewwwww. Poo Balls. Perhaps they go better with Wine Frye than red meat would. See, this is why I don't ever cook.

    Una- I should have resorted to violence. I love their food, but their staff should know how Wi-fi works. What are we, in 1995?

    Sam- You brighten every day. Of course, it would be even brighter if you'd ditch the stupid LED energy saving lights and just buy some regular bulbs once in a while. Just sayin.

  9. Ditch the LED and CFL light bulbs? Its like you don't even know me!!

    Sorry, I should go now...and no, I am not crying!

  10. Hee, hee, hee!! I have been missing my daily Brodi dose with all my travel. People are id-juts (idiots...I guess my using id-juts makes me one too? Screw it.)

    You handled the No-Nuts-on-the-Best-Nuts-About-Berries-Salad-In-The-World Incident better than I would have. I won't go into details but I'm sure it would have ended with the Fire Department and the FDA being called in :)

  11. Cam- where have you been? I was this close to calling search and rescue. Good to have you back. I wish you had been around for the zupa's incident. I'm pretty sure noses would have been smashed.

  12. Oh goodness. That's just pathetic. I love Zupas, but I hate their new "we're the hip cool internet joint with a place to plug in your ipod and... do what?... show your music videos to the entire restaraunt?" Now I'm double annoyed to know their stuff doesn't even work. I still love the food though, so I'll keep going I guess.

  13. Heidi- I know. Their food is so good, though, I think I can forgive them this little incident. As long as they don't forget the nuts in the future. That is unforgivable.

  14. Especially for a salad that is called Nuts about Berries? Come on, how do you forget one of the title ingredients!?!?

    I still say, they need to work on their recruiting skills... the employees (including the manager) seem to seriously lacking...

  15. Una- Maybe they should start incorporating background checks or something. Do background checks cover tech skills?

  16. Hey Brodi-

    The Zupas by me has working wi-fi. So does my house. It's totally free. Just saying . . .

  17. Bree- Maybe I should just join the masses and move into your neighborhood.

  18. Brodi - I don't think background checks verify intelligence. Maybe they should give some sort of simple test, one that shows whether they have a functioning brain or not.

  19. A Wi-fi bar you can plug into, huh? Wow, that's like the best Wi-fi ever!

  20. Jenni- The Wi-fi signal is so strong, it needs a wire to harness all of the power.

  21. So does Zupas have wine fry? I've been looking for a place that serves that everywhere. You can also get it in bulk at Costco.