Monday, August 31, 2009

Writing for Charity Event Recap: Who knew it could be so funny?

Happy Monday y'all.

On schedule for this week:

a. My quest to go from "so-not-hot" to "Hott!" begins. Both my boys are in school, and I am determined to lose the flab and earn that extra "t" and exclamation point. Or maybe I'll just sit at my computer and type. Okay, yeah, let's do that.

b. The U.S. Open begins today, and you know what that means... Rafa coverage. No complaints!

Writing for Charity breakdown:

The Writing for Charity event at the Children's Treehouse Museum was a huge success. Filled to capacity. Which was great, until I almost didn't get a spot. I finally had to wave my fifty bucks in the air, shouting, "Why won't you let me give money to the children? Why?!"

For some reason, a spot opened up.
26 or 32 Utah Authors. We're seriously a hotbed.

Main Obversations

1. You guys should get to know Matt Kirby. Not only does he have a huge book coming out in 2010 (The Clockwork Three) he also spontaneously dances upon request.

Case in point: I was telling Matt about a woman at the SCBWI Conference who tried to pick up on me at the Blue Moon Ball. At the ball, I had been demonstrating some totally hott! dance moves from the early 90's (Ants in the Pants and the Roger Rabbit) when this woman, obviously impressed, made her move.

Matt: "How, exactly, did she pick up on you?"

me: "It's hard to explain with words. Here, stand here. [Keep in mind, we are surrounded by mingling authors in the Children's Treehouse Museum] Perfect. Now, start dancing!"

Matt immediately starts stepping side to side, moving to some inaudible soundtrack in his head.
I burst out laughing.

Once I compose myself, I say, "That's good, but your arms are folded. Do it again, and this time get your arms in it."

He did! I never really got the whole story of "The Pick Up" out, but I got to see Matt Kirby dance. So if you happen to meet him, ask him to dance. He will!
Matt Kirby

The photo is a little blurry, because his moves were lightning quick. And because I was laughing.

2. I got to sit next to Brandon Mull, bestselling author of the Fablehaven books, at lunch.

I've never met Brandon before, and I wanted him to sign my first page, so I mentioned it to Emily Wing Smith and she made it happen. (Because my own mouth goes numb when I meet famous authors for the first time. Thereafter, though, my mouth doesn't stop spewing forth word vomit, right James?)

I was so nervous sitting next to him, that I drew all over my white shirt, with blue pen. Yes, I did just post a picture of my chest.

I know one is expected to converse at lunch, but the only topic I could think about was the writing on my chest, and I didn't want Brandon to remember me as the weird chick who kept asking him to look at her chest.

But I had nothing else to say. By this time, James Dashner was calling out across the table to me, something like, "Admit it, Brodi. You didn't know what a 'docent' was, either." (Because James is just random that way).

Since my mouth wasn't working, I tried to give James a look that said, "Of course I know what a docent is!" But I couldn't figure out how to say the "docent" part with just my eyes. So, finally I managed, "Derh. I know what it is."

He thought I was lying.
In order from left to right: Emily Wing Smith, Anne Freakin' Bowen, Bree Despain, James Dashner, Shannon Hale, Matt Kirby, Sara Zarr, Brandon Mull, Sara Bolton.

Other Strange Occurrances at the Event:

*Shannon Hale said most authors, no matter how successful, don't ever feel like they've "made it."

*When asked why she became an author, Jessica Day George said it was either that or become a museum docent.

*Sara Zarr convinced Emily Wing Smith that Billy Joel's spirit was alive inside the museum.

*I saw Leisha Maw and Amy Reall, my peeps from the BYU conference.

*James thinks the word "exacerbate" sounds dirty.

*I refrained from asking Brandon Mull to sign my chest.

*I accidentally printed up my first page on cardstock. Like I thought it was so important, it warranted heavy paper. I had the authors sign it so it looked like I did it on purpose.

* When asked why he writes for kids, Mike Knudsen said, "I write my best, and it comes out at a 4th grade level."

*I almost didn't get in because the desk attendant said I was four minutes late.

*Best advice from Ann Dee Ellis: focus on the writing, above all. The rest will fall into place.

*Best visual aid: Jessica Day George brought a three ring binder with over 180 rejection letters. Never give up!

*I got to read Taylor Maw's first page in his book about aliens. (favorite line: "Space Sucks.")

*After reading my first page, Jessica Day George said she would want to keep reading. Yay.

*The tortilla chips were as big as Bree Despain's head. (But I will add she has an inordinately small head.) *Shannon Hale said Brandon Mull could come to the event, as long as he brought the dimple in his chin.*I lied to James Dashner. I really have no idea what a docent is.


  1. I am so incredibly jealous right now. I wish I was cool enough to hang out with your friends!

  2. Um, I'm not cool enough to hang out with them either. And yet, I leech. Come with me next time!

  3. loved looking at your tata's Bro :) acutally that should be a winky smiley face... ;)

    I'm glad you had such a great time.

  4. Congrats on your kids being in school--what a whole new world. I still have about 3 yrs.

    In honor of the US Open, and you're coolness, I made up a cheer for Rafa. It goes like this: "Rafa Rafa Rafa." (It implies his sexiness, believe me.)

    Hey! You're not wearing black, it's white. What a fantastically awesome day. Hanging out with creative people=fun!

  5. Oh how exciting! And I laughed out loud at least 5 times while reading this post. I think my husband thinks I'm crazy.

  6. I don't know how I feel about being the dude who "dances on request." Let's hope I don't start getting random people demanding the moonwalk - "I'm not your monkey!" - because my moves are anything but hott!

  7. Shell- Actually, I hired stand-in tata's.

    Debbie- That's what I get for not wearing black: the ink really shows up. Love the cheer!

    Olivia- having loved ones who think you're crazy is the first step toward creative genius. imo

    Matt- I only said that so you would de-lurk. I'll clear it up now:


  8. Matt is so my monkey! When I meet him, I'm going have him doing the worm and lots of breakdancing moves! Just wait, you'll see!

    It looks like you had a great time. I think it's so cool that you got to hang out with some awesome authors, including yourself! Give yourself more credit! You're a great writer!

    Have fun watching Rafa for the next two weeks. If I could watch Ewan McGregor for two weeks, I'd be in heaven. So, I'm quite jealous of you right now for being able to watch your man.

  9. Floppsy and Moppsy are looking good. I thought of you in New York because the Tennis Association was staying at our Hotel...I tried to find Rasta for you.

  10. Jenni- It's events like the one on Saturday that make me think I don't know the first thing about writing. Ditto on Ewan.

    Cam- "flopsy and mopsy" lol!
    You were in New York? You were in the same city as RAFA. (Not Rasta, silly Cam. No dreads or tie-dyes). Did you feel his presence, even though you didn't see him?

  11. Silly me...Rafa! I need to commit to memory with a mantra...

    R - Really
    A - Attractive
    F - Fantastically gorgeous
    A - Animal

    Okay, Got it.

  12. Brodi - you are freakin' hilarious.

    (does it mean the same coming from me as from James Dashner???)

  13. Cam- Thanks for the memory tool. That's so much easier than remembering "Rafa".

    Jenny- It means more.

  14. It's amazing how many great and influential authors we have here in Utah! Both in writing and dancing moves! Can't wait until they are clammering for your autograph and dancing moves too!

    Loved tennis today! Can't wait to see Rafa's dance moves on and off the courts. Keep us updated with his sexy pictures too!

  15. Rafa...I know that name sounds familiar. Is it Sam's body double?

    The weekend looked awesome, loved your little "points" at the end. I think I would have too much fun at one of those. Plus, if I write my best, I write at a kindergarten level. Thank goodness for spell/grammar check! =)

  16. This comment has been removed by the author.

  17. Sorry, mistakenly deleted my comment. It was probably too inappropriate so it was a good thing I got rid of it.

    UNA--that is what I am talking about!! Yes, trust me, people would get confused to who was who if they only saw our upper bodies. I don't flaunt it like Rafa though.

    No offense to Matt, but I have little doubt that he can equal my hott! running man dance moves. I let it all go and it is probably the main reason why you were so attracted to me.

    I know, I know, we are on differing ends of the spectrum in regards to our tennis players--but I think Ana Ivanovic will win it this y...oh wait, you were talking about the guys? For the men, I see Roddick taking it all.

  18. Erin- I'm gonna have to practice my dance moves, in case my book ever gets published.

    Can't wait for tennis on Thursday!

    Una- you just made Sam's millennium.

    Sam- Women's tennis sucks right now, no matter how "hot" they are. At least the men are hot AND talented.

  19. Hahaha, glad I could make his day!

    Seems like it'll be a fun night at the Sam and Brodi residence this evening. Reminds me of "Radio Days" when the parents were arguing over which ocean is greater. =)

    But then again, I would think every night there is a fun night! =)

  20. Una- that makes it sound like you think Sam stands a chance when we argue.

  21. I have no doubt that Sam never stands a chance when arguing with you. Crazy always wins. :)

    I wish we had video of Matt dancing. That would make my millennium!

  22. Bree- If only my iphone had video capabilities! Curses!

  23. I was going through my papers from the conference yesterday (that's pretty sad that they have been in a folder next to my bed until yesterday) and found your first page in my folder. Since I loved your first page, I decided to look you up on the internet to find out what else you had written and voila! Your blog pops up! So now, I'm giving you official notice that I'll be lurking in the dark recesses of your blog waiting for the announcement that your WIP has been published because I really want to know what happens to your heroine.

  24. Hi Melanie- Thanks for tracking the blog down. Feel free to lurk as much as you want! Although I hope someday you will want to de-lurk and join the discussion.

    Keep me updated with your current writing projects as well.