Friday, December 11, 2009

Stealing from All-A-Dollar... Does it get Whiter Trashier than that?

Yay Friday, Y'all.

1. I'm slowly making my way through the entries in the Free Query/First Page Friday Challenge, so if you've sent me something, they are getting done. On a first come first served basis.

Here's an excerpt from Cam Ballou's entry.

I know what you are thinking, how horrible that sounds…someone praying for death when, on the outside, they don’t have a thing in the world to be unhappy about. In my defense, I am only trying to eat myself to death, which all in all is a very long and drawn out method of suicide which will likely only result in high cholesterol, diabetes, heart problems, cancer and obesity and get me nowhere.

I think this is a great example of "voice". Every editor and agent talks about voice, but it's very hard to explain other than to say "I know it when I see it." For me, when I read this, I don't hear the writer; I only hear the main character with a glimpse into her life.

Anyone else want to define "voice"?

2. Alice Pope from Children's Writers and Illustrators Market spotlighted me, Bree Despain and Emily Wing Smith on her blog. Check it out if you get a chance.

3. I've been finding those mini bottles of Diet Coke, which make me feel like I'm ingesting less of the hard stuff.

But then, I went to All-A-Dollar, and guess what I found? Mini old-fashioned Coke glasses! Can you believe it? It's a Christmas Miracle.
(Love Lift Us Up Where We Belong)

I grab 40 of them, and remark to the woman next to me, "Can you believe the treasures here?"

And she's all, "You're blocking the Smershey's Shmocolate Kisses. Can you be crazy somewhere else?"

I pack the glasses tightly into the store basket, and I receive permission from the manager to take the basket off the premises and to my car. But once I'm at my car, I realize I can't have these loose little gems rolling around everywhere on the drive home, and possibly breaking.

What would you do?

Me too. I stole the shopping basket from the Dollar Store. Aside from placing dirty diapers in our porch planters, this is the most white-trashy thing I've done.

4. Sam and I came out of a family Christmas party to see Kid B, asleep in the car like this:

That's gotta win some award, doesn't it?

5. I was checking out the search terms that lead to my blog the other day. I found "alien boobs."

First off, I have never blogged about alien boobs. Second, *who types this as a search term? I mean, seriously?

*If this was you, I apologize.

7. So, what are y'all doing this weekend?


  1. Uhm, it may just be me but your pictures are all missing.

    I think it's hilarious to look up what people search for when they stumble on my blog. I've found some crazy things (enough to go back and change words). Kinda scary and yet way funny.

    Treasures at the dollar store. I love that place. I use it to bribe my kids to be good. They get a sticker for whatever I feel like and 10 stickers=1 toy. I'm totally down with that.

  2. Oh Crap. are the pictures there now?

  3. Totally there!
    I was just coming back to say I checked out Alice's post. So great! Fabulous interview.

  4. I love the shirts!! So cool.

    Just out of curiosity, what happened to #6?

    As for this weekend, I'm going to see New Moon with Joel's wife so she can get to work on her spoof---the one with shirtless Joel. What are you doing?

  5. Jenilyn- #6 was censored due to strong language and some nudity.

    Kidding. I sorta can't count this morning.

    I saw the middle third of New Moon with hubby the other night- it just keeps getting better and better! Can't wait to see the Joel spoof.

  6. Jody- Now if I can just get the search term "oxlips" to lead to my blog...

  7. The thing that I love of that picture of Kid B is his hand is down the back of his pants. Hey, for boys, it is only comfortable to have a hand down the pants while sleeping.

    Nice work on taking the shopping I always say, you can never have enough grocery store shopping baskets.

    If I had a dime for every scifi nerd who did a search for alien boobs, well then I would be a rich man.

  8. 1) Who wrote that crap? :) There is a reason God invented silence their voice! Hee, hee!

    2) Fool yourself all you want, smaller bottles only hurts the hard stuff's feelings...God invented certain things to be enjoyed in gluttonous porportions :)

    3) It's a Festivas such thing as Christmas Miracles since the arrival of Talking Elmo.

    4) Isn't going to All-A-Dollar itself considered the white trashiest thing you've ever done? I'm just saying...

    5) Okay, I REALLY need to get out of South Carolina. I think there is moonshine in their water.


  9. Sam- You just offended scifi nerds everywhere! They prefer to be called "scifi geeks".

    Cam- Thank you for believing, as I do, that Diet Coke indeed has feelings. And if there's really moonshine in the water... save me a place.

  10. Was that photo taken AFTER you stole the Dollar Store basket? Because it kind of looks like he's hiding his face from the camera with the shame of it all. ;)

  11. hey i google "alien boobs" all the time, is there something wrong w/that?


  12. Zoe and some friends found a shopping cart on the way home from school and decided that would be a cool thing to have at home. Renan didn't think it was that cool! What is wrong with that man. In the meantime the girls had a great time riding it down the hill at Olympus. It was a little dangerous but your only 14 once! Maybe you could use your basket as a mini sled.

  13. Bibliophile- You're probably right. I've been hiding my face all day too. Kid B has requested we resolve the issue on the Jerry Springer show.

    Dorien- You and me both. And the truth is, I really did blog about alien boobs. It was a long time ago.

    Amy- Zoe will be able to tell her children, "I remember the time we couldn't afford sleds, and my mom made me use a stolen grocery cart instead."

  14. Dang, I keep meaning to send my first page to you. I'm a little scared. You won't laugh too hard, right?

    I can't believe how kids can sleep. My daughter sometimes will sleep with her hands held up in the air like a limp Frankenstein. It's so weird.

    A TON of hits from my blog are for "Sexy Halloween costumes" because ONCE I blogged about how I thought it was weird that Marie Antoinette was considered a "sexy Halloween" costume. You know, seeing as how that story ended.

  15. Olivia- ha ha. I once blogged about saggy bladders. Now that search engine leads to some disturbing stuff.

  16. I totally searched for alien boobs. I do it all the time! ;)

  17. Jenni- who doesn't? I use the phrase in everyday conversation.

  18. author voice is: a combination of tone (mood), style (sentence length, word choice), and character voice.

    i always told my husband: "nothing says 'welcome to our home' better than the bag of dirty diapers i leave hanging on the door knob every day. yes, i could take each diaper all the way to the garbage can, but that robs our house of all its personality."

    now we're done with the whole dirty diapers business, so i just leave the kitchen garbage on the porch instead.

    you are so trashy. that must be what i like about you. i'm just naturally drawn to that type... even your discussion about alien boobs fits. i have just come to expect that kind of quality blog post from you. classy trashy.

  19. Rachel- I totally leave the kitchen trash on the front porch too! Sometimes I hide it behind the planter, but other times it literally blocks the door.

    "Classy Trashy". Love it.

  20. It was worth it dropping by today just for the Alice Pope link. Of course, I enjoyed the other parts, too. Except the violent bits.

  21. Douglas- Even my posts are too violent.