Friday, September 2, 2011

How my Car Accident this Morning Dredged up Embarrassing Memories... which I will share with you.

So, I totally got in a car accident. 

Just now. Like ten minutes ago.

I was on my way home from a celebratory breakfast, which is like a celibatory breakfast, only more fun, when I got rear-ended. 

It happened as I was trying to turn right onto a busier street and I was at a red light. 

You know how you inch out? Well, I was inching out. And the guy behind me decided to go on ahead and turn right. But I was in front of him. He smashed into me.

I'm not mad. I can understand how bad the guy feels. 

This one time, in a similar situation, I was trying to turn right at a red light. I thought the car in front of me had gone. I was looking left, waiting for a break in the traffic, and I must have let up on the brake because suddenly I felt a bump, and when I looked up, I was really close to the car in front of me. 

You know that feeling, when you hear metal on metal? Yeah, it sucks. The car in front turned the corner and I followed, thinking we were looking for a place to pull over, call the cops, and exchange information. 

But he didn't pull over. 

We passed a grocery store, and I thought okay, he'll pull over in that parking lot.

He didn't.

He started to pick up speed, so I sped up behind him, thinking, Why is he going so darn fast? I just rear-ended him!

I honked and waved, but all he did was press on the gas. 

All sorts of scenarios passed through my brain. Maybe he was a criminal. Maybe he was a wanted man, and couldn't risk police attention. Maybe he was on his way to bomb a building, and didn't have time to swap insurance cards.

Then he entered the on ramp to the freeway. Going the opposite direction I was going. I didn't follow, because, hey, I did my part. I tried.

But inside, I was so relieved that this possible serial killer - or maybe a bank robber - ditched me. 

When I got home, I checked the front of my car to assess the damage. But the bumper was in pristine condition. 

Weird, because the jolt from the accident was rather large. 

Then I went around to the back of the car. There was a huge dent in the fender.

And it all dawned on me. 

Yep, I was the one who had gotten rear-ended.
I was the one who had raced away, like a wanted serial killer. 

It was not my proudest moment.


  1. hhaha, oh man. I bet the guy behind you was just as relieved as you had been =P

  2. Brodi Ashton, Serial Killer
    MO: fuzzy red tufts found at every scene

  3. It's a bit difficult to write this, because I am laughing SO HARD! I'm just glad you weren't hurt. (Both times)

  4. I'm so happy I could provide some entertainment for y'all. :)

  5. I'm glad you're okay.

    But, wow about that earlier story. Makes you wonder if the person who rear ended you had followed you, too, and couldn't figure out why you were leaving. Too funny.

    I've been on the bumping end in exactly that situation. We did both stop, but I'd been moving so slowly neither car was damaged. But I was shaking like crazy. Could hardly drive my dang car.

  6. Funny! Glad you're ok :) I rear-ended my boyfriend years ago as I was following him while I was looking left, waiting to turn at a red light too! He looked at me in the rear view like "that wasn't funny, that was more than a little 'Hi' bump"! Oops!

  7. Glad it was just a fender bender & thank you for the funny funny story! I'm sorry to say I rear-ended another car when I thought they had started out at a left turn! It was right after I got my license and I wish I could've driven away but there was no escape. Sorry you had an accident but glad we got a funy story!

  8. So I cleaned up the Pepsi I spit out after reading the punch line - er, ah - end of your accident story...the first accident...yeah.

    I'm so glad both accidents were fender benders and nothing more. Admittedly, I'm still giggling because the first guy you thought you hit was probably all like "OMG! Stalker much! EEEK!"

  9. Hey Bro - I totally remember when that happened and have always thought about you when making similar turns. Definitely one of my favorite stories to retell. Good thing you had that experience - otherwise you may have bolted today too:)

  10. Donna- That initial crash sound... there's nothing worse.

    Laura- that story is so hilarious.

    Julia- I was involved in I think seven accidents as a teenager. I should've been locked up!

    Angela- Sorry about the spilled Pepsi! And yes, I totally looked like a crazy stalker.

    Ree- You know all my embarrassing stories! And those seven crashes as a teen that I mentioned? I think six were with you! :)


    Yeah, that beats all my accident stories. Sadly, all my accident stories involve me hitting someone else. Mostly my fault. Except for the time I hit a guy riding a bicycle. That was totally HIS fault. Prosecutor dismissed my ticket and everything. :)

    Glad you're okay!

  12. LOL! I wish I could come up with some clever remark but I'm laughing too hard. I once tapped a car in front of me because of a snow storm and the guy didn't even notice or stop. Boy was I relieved! You just made someone's day!

  13. Glad you're okay! Hope it didn't ruin your celebration!

  14. Robin- Bike riders are so annoying. They always think they have the right of way.

    Jenny- I'm sure I totally made that person's day!

    Jill- Thanks!

  15. How come I'm the only one that knows this? If he crashed into you, it's HIS fault!

    I know this because I got rear-ended on my way home from my 41st week appointment with the midwife to confirm that, nope, the baby is still not coming out yet. In the end, the accident was a good thing... it started things moving with that baby!

  16. Haha, I love the image of you following some random motorist, trying to flag him down...meanwhile, the guy who was actually in the accident with you, is probably trying to flag you down, while you ignore him.

    Love it. SO something I would do. ;-)

  17. I seriously hate the sound of cars crashing. It's the worst crunch ever. Like, worse than Grape Nuts crunch.

  18. Brodi - catching up on your blog. Between your mom and metro-sexy hubs, I can only imagine the wise-crackery at thanksgiving. And something tells me the rest of the johnson/ashton clan can play ball too. So... end of November? You've got room for us, right? ps - huge bummer about car accident, but sounds relatively minor & that you are ok. So glad.

  19. Sooo funny. And I'm glad you are okay. :)

  20. I'm a little confused. First, I'm glad you're okay even if you are a serial killer. Second, weren't you reminiscing about being the rear ender? If so, then why did it turn into you being rear ended. I know you were rear ended, but not at the same time you rear ended someone else, right? Maybe, I should just walk away.

  21. Thanks for the comments y'all. I didn't have a computer in Vegas, so I didn't get to respond, but I read them!

  22. Good thing you weren't injured seriously and your car was not totally damaged. Maybe that man was in a hurry so he didn't notice your car. But you did the right decision. You didn't get out of the car after the incident. You might get attacked if he is a criminal.

  23. I've been away from your blog for a week. And I knew I was missing some good stories. Awesome proud moment. And still laughing over your fortune cookies! I'll stop by this week.

  24. I also had a very funny (albeit embarrassing) moment while driving in LA. I saw a guy driving a very sleek superbike on the freeway, a Y2K jet-powered bike that is very rare and very expensive. I went closer and I didn't realize that the jet exhaust of the bike was so hot, it melted my fiberglass bumper. I only discovered it when I got home. Yeah, I felt so foolish for doing that kind of snooping, haha.

  25. I also had a very funny (albeit embarrassing) moment while driving in LA. I saw a guy driving a very sleek superbike on the freeway, a Y2K jet-powered bike that is very rare and very expensive. I went closer and I didn't realize that the jet exhaust of the bike was so hot, it melted my fiberglass bumper. I only discovered it when I got home. Yeah, I felt so foolish for doing that kind of snooping, haha.

  26. Abundance and assurance is acutely important so one absolute important affection included with the Ambagious is the accepted 5 point assurance accouter that keeps your adolescent cautiously anchored to the bench while advancement a top abundance level.

    used car bangalore

  27. Oh, that's a pretty scary thing to happen. Good thing he didn't do anything else other than the damage he did on your car. Being safe should always be the priority. Cars can be repaired, you know.

  28. Whoa, this sounds almost like a really good mystery or horror movie that ends in that great “Oh no, it was ME all along!” twist that gets me EVERYTIME! On a more serious note, though, I’m glad that you were unhurt. I hope the repairs for your car didn’t cost a lot, or at least was covered by insurance.