Confessions about EVERNEATH

Hello yon Bloggerville. 

I have a confession. 

I have heard it said that my blog can be "funny". I would never presume to say this. But my friends say it all the time. They also say I'm an excellent cook. My friends can be stupid.

But here's a confession. My book, EVERNEATH?: not funny. Not hardy har har funny. Sometimes it can be funny in a "Can you believe there's So. Much. Death?" kind of way. Other times it's funny in a "OMG she is so screwed! lol" kind of way. 

There's a reason for this. And it's a pretty simple one. The reason is this: Nikki's story isn't funny. It's the one that was speaking to me, but it isn't funny. 

There are funny characters. Cole's probably the funniest, in a "I love to inflict P.A.I.N.!" kind of way.   

Jack can be funny too, in a "Why does Nikki make my heart bleed?" kind of way. 

It would've been so much easier if I could've stepped up to the computer and written a prolonged, book-length blog post. Sometimes I totally dream about doing this. Maybe for the next book after the Everneath trilogy? 

It's not a problem for those people who discover the book first, and the blog second. 

Maybe this confession is for those of you who haven't read the book. I want to prepare you. Especially to anyone who's ever said, "I can't wait to read Everneath and LMAO!"

So, writers out there, have any of you ever tried to write something that's in a totally opposite voice to your own?

Have you ever had a story call to you that scares you because you don't think you can write it? I say... write it! I did.

So far, it's worked out okay.

Why I Threatened to Make a Necklace out of Human Hands

Hey y'all. 

Okay, so there are a few things I want to tell you about.

First up

I am one of the Debutantes in Badass Bookie's 2012 Debutante Event! All you need to know is that there will be tons of giveaways of the biggest titles of 2012, ARCs, swag, and each author chooses a prom dress! You can check out the details here.

And next up... actually that Debutante thing was the only thing. It just felt like a few things. Because lately, everything seems bigger than it actually is. Every task more difficult. Every direction more confusing. 

This might be due to the fact that my revision deadline is two weeks away. And then Thanksgiving. And then Christmas. And then Book Launch. Plus Kid B and Kid C's birthdays in the middle of all that.

Sam said to me this morning: "Kid C has to bring a collection to Scouts today. There has to be at least 10 of whatever he's collecting, and it has to be organized somehow."

me (vacant stare): "Um... okay. So?"

Sam: "So... what should he collect?"

me: "Um... bread?"

Sam (long pause): "Lemme explain again. Kid C has to bring a collection to Scouts. Of something he can actually collect. Something that won't, like, mold and stuff. What can we throw together?"

me (looking around kitchen): "Um... light bulbs."

Sam: "No."

me (eying sink): "Water?"

Sam: "Now you're not even trying."

me (staring at cups): "Water spots?"

Sam (waving a hand slowly in front of my face)

me (watching his hand): "Hands! Good idea. He can collect hands. He can string them together and make a necklace."

Sam (backing away slowly): "Um... It's okay. I'll figure it out."

me (calmly): "But you might need help. With the chopping. And you're gonna need my soldering iron to seal the ends of the veins and stuff."

I looked up, but Sam was gone. Truthfully, I have no desire to make a necklace of hands. But at the time it seemed easier to fake crazy than to actually help Kid C with his collection.

Anyone else feeling the stress right now?

My Three Favorite Sentences from the #3ARCs contest! And my scenario for one of them...

I had my nieces choose the winners of the #3arcs contest. Since I knew some of the contestants (either personally or through the interwebz), I didn't want my biases to influence any decisions. 

Here are their favorite tweets using the words SLIDE, GLIMMER and EVER. 

1. from @ashliepants

SLIDE secrets to ears that can't EVER tell, just because the moon GLIMMERS doesn't mean all is well...

2. from @LisaAldin

As I SLIDE my blood-crusted hands from the cuffs, a GLIMMER of light appears under the door, and I wonder if this game will EVER end. 

3. from @woven_

As she let the coin SLIDE from her palm into the GLIMMERing fountain, she knew she wanted this with to come true more than EVER.

I think my nieces did a fantastic job picking the winners. You should've seen them last night poring over the entries. They took their task very seriously.

WINNERS: Please email me your mailing addresses! brodiashton at gmail dot com 

You will receive a 3-ARC prize pack of SLIDE, GLIMMER and EVERNEATH! 

It's hard to imagine a time when anyone would utter those sentences, so I came up with my own scenarios.

For #1:

A man stands by a pond that reflects the moonlight, thinking the toil of his life. Two years ago, a witch cast a spell upon the man, cursing him to speak only in cryptic rhymes. 

A beautiful woman approaches. She has been searching for the man her entire life. "Please, tell me what I need to do to break the curse. Please!"

The man replies, "SLIDE secrets to ears that can't EVER tell, just because the moon GLIMMERS doesn't mean all is well..."

The woman grunts in frustration. 

I'll let you come up with scenarios for the other two. Please feel free to share! 

So... how's everyone doing? I'm armpit deep in revisions, with only my blog readers to tell me whether it's sunny or snowy outside. So tell me.

My Deepest Wish, and a Fairly Accurate Portrait of Kid B

The other day, Kid B was asked to draw a self-portrait. Here's what he came up with:

I think it's pretty accurate. He does have a head. He most definitely has two feet. And sometimes he wears stripes. 

You might not think a kid could resemble the picture above, but I would argue that you haven't met my husband. His genes include: short legs, green feet, and no arms. (No offense to my in-laws!)

Speaking of awesome things, you have until Sunday to tweet a sentence using the words EVER, GLIMMER and SLIDE to enter to win a package of three ARCs: EVERNEATH by this girl, SLIDE by Jill Hathaway, and GLIMMER by Phoebe Kitanidis. Remember to include the hashtag #3arcs. Details here

So, I heard that on 11/11/11, at 11:11 (am or pm) you get to make a wish. I'm wishing for a better year for my boyfriend Rafa. And by boy, I mean man, and by friend I mean lover. 

What? You think I just wasted a wish? Fine. I wish for world peace too. 

What are you wishing for today? Be honest. This is for prosperity.

Highlights of the Paranormal Ball, and your chance to win an autographed book

If you haven't yet entered to win 3ARCs, check it out here

On to the post:

You know how you go to host a paranormal ball, and you think you look like this:

But really you look like this?

That happened a lot. 

I thought I looked like this all night:

But after seeing so many pictures tagged on Facebook, I realize I looked like this all night:

Despite the fact that I looked like a drunken, rotund angel whose wings couldn't have lifted her an inch off the ground, we had a great time. 

It was the first year they had Young Adult authors at the Vegas Valley Book Festival, and the fabulous Crystal Perkins was able to get an excellent roster of authors!

Who wants to take a crack at naming them all? I'll name a few: Daisy Whitney, Lisa Schroeder, Becca Fitzpatrick, Lindsey Leavitt, Heather Davis, Rachel Hawkins, Suzanne Young, James Dashner, Jay Asher, Bree Despain, Emily Wing Smith... and many many more. 

I would name them all, or at least provide links to their websites, but I'm under deadline and that would require a lot of extra typing. 

The day started with a paranormal panel of authors, moderated by about the funniest person I've ever met, Rachel Hawkins (Hex Hall, Demon Glass)

l-r: Rachel Hawkins, Veronica Wolff, Becca Fitzpatrick, Rachel Caine, Bree Despain, James Dashner, Sophie Jordan, Tera Lynn Childs

One interesting tidbit that came out of the panel was that at least two of the participants had applied to the CIA. Can you guess which ones? There's a signed book in it for you... More about that at the end of the post.

The Festival ended with the Paranormal Ball, where I was happy to report that nearly everyone (except James Dashner) dressed up. 

See if you can recognize your favorite authors:

Suzanne Young, Rachel Hawkins and Lisa Schroeder

Lindsey Leavitt, getting into the whole Zombie Princess facial expression

Bree Despain, Becca Fitzpatrick, Lindsey Leavitt, Emily Wing Smith

And here's the whole group:

Bunch-O-Authors

I had a fabulous time, and I hope it becomes a yearly tradition. Who's with me? For a yearly pilgrimage to Vegas forthwith?

And can anyone guess which two authors applied to the CIA? I'll take guesses in the comments until 5 this afternoon (MST), when I'll reveal the answer. Whoever had the correct answer first will win an autographed copy of Rachel Hawkins' DEMON GLASS, the sequel to Hex Hall. 

I won't give anything away about the book except to say... the cat did it. 

Good luck!

Win a Package of Three ARCs: SLIDE, GLIMMER AND EVERNEATH

Hey y'all! Vegas was so fun, but it's very good to be back home. 

Here's a pic of me, Bree Despain and Emily Wing Smith in our costumes at the Paranormal Ball:

The wings are on our shoulders. So really, if we were to fly, it would resemble a tree falling. And if no one was there to see it, would it make a sound?

I'll blog more about Vegas on Wednesday, because today I have an exciting (EXCITING!) thingee!!! HarperCollins is giving away packages of three ARCs, including SLIDE by Jill Hathaway, GLIMMER by Phoebe Kitanidis, and EVERNEATH by... this girl. 

Here's what you do. 

1. Go on over to the Twitter, and create a sentence that creatively uses the words SLIDE, GLIMMER AND EVER. 

2. Include the hashtag #3ARCS. (This is very important)

3. Tweet away! 

Each author will pick our three favorites, according to my very strict criteria (which is: how much I like it) and each favorite will win all 3 ARCs!!! If you do the math:

=9 Packages of ARCs!

And if you do some more math, you'll find that the total equals 27 ARCs!

The contest will run for a week, and will end on November 13th at Midnight. 

So, go forth and create! Sentences, that is...

p.s. Just because you're going over to twitter doesn't mean you shouldn't comment on my blog.

 

She is gone and I am here

So, Brodi is gone.  Headed down to Las Vegas.  Without me.  Brodi is headed down to the Las Vegas to be a part of the Vegas Valley Book Festival (website is here).  If you have nothing to do and you want to drive to Vegas, you can see such fabulous YA authors such as Bree Despain, Emily Wing Smith, Lisa Shroeder, Becca Fitzpatrick, James Dashner, Lindsey Leavitt, Stephanie Perkins and many, many others.  It should be awesome.  Brodi is hosting the Paranormal Ball where she will be dressing up as Buffy the Vampire Slayer.  Actually, she won't, but that would have been cool.

So I know that you are all asking, 'What will Sam do this weekend?'  Let me tell you!  I have big plans for today.  I will work, pick up kids from school and then probably clean the house.  Tonight, I just may do laundry.  But I may save that for tomorrow to bring some excitement to my Saturday.  Tomorrow, I will also be doing a bunch of little projects around the house.  Watching some football games.  Probably have a dance contest in my house (you are all invited!!) later in the afternoon.  I will probably have to re-clean on Sunday.  Twice.

So party on!  Brodi wins and I win.  Hope you all have a rockin' weekend.  If you decide to come to my dance party, please bring gifts and food.  We can't survive on Top Ramen alone for the entire  weekend.  If you have any ideas on some awesome things for me to do this weekend, let me know.  If you have any awesome plans for your weekend, feel free to rub it in and let me know as well.