Monday, December 22, 2008

I DEFY ANY OF YOU TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE!

Can you tell the difference between these two bottles? (One is for eye drops, the other is hair grease/gel).

I'll let you ponder that for a moment.

Do any of you have contacts? Not the networking kind, that would be good if you're trying to sell a novel, but more the kind you stick in your eye every day. So you can see the leaves on the trees.


I like to put a drop of solution in my contact before I put it in my eye. I like to have a buffer between the actual contact and my eyeball.


So, the other day, I put my left contact in. No problem. Then I put my right contact in, and was met with a searing, burning, acidic sting on my eyeball.

So I blink a few times, and think to myself, "That's weird. I must have slept on my eyeball wrong." Because that's how I think in the morning, when my brain has yet to turn on.

So I do my hair, and put my mascara on, and get going for the day. Shopping, errands, post office, etc.
When I get home, Sam looks at my face with a quizzical expression.

S: "What's wrong with your face?"

me: "What do you mean?"


S: "It looks like you have an oil slick running down your cheek. Like a shiner. Did someone pull out the fisticuffs at the store?"

So I run into the bathroom, and look in the mirror, and Sam's right. I have a black oil slick running from my right eye down to my chin. And my actual eyeball has turned into a blood-red, swollen, gooey mess.
WTH?

I reach up to touch the oil slick, and it feels greasy. Like I'm crying tears of black vaseline.


And suddenly it hits me. I look at the counter, and these two bottles are sitting side by side, looking, for all intents and purposes, like identical twins.

I mean, I actually put two drops of hair grease in my contact, and then shoved it into my eye. And then I left it there! And since hair grease is not readily absorbed by one's eyeball, it spent the morning oozing, and mixing with my mascara, and running down my face.

If I was going to get the two confused, why couldn't I have put eye-drops in my hair, instead of putting hair gel in my eyeball?

True to its word, however, I do have to admit that the hair gel did "Kick-up the shine and flatten the frizz" on my eyeball.

And yes, it does have the warning: "Keep Away from Eyes." Anyone else ever do something like this? Please? Anyone?

7 comments:

  1. In defense of you, they do look kinda similar...I mean, they are both bottles, I guess. I am just proud of you that you did not end up losing your eyeball. Your eyes are as tough as you are!

    And no, I have never done anything 'silly' like that except for the time that I had cayenne pepper on my finger tip and then tried to put in my contacts. Other than that, no.

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  2. they also both have the same kind of spouts. I can see how you got those mixed up. 2 months ago I brushed my teeth with Ben Gay. It was sitting right next to my aqua fresh.

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  3. Sometimes I accidentally use Glen's toothbrush, which totally grosses me out. Doesn't bother him...he thinks if I'm willing to kiss him, sharing toothbrushes should be no big deal. Big deal to me.

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  4. A word of advice: Never, EVER suck on a peppermint!

    You never know when your contact will fall out while you are at a stop sign and you might need to put it in your mouth to moisten it for a sec before you pop it back in.

    'Nuff said.

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  5. Ouch! I am impressed you survived as long as you did with that in your eye! I know I have had many of those moments but I try to supress them in my subconcious.

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  6. i never do anything silly! (LOL)
    i just like to read about everyone else's silly things (um, yup, right!) i am glad you get to keep your eye though! :O) dorien

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  7. That is too dang funny! I had a friend (His name is Clint, true story) put super glue in his eyes thinking it was eye drops. Not fun times!

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