Tuesday, December 30, 2008

KNEE THOSE ODDS IN THE GROIN...

Book Status: Received revision letter from Ted!

The letter can be summed up by these threefold comments/instructions:
1. Cut 5,000 words.
2. Add 5,000 different words.
3. Lane rocks the casbah.

Newt Status: Hints to Sam about the Mac Notebook seem to be working. Newt is threatening to take hostages if we go through with replacing him. So don't tell him. (Don't worry. He doesn't read my blog). How do we communicate you may wonder? Okay, okay. I'll admit it. I serenade him.

Normally, as New Year's eve approaches, I like to reflect (obsess) on all of the resolutions (impossible goals) I made last year, and assess (tear my hair out) how many were reached (big fat zero). Then I sit and ponder (wallow).

As much fun as that would be for me, as well as you, I have decided a blog may not be the venue in which to make others miserable. So instead, I present:

THE FIVE THINGS BRODI DID RIGHT IN 2008 (Taaaaa-Duuuhhhhhhh)

1. Signed with Sherpa Ted. (Of course he has to be number one. Have you not read my blog? But on that note, I promise he will only be listed once.)

2. Didn't fall off the organ at church.
I play the organ for my church, and in 2007, after what I'm assuming was a very thorough wax job (on the organ, not me) I actually slipped off the seat and fell INTO the organ. Like into the keys. 2008: I remained upright, on the bench.

3. Quit Diet Coke.
Yes, believe it. For two weeks during the summer, I didn't have a drop.

4. Channeled Lucy Honeychurch.
(Have any of you seen "A Room With a View"? Lucy Honeychurch plays one particular sonata on the piano in her little pensione in Italy. I've been looking for the sheet music for literally 15 years. Seriously. And last month, as I was patiently awaiting my revision notes, I FOUND IT! Thus bringing my madness full circle).

For 2009, I will begin the search for Lucy Honeychurch's corset, and in 2010, I plan to faint shortly after witnessing a knife fight.

5. Cured Pancreatic Cancer. Okay, okay, I really take absolutely no credit for that, and have nothing but gratitude for those responsible (Dr. Mulvihill and crew). If I could take any credit, it would have been number one on my accomplishments. But my dad beat the odds! He literally beat the odds! He grabbed those odds, and kneed them in the groin, and then hung them by their fingernails. For such a gentle man, it was truly a sight to behold.

2009: Here's hoping all of you will be able to knee your own odds in the groin! I know I will be kneeing mine!

5 comments:

  1. #5 far and away the BEST! we love your dad and are so glad for the groin kicking!!! (although the organ falling one was pretty funny...)

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  2. I thought #1 would be: Stayed married to the wonderful and metrosexy Sam...but, whatever. I have been officially passed by Ted. Watch your back Ted!

    That 2 weeks you gave up Diet Coke may have been the hardest two weeks our family has endured...you were slightly on the crabby side. But now that you are back to you 6 or was it 12 Diet Cokes a day, there is peace in our home once again.

    Heres to a great 2009 full of no cancer, book success and staying happily married!

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  3. No diet coke? I could seriously understand that if the objective was to replace it with Diet Pepsi...other than that, I accept no other excuse. Brava for playing the organ - I did that in our first ward after we were married and I thought Ben was going to divorce me out of embarrassment..it was sad. Profound thoughts about your dad - it was an awesome thing to follow the blog and watch him come out on top. That does give me hope I could beat my own odds at my own struggles one day...except I'd have to be a much better person than I am right now to acheive that! Maybe when I am old and wise....

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  4. I understand your appreciation for trolling music stores for years trying to find a piece. Have you ever seen "Running on Empty" with River Phoenix? He plays this piece that just melts my heart. It sounds as though Billy Joel ripped off Beethoven when he wrote "This Night" because that tune runs through his song. Anywho, after probably 15 years like you, I finally tracked it down!!!

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  5. Oh crap! I have to make some resolutions?

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