Monday, December 1, 2008

VAMPIRE BEAUTY PAGEANTS... What do you mean I need to get a life?

Book Status: Um, waiting, like, totally patiently...

So to pass the time, I am catching up on my trashy magazines. The cover stories are always fantastic!

For instance: Rob Pattinson just won the title of sexiest vampire, in a barn-burner that came down to the wire.

He wins the GOLDEN TROPHY!

2. Running a close second was Nosferatu. (He received my vote. I can’t help it. Everyone looks better in black and white.)

3. Rounding out the top three was the vamp from 30 Days of Night. You know, the one who cleverly disguises his recent blood bath as a five-o’clock shadow.

Seriously, how did this yahoo edge out the other two contenders? I might just have to stare at his picture all night long trying to figure it out...

In further distressing news, Eddie Murphy’s mug from Vampire in Brooklyn didn’t even make the top ten! It’s an outrage! I demand a recount.

In another trashy magazine, I took offense to its sensational headlines. For instance:

Despite the promising headline, there was absolutely no sign of said “torture” anywhere in the article. If there was ever a case for false advertising…

I still haven’t gotten around to cleaning my house. Here’s the sad proof. Take a look at this picture: It’s a five dollar bill. On the floor. It’s been there for days. In the same place.

That’s practically like someone is bribing me to clean my floor! And yet, it remains in place. Instead, I take a picture and spend 45 minutes blogging about it.

Okay, so Ted had better give me an assignment and a deadline soon! (But Ted, if you're reading this, I promise I am patient and easy to work with, regardless of my blog... It's all just a show.)

Again, let me push BOOKS for Christmas Presents! I may not be a clean freak, but I am a book freak. Books are literally works of art for me. I love to finish a good book with no evidence that anyone has even opened it! If Sam wants to get on my bad side, he need only "bend the spine".

In the last post, we had some good suggestions for Young Adult books. (Meg Cabot's Mediator series, All-American Girl series, Sweethearts by Sara Zarr).

Anyone else have suggestions? For Adults or Children? Anyone read anything good lately? Please share! And buy your friends and family "works of art" this Christmas!


  1. $5 on the floor? I didn't even notice it next to the 2 day old potato chip.

    Even though I am a full-on heterosexual male, I have no problem with admitting that David Boreanaz (of Angel and Buffy Fame) would have to be #1 on all of those lists. With that said, you are correct, Eddie Murphy was robbed of a top 10 award.

  2. I am totally comfortable with my husband voting for David Boreanaz. Totally comfortable. Totally.

  3. Glad I am not the only one that let's things that land on the floor become semi-permanent fixtures. I love reading your blog Brodi and can't wait to read your book.

  4. At my house the rule is "finders keepers"--I'll be over shortly...ha

  5. I of course love love the Babysitters Club books :)

    or anything with Fabio on the front. I bet he's been a vampire on one of the covers... why wasn't he included in trashy mag vote?

    I also love Lois Lowry books. and Z for Zachariah is an awesome book for young adults.

  6. Um, yeah, I could pretty much stare at Robert Pattinson all day - MUCH better than cleaning floors...isn't that what our hubbies are for? Good books...mmm...Twilight series (of course), Veil of Roses, Kite Runner, A Thousand Splendid Suns. I also like the mindlessness of Sophie Kinsella :)

    I got a lot of books for the kids for Christmas but I am trying to get my hands on this one book about aliens by some Brodi person...any idea where I can pick that up?

  7. Brodi, Brodi, crack me up! Cleaning skills (or lack of) must be a family thing. Money wouldn't last too long on the floor at my house, but I've got plenty of other floor decor that I continue to ignore.

    I like the Hollows series by Kim Harrison (1st book: Dead Witch Walking) Plenty of vampires in those books. Once you get past the first 100 pages of the first book...good stuff.

  8. oh my heck Cam- Veil of Roses is like one of my favorite new books.

  9. Um, am I the only one who thinks Rob Pat looks better in pictures than he did in the movie? Maybe it was the cheesy Members Only jackets that dampened his hotness for me--and what was up with those sunglasses? Angel should definitely be on the list, but the #1 vampire in my life will always be Spike. Who can resist those sarcastic quips said in a dirty British accent?

    And you don't even want to know what's on my floor right now.

  10. Bree, I knew you and I were meant to be sister authors! Spike would definitely win the award in my book.

    Thanks for the good book suggestions, everyone! Keep em coming, and I'll do one big post on all of them.

    Also, just to be clear, I was totally lying about the top three vamps. Yes, Rob Patt won, but I made up the rest. I think Angel really came in second. As for Nosferatu, um, no. Apparently no one thinks the first vamp of the movies was hot or sexy...

  11. The "My Name is America" and "Dear America" series is fantastic for 3rd-6th grade readers (depending on their reading levels, of course!). They're historical fiction journals and just excellent for getting kids to look at what life was like before anything about life as they know it existed. I could spend days talking about good reads for kids!! SkippyJon Jones is a great picture book series for preschoolers. All sorts of titles are racing through my head... you have to be more specific about who you're wanting books for!

  12. Yeah...I picked up a Vanity Fair today for the same reason...there's a great Twilight photo shoot in there and online. I have to admit Edward's a hottie. I even got my husband to take me to the movie. Thanks for the book ideas!!!!

  13. can i borrrow $5?? i prob. just have to come over and pick it up off the floor, right?
    still wiping the drool off of my chin ...edward + vampire = a VERY good thing to look at!
    dorien :O)