1. Free Book Friday: Last one before the holidays! Leave a comment today to enter
2. New Moon Report
I went to see New Moon last night/early this morning, and I'm shocked I have any sort of blog in me. I'll go more into depth Monday, but here's New Moon by the numbers:
*Time I left my house: 10:15 p.m.
*Time I got home: 4:45 a.m. The next morning. The next morning. As in, a few hours ago.
*Number of times I suggested playing "Twilight/New Moon Car Games" on the way to the theater: 2
*Number of people who actually knew any "Twilight/New Moon Car Games": 0
*Number of fans in long lines around the building, shivering in blankets: thousands
*Number of times we cut in line because we didn't want to shiver: 1
*Number of security guards ready to use their biceps to force tween line-cutters back to the very back: 24
*Number of security guards who pictured themselves as Jacob and the Wolf Pack securing the boundaries of Forks: 24
*Number of fans in line to use the girls bathroom: 12
A few hyper girls said they were thinking of using the men's room, and they wondered if any men were in there. I said, "This theater on this night is probably the one time you're guaranteed there are no men in sight."
They didn't find me funny. One said, "There are dedicated boyfriends out there who will see New Moon on opening night."
I wanted to say, "Oh, I thought we were talking about men."
*Number of goodies inside my swag bag: 10.
Including a tiny little bottle of lotion called "Essence of Jacob".
*Number of races represented at Forks High School in the Olympic Peninsula: 42.
*Number of times Edward blinked because of his creepy contacts: millions
I'm sorry, but those contacts made the Cullens in this movie look like a mix between cheetahs and aliens.
*Number of people who actually believed Edward when he earnestly stated, "This is the last time you'll ever see me.": zero
*Number of times the audience swooned over Jacob's abs: 17
*Number of times the audience swooned over the wolf pack's abs: 10
*Number of times the audience swooned over Edward: 12
*Number of times the audience swooned over some random old old couple in one of the previews: 1
It was a very weird moment.
*Number of times Bella got lost in the woods: 2 or 3 or maybe 4
*Number of times Edward called Bella his "spider monkey": none.
And I thought the movie was the worse for it.
*Number of straight months Bella can sit in her room, not eating, and staring out the window: 4
*Number of times the camera circled her during those months: 4
*Number of times I got carsick: 4
*Number of times we thought the CG effects made Jacob's hands look like the size of Subaru's: 3
*Number of neck kinks we got from sitting on the front row: still counting
*Number of times Edward walked slo-mo: 4 (I thought vamps were supposed to be fast)
*Number of times Bella totally messed with Jacob's head: more than a few
*Number of times Jacob promised not to hurt her, and then turned around and hurt her within a few hours, and then told her he broke his promise: 2. or 3.
*Number of times I wondered WTH I was doing at a theater in Provo at 2:00 in the morning: a few
*Number of times I wished I was anywhere else: zero
*Number of times I got Essence of Jacob all over my steering wheel: 1
It's okay. It was an earthy, rustic smell, almost as if I'd been petting him all night.
Anyone else see it? What did you think?