Wednesday, April 28, 2010

Kid B's Soccer Debut... and It ain't Pretty

Kid B started his first soccer games this week. During practice he looked like his namesake, David Beckham. (yeah, we like to put an inordinate amount of pressure on our kids. Kid C is named after Bill Gates.)

Here he is during practice:

Notice he is exemplifying three key strategies to win soccer games:
1. He is running toward the ball.
2. He is pointed in the right direction (i.e. he knows which net is his target)
3. He is aware he's on a soccer field, and appropriately he is running.

Now, check him out during the actual game.

 This is not a summersault. He stayed like this, frozen, for minutes.
We can also learn lessons from this behavior:

1. The other team shouldn't have to question what you're doing.
2. If you're going for the art of distraction, the middle of the field is probably not the best choice, especially with a herd of stampeding 4-year-olds headed your way.
3. If you're going to assume this position, make sure your drawstring is tied tight.

This was the high point of the game, since it was the only time he stayed on the field voluntarily. Maybe it's not too late to change his name to Bob. Nobody expects too much out of a "Bob." Because there are so many of them.


  1. I think Kid B is just developing a new way to play soccer. When he's finally done with it and has it completely tweaked to his liking, it's going to be better than soccer is now! Just you wait!

  2. Boo spent much of her first season of soccer wandering around the field gathering sticks. Sigh.

  3. I am of the opinion that organized sports for children who do not have a gap of at least 2 inches between the hem of their shorts and top of their shin guards should be regarded as a time of comic relief for parents rather than an actual organized sporting event for children.
    If you assume that the kids are just there for your amusement (and for the snacks and ice cream after the's all about the snacks and ice cream), the whole endeavor will probably seem more like a success to everyone.

    Now, I don't have kids, so I'm, quite possibly, completely missing the point. But at least you end up smiling...and getting ice cream after the game (cause, after all, even for the adult type people, it's still at least partly about the ice cream. :) )

  4. I think Kid B is figuring out his guerilla soccer style. He lays in wait, while everyone thinks he's out and then as the ball comes close, he jumps up, takes the ball and SCORES!!! It is the pure genius that is woefully misunderstood.

    By the way, the pictures are great and your son is adorable!

  5. That's hilarious! Especially the lessons you learned from it. Like tying the drawstring. He actually looks like he's doing yoga, so maybe he just got the sports confused.

  6. My internet connection is spotty. This is my second attempt to answer comments. Argh.

    Jenni- I think you have more faith in Kid B's endgame than I do, but I like to think there's a master plan in there somewhere.

    Britt- my first kid never made it to the playing field. He would run around the boundary lines, pretending he was a choo choo.

    Rue- Ice cream makes everything better. Mmmmmmm... Yum. What were we talking about?

    Una- he did that once. Only he picked up the ball with his hands and ran to the goal, throwing elbows along the way. I was so proud.

    Jenilyn- my kid has big belly, small hips syndrome. Bum peeks are a state of being in our home.

  7. well i don't know about kid B--but i am thinking of trying that move in church next know... after two hours with all those kids. maybe that would shock them into stillness for a moment or two! whatdoya think?

  8. Dorien- If I tried that move, it would definitely shock the kids. And then the paramedics would get involved, because I wouldn't be able to get up.

  9. That was only a half moon for Becks. I am totally used to a full moon from that kid.

  10. Amy- He definitely has the full moon thing down. To his ankles.

  11. Gotta love Pee-Wee Soccer :) On another note - went and saw Dr. Casull today - she's a keeper. Thanks for the recommendation.

  12. Cam- I'm glad you liked her. She's so low-key and on-time and listens to everything you say. Hope it went well for you!

  13. I love Becks! He is just full of smiles! I'm glad he was even participating in the soccer game. I had Asher go with some anonymous person to the game just so he wouldn't be glued to my hip. He ran around the field chasing some cute girl trying to pull her pigtails. I don't think he had any idea he was even in a soccer game. Poor kid.

  14. Thanks for the laugh. Love you blog! You always make me smile.

  15. Slapping forehead. Love YOUR blog. I can write. Really.

  16. Erin- At least he was having fun, and giving us high fives every couple of minutes, as if he was the star player.

    Leisha- I took it as... Love you, little blog. It works!