Monday, April 5, 2010

Top Ten Annoying Questions asked by a Seven-Year-Old...

Good Monday y'all. How was your weekend? 

I spent our spring break at my family's condo in Midway, and I can tell you that being in such close quarters with my kids seems to magnify certain... um... wonderful traits about them. The traits that sort of make you wanna find the nearest cliff and pull a Thelma and Louise. 
 (The cousins waiting to start the Easter Egg hunt. Kid B in front, Kid C on right.)

So, below I present to you the 
(Seriously, as a fun game, try to answer them in your head.)

10.  Why doesn’t Jesus want me to be a spider?
9.    Why do bad guys always build such big lairs?
8.    When is tomorrow?
       follow up: But when is tomorrow?
       extra follow up, no matter what you say: Tomorrow is tomorrow? That's not answering the question, Brodi.
7.    Why do boys always need to be with their moms? (I'm trying not to read too much into this one.)
6.    Why can't I earn money by using my web to catch people as they fall? (This was after I asked him what he wanted to do for a job when he grew up)
5.    Why do you hate babies? (This one came when I asked him to stop talking like a baby)
4.    Why don’t you take me on more roller  coasters?
3.    Do I need to find a funner family?
2.    If we were to plant that avocado pit, would we get an avocado tree? (Okay, that was Sam asking this one). 

And the number one annoying question over the holiday weekend:
1. How do you know?

Because I'm the reincarnation of Albert Frakkin' Einstein and I know everything!!!!

Oh yeah? Then when is tomorrow?

At least he did some redeeming things too. Like he drew a picture of me. 
I'm trying not to read too much into it.

How was everyone else's weekend?


  1. But, WHEN is tomorrow? Ha! Classic.

  2. Brodi - children have an innate ability to be more energetic and curious the closer quarters you are in, this grows exponentially when weather imprisons you together.

    I love the picture, is that you maybe as the Easter bunny? With the city beyond...he sees you as bringing gifts to the masses? You are a superhero!

  3. So sorry that you seem to have lost your arms, without which you cannot be a typer. Perhaps you can train your super large, pointed ears to type?

  4. I can help you on #2: The answer is Yes, if you plant the avacado pit, it will grow into an avacado tree. Alas, the climate in Happy Valley is not ideal for avacados, so it will be a very small tree, and you probably need to have a really, really green thumb (like my dad) to make even a small tree, but for about a year (until one of his grandchildren--certainly not one of MY kids--pulled off the 2-3 leaves it had managed to grow) dad had a tiny little avacado tree growing in the same planter as one of his (many) house plants, right there in Sandy, Utah. :)

  5. Haha I miss kid C! That's an adorable picture of the cousins, by the way. I can understand about the crowding issues, though.

  6. Jenni- that should've been the #1 annoying question.

    Una- If I am a superhero, I question Carter's perception of what superhero's look like: Fat armless bunnies.

    Valynne- Actually, if my arms ever disappear, I've already trained my butt cheeks to take over on the keyboard.

    Robin- Your dad sounds like my father in law. He can grow anything! Last year, he grew a lemon tree in his breezeway. Maybe I should give him the avocado pit and see what he can do with it.

    Leena- He misses you too. Happy Late Birthday!

  7. At least he didn't ask where babies come from...
    I think you're a totally HAWT red, fluffy bunny with no arms!

  8. Brodi - maybe the question isn't his perception of a superhero, but what enemies you are able to defeat? What enemies did he have in mind when he pictured you as an armless bunny?

    My favorite annoying kid question: How much longer/father/etc. No answer is ever good enough for this question. It's not impossible to answer, it's just there is no "good" answer.

  9. Hey, it's a picture of Smokey!!!

  10. The one my 5yo's been asking lately is "How much does one dollar cost?" This threw me way off until I realized he was asking, "How much does one dollar buy?" as in "What can I get for my stinkin' dollar?" But he still asks the endless streams of "why?" that drive me crazy.

  11. LOL!!! I think that's a cute picture of his mom as a lovable furry rodent bringing him a basket of goodies! ...or was that your evil red twin with the horns??? If that's the case, then my word verification would fit "bullytom" -- I hope none of your kids are named Tom!

  12. Kayla- Where do they come from? I got mine floating in a river...

    Una- I hate that question. And I've tried to think about it, but I have yet to come up with an enemy who would be defeated by an armless bunny.

    Cam- Smokey's much cuter. And he has arms. He just doesn't want you touching those arms.

    Nikki- That's like "how long is a week?" with the follow up, "Well then how long is seven days?"

    Shauna- We like to keep the existence of my evil red twin a secret. Keep it on the down low...

  13. the picture of you...

    soooooooo, are you the easter bunny? has he already figured this out? LOL.

  14. You have excellent ears in that picture. =D I get a million unanswerable questions too. And you know what I tell myself? That they just want to talk to me. =]

  15. Dorien- He hasn't figured out about the Easter bunny yet. He still thinks the "Toothpaste" fairy puts toothpaste on his toothbrush every night. The kid's gullible.

    L.T.- I like my ears too. I think they could be used as weapons. Brodi: Ninja Armless Bunny Assassin.

  16. My favorite: "Do I need to find a funner family?" If YOUR kid is asking that - mine must be shouting ''I HAVE GOT to find a FUNNER family!!" We're pretty low on the fun factor lately.

    And the diabolic bunny drawing. Yeah. Don't read much into it. I think he was just practicing your name.

    Hope you had a great Easter!

    Two random questions: Are you familiar with Katherine Center's fiction? And if you're careening around our corner, would you mind stopping to pick up your book? I've been finished with Catching... for two months. Sorry I can't seem to make it out of the house and down the street to return it. Totally lame. Thanks Brod!

  17. LOL!
    When is tomorrow? That's hilarious. (Mainly because it's not my kid asking me.)

    We spent most of the weekend answering questions like "what day is it tomorrow?" and such.
    As amazing as Boo is when it comes to memorizing, her memory for things we've just told her is awful.

  18. The question that's annoying me right now is coming from my 5yo - Mom what time is it? He doesn't even understand time yet, but he has to know the exact minutes and he asks me every 5 minutes.
    I've had the when is tomorrow question too - tomorrow is always tomorrow is a hard concept to grasp. Funny as always Bro.

  19. Cath- I'm not familiar with Katherine Center, but I just googled her and it looks interesting. What are your favorites of hers? I'll stop by and pick up CF soon. Hope you liked it!

    Britt- That's the thing about kids. They don't remember what you want them to, but they have a mind like a steel trap when it comes to things you'd rather they forget. Like, "I remember when mommy said that one naughty word when I was three and she didn't think I could understand..."

    Mary- Kid C was the same way! He's obsessed with "How many minutes it's been." Like, how many minutes I've been alive.

  20. I laughed so hard I actually blew snot out of my nose! I can totally picture Kid C asking all of those questions too! Thanks for making my day! I can't wait to see what Kid C grows up to be...

  21. Erin- Always happy to be the reason for snot flying out of your nose. It's an honor.