I'm out, I'm awake, and my heart is whole again. Yay.
Here's the rundown of the high points from my hospital vacay:
1. The Male Nurse Brigade
I had an inordinate number of male nurses. Which is totally fine. Totally. Except in the pre-op when one male nurse is... um... preparing my... um... nether regions, while the other one is asking me how his writer-wife can get an agent, and I'm trying to answer but all I can think about is the man-nurse at my nethers!
Finally I grabbed the IV in my arm, and I was like, "Do I need to be here for this? Can we put that-" *points to "sleep juice"* "-in here?" *points to head*
them: "Um, that's not how it works-"
me: "JUST GIVE ME THE DRUGS!!"
2. Forgetting Serum
The doctor came in afterward to talk to me and Sam, and he told me the drugs he gave me would make it so I wouldn't remember anything he says. I don't know why, but when this happens, I always feel like I have to prove the doctor wrong.
So, he started rehashing the surgery, and I committed every word to memory.
He talked about this:
I can't wait to tell him his so-called "memory drug" didn't work.
3. Rockin' Support
I had so many visitors and little gifts. The Ballou's brought me an Edward bookmark and Twilight-themed bandaids.
I put a bandaid over my heart... and the bandaid immediately sucked it dry. Weird.
Emily Wing Smith brought me these:
The socks. Not the feet.
The Duffins (Linda, Heidi and Debbie) sent me this:
They named a balloon after me, thus ensuring my legacy would live on forever and ... Oh, wait. It popped.
It's good to be home. I received many other gifts and food, and it made me want to have heart surgery all over again. Thanks y'all for your kind words of support!