Tired of Looking for the Best Story Idea Ever? For the low low price of millions, this could be yours...
I learned today that I took the ignorant road to getting published. I wrote a book (by myself) and then found an agent who found me an editor who paid me for my book. (Okay, that sentence is hilarious in how short it makes the process sound. Please know that spliced in there are years and years of rejection and pain and fingernails being ripped out. I took the extremely torturous road.)
Well, prepare to have your mind blown.
Yesterday Sam and I ran across this ad in eBay. For sale: "a STORY to topple Star Wars, Harry potter investment."
Here is the description of the "Story Idea" and what you would be purchasing. I have to admit, it got me thinking. And to include y'all, I've added my thoughts in red.
I am selling my story that I have been creating for 10+ years. (not constantly writing, but of piecing everything together in a cohesive manner) It can be compared to stories like Star Wars, Harry Potter, Lord of the Rings, Matrix, Indiana Jones and other titles in those categories. [Why didn't I think to pitch my book as: "It's Star Wars meets Harry Potter, sprinkled with Lord of the Rings and a dash of Matrix. And when they all spent a night in a hotel together, nine months later Indiana Jones was born."]This is a really great story I have. [Pinky swear]. This story needs to be completed by a professional writer or Ghost Writer. I am by no means a writer. [I beg to differ. This stuff's great.] I would rather not sell it at all and just find investors to help hire a celebrity Ghost Writer, which would cost 250,000. [Hence the 3 million dollar starting bid.] The company that hires these writers out, guarantee the book to be a New York best seller. [I didn't get such a guarantee. I want my money back. Oh wait... I didn't give them money.] From my understanding, a celebrity ghost writer [=a celebrity who prefers to write books anonymously. This species is very rare.] is someone who has written many books for others that have become "best sellers" and are at a point in their writing career to produce these best sellers often. But for me, finding an investor seems impossible, it takes money to make money. [Someone should write that down]. If George Lucas offered to sell his idea of Star Wars, would you have bought it? [Yes. For 3 million dollars exactly.] This is a serious auction, I'm not looking to rip anyone off. [Of course not. Why would we think that?] If you win this auction and decide you don't like the story, then you don't have to pay, and you will be refunded fully. [As long as you have the receipt within thirty days. Otherwise, how will he know you bought the story at his store, and not his competitor's?] I would like to meet in person so that I can pass my works on. [This sounds very appropriate.] I will share my story with someone in person only and not over the internet. [Like any good STD]. My story is too valuable to be spread publicly and will give a lot of new ideas for movies and book series that should belong to the buyer. ebay requires a physical object to be purchased. This is a CD with my story, as well as printed material, as well as verbal information from me. This will be exchanged person to person. [3 mil will get you a used CD, used paper, and words. This is a very good price. I saw this previously on RealDeals for 4 mil.] This story will bring in endless fame and money to anyone who takes it.[Along with a monkey's paw, and this new designer outfit that only looks invisible, but really is made with the finest thread, fit for an emperor.] I do not have money to hire a Ghost Writer and I do not want to die with this story untold. And for the people reading this post who think I'm crazy for asking this amount of money for it; this kind of money is a drop in the bucket for large corporations. If it sounds like too much money then you are not the kind of buyer I'm looking for.[Thus excluding everyone except Donald Trump.]
I am not making fun, because in this crazy world, this man could very well get his millions, and the rest of us will be left kicking ourselves at the missed opportunity.
So, what do y'all think? Do you have any ideas on what his story is about? Would you have bought Star Wars? Do you think this seller has a google alert and will track down my blog and commit acts of violence "in person"?
Can you top this tagline: "It's Harry Potter meets Star Wars"?
I was thinking: "It's the Greatest Story Ever Told meets Don't Let the Pigeon Drive the Bus."