Monday, March 2, 2009


Book status: Revising.

Sometimes Neuroses are Totally Justified

So I've got a few things I'm a little neurotic about (refrain from interjecting, please).

1. After dishing out ice cream, I have to rinse off the spoon before I will use it to eat the ice cream.
2. If I finish my bowl of cereal, and I want more, I have to rinse out the bowl before I fill it up again. Even if it's the same cereal.
3. I can't sleep if my sheets have a wrinkle in them.
4. I can't sleep if Sam's touching me. (I know, I know. He's so lucky to have me.)
5. I can't sleep if he's breathing. (This one proves difficult sometimes).
6. If Sam drinks out of my Diet Coke, I won't drink the rest. It has nothing to do with cooties, or anything. I'm just very particular about the integrity of the drink.

I know what you're thinking: "Integrity of the drink? Is she crazy?"


But when it comes to preserving and protecting the perfect glass of Diet Coke, I am an expert. I'm not just bragging. (I know, I know. No one would really 'brag' about such a lame-o quirk).
But we have conducted scientific experiments on the subject.

Last summer, we went to Hilton Head Island with my sister and her family, and my parents. And they all got to making fun of me about my obsessive way of pouring the diet coke into the glass. (There's a special technique in the pouring that will preserve the most bubbles).

I know what you're thinking: "There's also a special place they send people like you."


So, my family created a "bubble challenge". (Because that's what you do when you're on vacation at the beach, right?)

They presented two identical glasses. Into one, I poured half a can of diet coke MY way, and then my bro-in-law poured the rest into the second glass THEIR way.

Then they blindfolded me, and switched the glasses around.

And just by the taste, I could tell which glass had been poured by me, and which one had been poured by them.

Fluke, you think?


We repeated the experiment several times. (Because it was raining outside, and because my family is made up of dorks). And my guessing percentage was a stunning 100%.

So, this just goes to prove... I'm not sure. But it has something to do with vindication!

I'm off to eat a healthy breakfast of Diet Coke and Mentos.

What? Is there a problem with that? I've got a brother-in-law on Sam's side who conducts experiments on this all the time...

Yeah, he's a dork too.


  1. YYEEESSS...

    I am a complete drink snob, too...though I questions your drink of choice?? Seriously, Diet Pepsi is where it's at. I guess you can add this to the BYU / Utah dispute between the Ashtons/Ballous.

    I don't know if I could tell between the pouring of the carbonation but I can tell if it is fountain, 2 liter, can - in the can or poured into a glass, etc...In addition, the ice to drink ratio is critical!!

  2. I can tell these things too but usually I'm so starved for a diet coke that I don't really care how it gets in my system.

    the preferred way for me is straight out of the can that has been sitting overnight in an almost freezing garage.

  3. Cam- I should have mentioned that ice-to-drink ratio!

    Shel- Mmmmm... Frosty night, bottle, sitting on the porch overnight, just this side of slushy... heaven.

  4. Yes, I am not allowed to be within 1 foot of Brodi in our bed. I thought it was strange when she asked if they made a bed bigger than a king size just to make sure that we didn't touch.

    And I have given up doing anything with her Diet Coke besides simply handing her the bottle. Anything else will ruin it for her.

    I still love her.

  5. well i will still share a drink after it's been drunk (LOL)--but touch my toothbrush and you are dead MEAT in this house!

  6. Okay, seriously, I know you are going to kill me and may never speak to me again for saying this: but I just googled the words "Diet Coke and Migraine" and pulled up THOUSANDS of articles and blog posts about how the aspartame in Diet Coke CAUSES migraines--especially the visual kind. One article was from the Mayo Clinic.

    Just some food for thought.

    I know, I know, you hate me now, but I am risking our friendship only because I care about your health.

    Psst. . .Sam . . .go hide Brodi's Diet Coke. She'll thank you later. Or if not, I've got connections in the FBI if you need protection.

  7. Bree- I am tired of your blasphemous ways! But deep down, I know you are right. Sometimes I can't help but wonder why something so delicious and soothing could ever mean me harm...

    I quit diet coke last summer, for two weeks. So, I can totally do that. AFTER I finish my revisions, though.

  8. i like that last picture its really cool!

  9. So you like maximum bubbles!! I like a minimal amount of the bubbles so I love pouring my drink straight into the middle (none of that down the side of the glass thing) and then dropping in some ice to cause more to escape. :)

  10. I was there at Hilton Head for the taste testing event and I'm still shocked to know that you scored 100%. However, after I tried the taste test, I could actually tell a difference between the two. But the only thing I care about is how to get the caffeine into my system the quickest...screw the bubbles!

  11. Hey, you want to talk Breakfast of Champions, you can't top my sister. She lets her kids have Mtn. Dew and Cheetos.