Wednesday, April 8, 2009

What the hug is wrong with me?

Farewell to Tuesday Posts status: So, as you may have noticed, no Tuesday dork side post yesterday. I am officially a M, W, F poster. Or Mawaf, as we like to be called.

But I paid the price. Blog reader Michael J could only make it through one paragraph of my Edwardastic post Monday before he started gagging. So this post is Edward-lite, with a side of geek.


Probably most of you know Star Trek is being re-born in theaters soon.

My sis and bro-in-law are fans. They fell in love over the episode "The Carbonite Maneuver". I mean, how could you not?

So I told my sis and bro-in-law: "Aren't you excited for the movie? Star Trek will finally be cool!"

Well, considering the rampage that followed, you'd have thought I said, "Hey everyone, I love to bite the heads off of doves! What do you think?"

To make up for it, enjoy this scene of Captain Kirk fighting an alien. No, I did not slow the video down. Yes, it really is that lame.

And by lame, I mean cool.


The Today Show did a segment on how hugs are the new handshake.

It was like watching something out of the third dimension. I really don’t like hugging. I need my personal space.

I know it sounds reasonable enough, but I really really really mean it when I say I really really need my personal space.

It’s why I don’t wear my wedding ring; the darn thing was hugging my finger, cutting off my circulation, and mouth-breathing in my face. (Honey, that doesn’t mean I don’t love the ring. Just sayin’.)

But seriously, this is my dance space. That is your dance space. Stay on your own side, Mr. spaghetti arms! (Can anyone name the movie?)

Back to the story. If hugs are the new handshake, I’m going to have to bring to fruition my lifelong dream of living as a cheerful shut-in.

But here’s the problem: Ever since I saw the segment on the Today Show, I haven’t been able to stop hugging people. Anyone and everyone. Neighbors. Teachers. Tennis coaches. Passers-by. The mailman. My life-size cutout of Rafa.

This week at Albertson’s I leapt over the check out counter to hug the store clerk who merely asked, “Did you find everything okay?”

My tennis coach Mike said I sure can run down a lob. I blushed and then tackled the guy.

If you’re just lookin for a little touch, come on over. Or, better yet, merely walk down my street. My "hug-dar" will detect you, and I'll be right there.


  1. The movie = Dirty Dancing. Great cheesy movie...*sigh*

    I understand what you mean by hugging. Good thing your checkout clerk didn't think you were trying to rob the place!

    Goodness, if a hug is the new handshake I shudder for when the norms progress to kissing strangers as the new handshake. Then I'll be joining you in the "hermit" status.

  2. Honestly Brodi, I hate that we don't share the Star Trek luv. I would prefer you bite the heads off doves and like Star Trek than the other way around. You are truly missing out. I mean a dove is just a really small chicken anyway.

  3. Una- I'm kind of hoping it all devolves to a point where chest-thudding replaces everything else. What do you think?

  4. Eden- I can't believe you just admitted you would sacrifice doves if I would become a Trekkie!

    And I do love Star Trek. I mean, I loved that fight scene. Did that not come across?

  5. I'm a little disappointed, Bro. I was kind of hoping you would share more examples of awkward hugs (although I'm not thinking of any in particular. Really,I'm not.)

  6. Hey, I've been looking for reasons to become a shut-in . . . thanks!

  7. i am with you on hugging...except diane...everyone hugs diane and there is nothing awkward about it~

  8. Valynne- I have no idea to what you are referring. I do not recall.

    Kim- Shut-ins of the world unite!

    Dorien- Of course Diane is excluded. Diane is merely one giant hug wrapped in skin.

  9. I concur with Valynne. I was looking forward to a particular awkward hug antidote. Hmmm.

  10. Brodi - haven't we already done the chest-thudding? I think the hug has replaced it! Hugs can weird me out enough (depending on who gives about awkward) but chest thumping? I will worry that sometimes I do not have enough layers on to protect me!

    Now in the loving of Star this just the original? *get's ready to duck* Because I think Piccard is/was the far superior captain. *ducks and watches*

  11. Bree- Again, I plead the fifth on that event which I cannot recall.

    Una- If I had to choose a captain, it would be Piccard. But, truthfully, I've never seen a full episode... of any Trek generation. But, hey, I'm not knocking them! At least, I'm trying not to. Most of my best friends like some version of the Trek.

    Of course, those friends also spontaneously break out into Vulcan dialect...

  12. What? no computers in bikinis?

    While the star trek clip was cool, earlier this week someone tweeted this Six Million Dollar Man fight scene that is a must-see.

  13. Michael- thanks for the link. Very funny. It's not hard to make an hour long show when everything is in slow motion.

    And, why did the 6 million dollar man bother to ask the 10 foot hairy monster if he was a woman? And could he understand?

    I'd have ripped his arms off at minute 1:01


  14. I was never a "trekkie" and that clip just proves my point. However, I can always be converted if the new movie is good. Just look at BSG. I'm hooked!

    As far as hugging, I'm the queen of keeping my distance. I let Diane do all the hugging for me. I'm usually seen with my arms crossed over my chest with a slight lean backwards (in case people don't get body language with the crossed arms). But kudos to you for hugging everyone. Everybody needs a hug!

  15. Erin- Don't expect to get hooked on the trek. And as for your hugs, as we always say, it's like huggin a dead fish.

    Just the way I like 'em.

  16. Movie is Dirty Dancing I think?? I got my book really didn't have to do that but thanks :) I read the first 3 chapters last night - so far so good.

  17. My mom and I used to watch THE NEXT GENERATION together every night when I was in college. And I actually went to a movie with people who dressed up with phasers and everything for the generation movie release. (I did NOT dress up!) The other day I saw a clip from an old rerun and about strangled myself. I can't believe I watched it every night! I still think Captain Piccard was the most good looking, and how can you not love the banana clip sunglasses on the Reading Rainbow guy??? But I'm not the Trekkie type anymore. I'm more the Reading Rainbow type now.

  18. I don't classify myself as a Trekkie. I enjoyed it but mainly because it was something my older brothers loved and by watching, I felt included and close to them. I never really liked the original, I preferred the Next Generation (except Wesley...but I'll spare you all my rant about him). I thought the Star Trek Enterprise (I think) where it was the precursor to the original Star Trek was good. Who knows, if the movie is good, we could reignite Trekkiedom.

  19. Cam- I'm glad you got it. Let me know what you think!

    Anne- lol! "how can you not love the banana clip sunglasses on the Reading Rainbow guy???"
    I guess we become more reading rainbow and less trek when we have kids, right?

    Una- I would love to see a trek-reimagining, like Battlestar Galactica.