Wednesday, December 9, 2009

Being a Brunette is Hard... People get hurt.

Whoa. Late start today.

So, on to the hair. You may recall that Bree Despain said I lacked the skillz needed to pull off being a brunette. She threw down her gauntlet (a ski glove) and I picked it up and slapped her cheek with it.

It was on.

I tried. I'm telling you here and now, I really tried. But after the first attempt, there was some argument as to whether or not I was truly brunette.

Here's a pic the day after I got my hair done with some of the writer peeps and my cousin Debbie and her blogger/writer friends. I admit, I can see why a select few thought I was still blond. (I'm the brunette on the left toward the back).
(Olivia, Heidi, me Emily Wing Smith, Sara B., Valynne N., Bree Despain, Debbie)

So I decided to try again. But I ran into another issue most everyone faces when they are making the jump from blond to brunette: If I go any darker, how will people be able to tell me apart from Sara Zarr?
(Sara Zarr, me)

Aside from the hair, we're practically twins, from our tiny little ears to our expressive eyebrows.

Despite this, I decided to go darker anyway. I've always wanted a twin sister. Sara will be so pleased.

So the writer peeps and I scoured the aisles of Walmart until we found the perfect shade for brunette virgins. Emily and Valynne got in on the coloring action too.

After the 2nd attempt to become brunette, my hair ended up... dark dark dark blond. Which I thought would be okay, until I got a peek at the result under the harsh flourescent lights of Walmart, and nearly popped my gizzard. I was pretty sure I'd seen the same shade of blond/brown caked onto the soles of my husband's shoes.

Even the lady at the checkout treated me differently. She took one look at my hair, and said, "You're gonna have to push the 'okay' button on the credit card machine extra hard."

me: "Why? Is it because I'm a brunette, and life is just more difficult for brunettes?"

her: "Lady, that ain't brunette."

Then my hand got caught in the twisty-turny bag thingee, because apparently brunettes are clumsier too.
Emily dressed the wound, and told me I needed to disinfect it immediately since the injury was sustained at Walmart, and that means there was a 98% chance I'd lose the hand.

I raced back to the house, and, being the calm rational person that I am, grabbed the remains of Emily Wing Smith's coloring bottle and tried to go dark a third time. THREE TIMES.

The result? Red.
I know. I thought it was successful too. 4 out of 5 writer peeps liked it. (The dissenter was Bree Despain, who believes as much as I try, I will never grow the cajones needed to be a brunette. She also believes hair is a precious commodity, and what I had done to mine was tantamount to inflation. Upon seeing the color, she said, "Why do you hate hair? Why??!!")

But my blond hair is still rejecting the color. After 24 hours, the red/brown had already faded to this:
And this morning, I found some blond hairs peeking through.

Fine. I admit it. I have no idea how to go brunette.

How's y'all's week going? It's 6 degrees here in SLC and I can tell you from personal experience that brunettes don't do well in the cold.


  1. totally hott!

    With me being a blond now and you a brunette now...its like its opposite day. So exciting!

  2. I hope you were able to salvage the hand. I think writing might be harder if you are doing it one-handed. Maybe.

  3. I, too, hope there is no permanent hand damage!

    Sorry to hear about the problems with the hair coloring. My best friend, S, is a very light blond (same shade as yours, I think) and her hair loathes dye. The only time it took to a hair color was in high school (our colors are black and gold) and she dyed it gold (on her light blond hair it looked like a green cast bronze) and it never came out and the dye was a washes out in a week type. Yeah... The more she tried to wash it out, the greener it got. Letting it grow out and cut it was her only option. She hasn't dyed her hair (permanent or temporary) since.

    I must say I loved the red, but I can't believe how quickly it's fading. Did you use a temporary type dye?

  4. I love the red on you! I wish it wasn't fading so quickly. Does your hair take perms (not that you'd want one)? I'm just wondering because some people's hair don't take perms, so I'm wondering if your hair just resists everything.

    Good luck with the hand!

  5. You look so gorgeous with dark hair! I love it!

  6. Sam- If I went brunette and you didn't go blond, no one would be able to tell us apart. You, me and Sara. The cutest triplets around.

    Melissa- the hand is still attached, but two fingers are starting to turn black...

    Una- I used a dye that was supposed to last 28 washes, and longer if you were going darker. I understand about your friend S; my hair has a tendency to go green too.

    Jenni- Yeah, my hair never did well with perms either. Of course, I had naturally curly hair, so I just assumed the perms never grew out.

    Alysa- thanks! Now please go tell Bree you think so over at her blog.

  7. Are you sure you're using hair dye? Perhaps you grabbed a tube of watercolors by mistake?

  8. Douglas- that explains why my shower water was brunette.

  9. The problem is that your all of your writer peeps are TOO brunette. You will always look blonde in comparison. Maybe you should talk to them about going blonde.

  10. ok i totally LOVE the red!

    but what do i know? i am a brunette (and it's all natural baby!) lol...

    let me tell you also this fact:


    seriously LOVE the red, it makes a bold statement!

  11. I actually love the red too! Has mom seen it yet? You know, your hair is so much of who you are...:) I think you should keep it red. Then people will really be able to tell us apart. I'll now be known as "Brodi's sister". On second hand, maybe you should go back to being blonde.

  12. Juliana- Great idea! You work on Emily, I'll start with the two red-heads and the move on to the other brunette and Valynne.

    Dorien- I know! It's like the Frakkin' Arctic Circle out there!

    Brodi's sister- No, Mom doesn't know. at least, I'm pretty sure she doesn't know, because she's still talking to me.

  13. I love the new look!! Seriously! Don't let anyone tell you otherwise!! They're jealous, jealous I tell you.

  14. When are they going to invent permanent hair color? I mean permanent like permanent eyeliner? Tattoos for hair!

    . . . I'm thinking of dying my hair after witnessing all the drama for myself. Will it turn green? Will it fall out? AAAAck!

  15. Nicole- That's what my mom used to tell me when the cool kids at my high school threw food at me.

    Kim- Maybe I should try tatooing my scalp. and don't you dare touch your strawberry-gold locks. Bree would barf up a lung over that!

  16. Wow! I can't believe it's washing out already. Too bad- I dig the red.

    Maybe you should just stop washing your hair? Then the dye wouldn't fade & maybe with all the greasiness your hair would look darker? Just throwing out suggestions here.

    Thanks for the lunch! It was a lot of fun.

  17. I love it dark!

    I know I'm new here -- I think I've only commented like once -- but I've been reading for a few weeks. I asked people what their favorite blogs were, and someone said you. So here I am.

    I really NEVER do this, but after reading this post I was reminded of my own adventures in brunettehood. Except mine was by accident. Here's the link: (As a blonde I don't don't know to make it a link.)

  18. Olivia- Thanks for the suggestion. And Sam thanks you too. He is looking forward to the next few greasy weeks. Lucky man.

    Lunch was fab. We should do it again.

    Wonder Woman- Thanks for joining the blog! I remember you have commented before. I checked out the link- why is it us blonds always pull out the red in any color? I swear I was just standing in front of the mirror, watching in real time as my hair turned red... And I was like, why is it turning red? It's supposed to be rich dark brown!!

  19. Nice! Ok, now you definitely a brunette. And I think it looks great on you. Way to be brave and go for it! That said, though, I just can't picture any Ashton as anything other than blonde, so I'm glad the blonde is working its way back.

  20. Heidi- As long as no one dares call me blond again, I've done my job. My mom saw my hair for the first time last night. I think she's hoping the blond will overcome too.

  21. I have the opposite problem-- my hair's so dark to begin with you can't tell I've done anything to it. I'm pretty sure I could go with black dye and nobody would say a thing.

    I went out to get the mail yesterday afternoon and was still regretting it 6 hours later.

  22. Very sexy! I like it. Did you cut it too? Let me splain something...when you go from blonde to brunette you usually have to do a color filler or it will fade (would you like a lecture on color molecules and the 3 primary colors and how blondes are missing 2 out of the 3 and so a color with all 3 doesn't have anything to hold on to?). Probably best to have it done 1st professionally and then let yourself go crazy :)

    Yes, yes, not only am I a super cool accountant but I am also a cosmetologist :) I'm a winner (I tell myself that every night before bed so I don't cry).

  23. Britt- That's like Valynne's hair! She tried to add some red to her hair, and after waiting the longest out of all of us, she washed out the dye and it looked the exact same as before. (Unless she's standing in a certain spot of the universe where the sun is shining at just the perfect trajectory to glint off the red...)

    Cam- Why does everyone have all the useful tips AFTER the fact? I'm sure you could've brought up your coloring tidbits in comments past... So was Accounting/Cosmetology a double major?

  24. Wow, Cam sounds like a genius. The one time I tried to dye my hair and it turned out horrible, I also ran into geniuses after the fact, like some of my college students, who informed me that grocery store brunette dyes always go red and that if you want a true brown you have to get it from a beauty supply place and mix the ingredients yourself — or something.

    That was 3 yrs ago and I never dyed my hair again, just let it grow out, so I wasn't able to test the advice. Best of luck to you!

  25. Yes, double major at Harvard. Something like that.

    Sorry, next time check with your 500 closest friends before you do anything and we can teach you so much :)

    When are we doing New Moon and Pizza??

  26. Nikki- I have to mix my own color from a beauty supply shop? That sounds like way too much work. Beauty is so confusing at times.

    Cam- I knew you were brilliant. Besides your lack of Ender's Game appreciation, you're a genius.

    New Moon and Pizza sound great. Will Ben see it again with us?

  27. Loved the red too. You should probably try henna if you ever do this again, it's supposed to wash out. Of course, it's also supposed to be red, so if you're set on the brunette thing it might not work.
    For myself, getting older seems to have gone a long way towards becoming brunette. Just the other day someone was describing a hair color to me and said,
    "it's a dirty blond", and I said, "Like this?" pointing to my head. "No, lighter." I was devastated, because what's darker than dirty blond? I'm afraid my hair is officially brown now :(.
    (I know you were dying to know all that)

  28. Ok I give, it's totally brunette now. And I'm diggin it! I think you pull it off nicely. However that said, I'm so jealous you HAD blonde and went darker. I was blonde as a kid and wish I could still be and now pay money to do so. No wonder hair is such a lucrative business. We always want what we dont have. :)

  29. Cherie- I kept insisting my hair was brown, and everyone else was calling it dirty dishwater blond! Exact opposite.

    Debbie- You're right. We can't always get what we want. Someone should write a song about that.

  30. Never use Hena, please. It ruins your hair. If the red faded out way too fast, try washing in cool water. Red is know to wash out very fast. I like the brunette, but you will have to fill the hair before you color darker.
    Sorry, I am a friend of Debbie's, and I do hair. So I tend to be a bit opinionated! But I think you made a great brunette!

  31. Kristie- thanks for the info! I think the general consensus is that I should see professional help next time...