Monday, February 14, 2011

Questions with the Question-Maker: My New Computer and My Latest Revisions

It's been a while since we've had a visit from the snarky question maker, so I've invited him here today. 

Since he lives in the void between rainbows and shooting stars, it was difficult to get him a message, but I managed to secure myself an owl with the head of a unicorn, and as everyone knows, the owlcorn can fly to the edge of the void and then use his spiky horn to break through. 

No, I haven't been sleeping much. Why do you ask?

Anyway, moving on to the Q&A transcript.

Question-Maker: Hey, Bro. It's good to be back. 

me: Good to have you back.

QM: Lemme go over my notes here... see what I've missed... whoa wait. It says here you got a new fish?

me: Yes.
Shadow: little does he know he's almost dead.
QM: Why do you hate fish so much? 

me: This time it will be different! How hard can it be to keep a Betta Fish alive?

QM: That's what you said five fish ago. 

me: It's Sam's fault. Moving on.

QM: Let's see... You got a new computer?

me: Yes. Her name is Pink. Here's her baby picture.
Pink. Yes, my study is always that messy.

QM: How do you know your computer's a girl?

me: Because when she was lost, she asked for directions. (snicker snicker)

QM: You're still cracking yourself up, I see. Did you know you're like the 6 billionth person to tell that joke?

me: There are only six billion people on the planet.

QM: Exactly. Moving on. You just finished your 4th round of revisions. Isn't that, like, a lot? 

me: I don't know. I've never done this before. But it's okay, because there's just one more line revision, and then it's off to copyedits!

QM: And then it will be done?

me: Um, no. Then there are the first pass pages. 

QM: And THEN it's done?

me: Um, I don't know. I think there might be second pass pages.

QM (pauses): Are you making up this whole "publishing dream" thing? I mean, next year are you going to be telling us you're on the 92nd pass pages?

me: No! It will one day be a book. I swear! Just ask the Germans. They recently had an auction for my book! 

QM: Ah. Herzlichen Glückwunsch!

me: Hals- und Beinbruch! 

QM: Did you just tell me to go break my arm and my leg? 

me: *crickets*

QM: Try to acquire a little German before you offend a nation.

me: I once acquired a little German. He was awesome.

QM: Where's my unicowl? I think I'm ready to leave.

me: He prefers owlcorn, just so you know...

Ah, it's always a treat (and a blow to the ego) to have the question-maker. So, what did y'all do over the weekend? Anyone have fun Valentine's plans? Anyone have questions to add to the question-maker? 

One last thing... Happy Valentine's Day! Will you (yes, you) be my Valentine?


  1. A German auction? Wow! Did you get to go? Are German auctioneers more understandable than American ones?

  2. I am assuming that I am your Valentine, but I am not entirely sure. It may be Rafa? Let me know so that I can plan accordingly.

  3. Robin- No, I didn't get to go. But I imagine it being like a cattle auction. I could be wrong.

    Truthfully, the auction took like over two months. Crazy!

    Sam- You are definitely my Valentine! Rafa is my Christmas Elf. And Jason Statham is my Arbor Day Lover.

  4. Two months?! I hope they brought in snacks. I wonder if they finally settled it with a duel to the death. What great publicity would it be to have publishers killing each other over the chance to buy your book!

    You realize this just proves me right, don't ya?

  5. That laptop is ... amazing. Are you getting ready to join the red hat society? You're a little young ...


  6. Ah thats the sweetest little baby picture I ever did saw. It was fun to get to talk for a few minutes on Saturday.

  7. Robin- Well, to be honest, they were only raising their bids by half-pennies. That's why it took so long.

    Donna- You're never too young for the red hat society! by the by, what is the red hat society?

    Debbie- Isn't she precious? And very good to see you and your crew too!

  8. Yes! I love the question maker and all of his snarkiness! And that is one sweet laptop! What happened to Little Red?

  9. Lulabell- Little Red has been turned over to the kids. Where he will die a slow and painful death.

  10. I will certainly be your valentine! Will you be mine? And, I have an idea on how we can resolve this St. Clair thing. Let's reimplement polygamy. Then, all we have to decide is who's gonna be the first wife!

    Thanks for explaining the difference between the editors (at least two of them) in the publishing business. I really think a copyeditor is my way to go and I'm really excited about it now!

  11. Jenni- I think you'd make a great copy editor! And as for the polygamy, you can totally be first wife. Isn't the first wife the one who has to cook and clean and raise the children?

    Then I'll be the second wife, lounging about in my special wing in the house.