Friday, May 6, 2011

A List! Including: My New Car, Where Comfort is an Option... And Sam Destroys the Indestructible Miracle Blade

Hey y'all!

Happy Friday.

First off, Chersti Nieveen interviewed me on her blog for Utah Author's Month. Please go visit, and leave a comment! I don't want her viewership to go down just because I'm on there.

For today, a list!

1. So, I finally bought a new car. The best thing about it? The car has a special - nay, magical - button. Check it out.

Yep. That there is a "comfort" button.

Has there ever been anything so wonderful? 

I want to know how this button came about. Were the car makers all, "Let's be the first guys to make 'comfort' an option. Not mandatory. We'll be rich!"

When I first got in the car to test drive it, the button was not depressed. I had to wonder, who wouldn't press the button? Maybe someone who had it all, and was like, "I want to see how the uncomfortable people live. Jeeves! Un-press the button!"

There are definitely times I get in the car, and I think to myself, "You know, life has been a little easy lately. Comfort, off!"

Sometimes I threaten the kids: "Stop fighting, or you know that comfort you've been enjoying? Consider it gone!"

2. It's Mother's Day this weekend. Time for really bad art from my kids.
Here's a preview: Kid C made a card for me, and drew a picture of the two of us together. 
Me, Kid C
Emily Wing Smith was right- I do look the same in every picture. Kid C definitely gets his drawing skills from me. Lately, he's been asking if he can illustrate my next book. 

Judging from this picture, that would be totally awesome. 

3. The other day, Sam was baking buffalo wings, and when he removed the tray from the oven, underneath the tin foil he found this:

That would be our kitchen scissors and a steak knife, melted together, and flat as a crepe. 

I sent the picture to Miracle Blade, along with the note, "I thought your knives were supposed to be indestructible, but apparently they can't withstand 450 degrees for 15-18 minutes. Put that in your infomercial!"

I want to know how Sam took the cookie sheet out of the cupboard, put the knife and scissors on top of it, then placed a sheet of tin foil over the whole thing, and then put two rows of frozen buffalo wings on top of that... and didn't notice!

It's not like they blended in with the background. You really can't get more neon-red than those scissors. And when he was carefully placing the wings on top, was there ever a moment where he thought, "Hey, the wings seem to be pooling on either side of this giant bump in the middle. That's weird."

It's probably an air bubble.

Oh, nope. It's scissors and a steak knife.

So, what are y'all up to this weekend? Any special Mother's Day plans? Have you commented on Chersti's blog? Anyone else ever bake a pair of scissors with a side of steak knife?


  1. Ha ha! That's hilarious that Sam didn't notice the steak knife and scissors. It's kind like when you didn't notice the checkout price on Amazon for one measly book was over $200.

  2. Jenni- Hey! Those are completely different situations! The total price on the checkout blended in with all the other typing on that page. If the price had been written in Neon-Red Scissors, I would have noticed.

  3. Ok, I have to ask... did your kitchen smell like burning plastic fumes? While I've never baked scissors or knives, I did melt a couple of those plastic bread bag clips to the bottom of the oven, and the kitchen smelled unbearably horrid for two days. I think we were all a little high from the fumes... but on the plus side, the kids seemed to really sleep like rocks for those couple of days.

  4. Suzanne- Strangely, it didn't smell at all! Unless the fumes were odorless. Sam did start wandering around the kitchen saying, "The Devil Eats CheezeWhiz" backwards. I don't know if that had anything to do with it.

  5. Ah, I was laughing out loud at this post...hilarious! Thanks so much for the mood-enhancer :-)

  6. A few weeks ago my husband baked sweet potatoes in our oven and while they were baking a few decided to go exploring down into the "do not enter" areas of the oven and the next time we used the oven the house filled with smoke and the smoke detectors started screaming.
    I have to admit, it was pretty cool for a few days not being able to use my oven. Until that day when I really needed chocolate chip cookies and apparently it wasn't "worth the risk of setting the house on fire!" Obviously my husband and I have different priorities.
    But then we discovered that self cleaning ovens clean themselves. WHO KNEW!?
    I guess that's my very own version of the comfort button.

  7. I want a comfort button! Do they sell them for lives as a whole or just for cars?

    I love the scissors and a steak knife story. Thanks for the laugh!

  8. Shari- cookies are always worth the risk of setting the house on fire, aren't they? And I've never trusted the "self-cleaning" button. One of those things that sounds too good to be true. :)

    Jenilyn- I think my car's "comfort" button has a wide range. There's the chance that pressing it will make the whole valley comfortable. :)

  9. Your pictures crack me up. I'm still in awe that you took a photo of someone vomiting in the streets of New York. Even melted scissors can't top that one!

  10. Gina- what amazed me is that people walked by a puking man on the the street and *didn't* take a picture. It seems like common sense.

  11. So I want to know what car you got that has that comfort button??

  12. Your ideas for people who turned off the comfort button cracked me up! Poor neon scissors! Oh, and the knife.

  13. Jessie- It is an Acura MDX. The last mid-sized SUV with third-row seating you'll ever need. Until you get the next one. :)

    Jenny- I know. We had a lovely funeral for them.

  14. LDStorymakers isn't the same without you. NO ONE is telling any stories with melted knives in them! :(

  15. Robin- I wish I could be there! Is tomorrow the day you find out about the first chapter contest? Let me know. :) Are you learning a lot?

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  17. (I can spell. Honest.)

    Sam's guilty of distracted cooking. He should watch out. They could pass a law.

  18. Donna- At least someone in our house is trying to cook. :)

  19. Congrats on buying your new car, Brodi! Haha, Just hang in there, I'm sure that you'll be able to get over the excitement. Also, that's so sweet of your kids to draw you a picture for Mother's Day, in which it might be pretty bad, but the feelings are there.

  20. Oh Brodi! This was by far the best laugh I've had all week. I thought that black thing was surely a spatula. Wha?? A steak knife!? Your accompanying dialogue was hilarious. If it makes Sam feel any better, I put the rice cooker on the stove top and then turned on the stove to pan-fry some chicken. Just the wrong burner. Melted those little stubby legs right off our rice-cooker. Um hmmmm.... Smart.

  21. When I first saw that "comfort" button. I had to ask what exactly does it do. Jokes aside, congratulations on getting your new car. And it's funny how the scissors and the knife ended up in that situation.

  22. Aww... seeing how Kid C made a card for you is really cute and not to mention, it's also heartwarming. Seeing how you got yourself a new car made me realize that I should get one for myself and learn how to drive well along the way. And also poor steak knife and scissors.