Wednesday, December 7, 2011

Why I wanted to punch my Hubs... No Seriously.

Sorry so late with the blog. I spent the first half of the day with no internet. Now I completely know how the pioneers felt. 


Anywho, my brain no longer works right, so Sam has to remind me about things like appointments and parties and stuff. Last Friday, Sam's all, "Kid C's first school ski day is today!"

And I'm all, "What?!"

Sam: "Yeah, he needs gear. GEAR! Lots of gear that starts with the letter 'G' like Goggles and Gloves, and a Gator! And he has to be to this other school parking lot [not our own school, but another school] because if he's not there on time the bus will leave without him!"

So I ran around to a bunch of different places and bought the first goggles they showed me because I didn't have time to price-shop. 

I picked Kid C up from school, ran home and changed him. It was like a fire drill at the local station. I'm all, "Strip! STRIP!! Now put these on. No! On your head! Does it look like Goggles go on your feet?!"

Sweats, check.

Pants check.

two long sleeve t-shirts, check.

Ski Jacket, check. Gloves, check. Gator, check. Goggles, check. Hat, check. 

Kid C was very nervous. He asked if there would be bullies on the bus. He insisted on wearing every article of ski gear, even though he still had a long bus ride, and even though it was like 65 degrees outside.

65 degrees. 

But he didn't want to stand out because he wasn't sure how to put his gloves and goggles and stuff on. 

So, I race him to the other school, and we wait. 

That was how he looked as the final bell rang, and the entire school came out, filing past him and giving him strange looks. You can see the boy behind him is in simply a t-shirt and jeans, and here's kid C wearing every article of ski gear possible. 

And we wait.

And wait. 

And wait. 

I call Sam. "Are you sure we're at the right school?"

"Yes, I'm sure! I've never been surer about anything in my life!"

me: "Are you sure it's today?"

Sam: "Yes! I'm even more sure that it's today than I am that you're at the right school!"

We wait. 

And wait. 

No other skiers show up. But plenty of carpool moms drove by the poor snow boy, looking at me like I'm crazy because it's sunny and warm. 

Then my phone rings. It's Sam. "Um... looking at the fine print here... and it seems... the ski program starts next week. 

Who wants to break the news to Shaun White here?
So I'm all, "Hey Kid C. Congratulations! You passed the test. I just wanted to make sure it was possible to make it here on time, with you in your complete ski gear. And look! You did it!"

He gave me a look. (I could only see so much of it through his goggles). Then he turned around, slumped his shoulders and clomped his way back to the car. 

This is my life lately. What about you?


  1. I am dying. Poor guy. Well at least he's ready.

  2. Brodi, I am dying laughing at that picture. I'm sorry, but that is just too hilarious. I can just see all the moms driving by going what in the heck is she doing to her poor kid? Aw man. And all of that torture for nothing.

  3. Poor Kid C. Glad he didn't pass out from heat exhaustion, unless that's Friday's post.

  4. Jenny- Yes! The bright spot is that he can get dressed in five minutes flat.

    Lisa- The sad thing is that I also was feeling totally vulnerable out there. Like I was all, "Yeah, we're out here by ourselves, dressed like the abominable snowman, SO WHAT?!"

    Jenni- I always save the punchlines for Friday's post. :)

  5. OK, in fairness to me - you were the one that actually signed him up. You actually went there and collected all of the information, signed a check and signed your name on all of the papers with all of the dates.

    And yes, I am sorry. That was a pretty funny conversation that we had though when I broke the news to you. I am adorable. And, I am still sorry. I will take ski lessons as a sign of contrition.

  6. Okay, that's just awesome. I see an MG in your future... you must use this priceless material. :)

  7. Sam- All I did was pay for the lessons YOU set up! You are so not getting out of this.

    Tamara- That's how I have to look at it! all of this is just material for future books. :)

  8. Kid C is priceless. Just wait until he can ski circles around his dad. Sweet revenge. :)

  9. Robin- he's taken one lesson, so he can already ski circles around his dad. :)

  10. Kid C looks warm and toasty alone. But at least when the lessons actually start, he'll know how to put everything on - again. :-)

  11. LOL! Poor kid C! I don't want to point fingers but, um, you might haven given him a complex. ;) I tease, I tease.

  12. I love this post so dang much. Laughing. Out. Loud. (No acronym this time.) Way to come through Brod. I'm impressed. I showed up with all five kids in tow to Eliza's music class last week - completely missed the memo that it was a parent day. So guess who's kid had no parent? Mine. And only mine. I took the other four to Target while we waited for her class to end. Yeah, my life's pretty much like that all the time.

    Finished Everneath. I have so much to say. But I'll email or we'll talk in person. You are wittier than anyone I know, clever, brilliant, I laughed my heiny off in your acknowledgements, and I am truly hooked. It was an amazing story. YOU are amaaazing! More later... about Bert, and Mrs. Stone, and such. xo

  13. So I was feeling the bluuuuuuuues today...
    and holy friction marshmallows am I so NOT anymore.

    In other words: That was pretty much the funniest thing I've ever read. Now I must try that with my brother....

  14. I have been laughing for several minutes for several reasons. One, this is hilarious. Two, it totally sounds like something that would happen at my house. And three, I love that in the midst of the chaos, confusion and calling, you remembered to take a picture.

    Bonus mom points right there I'd say.

  15. Angela- The cup is always half full!

    Cath- Can't wait to discuss it! Except, what does Bert have to do with it?

    Julianna- Holy Friction Marshmallows? Haha!

    Tasha- I always remember to take a picture! To remind myself that someday, I'll laugh about it.

  16. U can't make this stuff up. HILARIOUS LMBO XD

  17. So funny! Poor kid C! But he looks awesome!

  18. Your dog, Bert! The paragraph about your Mom and Bert??? Was that not true? And mrs. Stone, our English teacher. I was just noticing some of the truisms mingled into your book. Am I off?

  19. Kelsey- And these things seem to always happen to us!

    Andrea- he's going to be so ready tomorrow.

    Cath- oh yeah! I totally forgot that Bert scene made it in there! So funny. It was added late in the process, and it didn't stick inside my tiny brain. And yes, Mrs. Stones name came from Mrs stone. Except the character is older. :)

  20. lmfao... really... haven't read anything so funny in many days!!!

  21. Hahaha, oh, well a good trial run!!